1. The third aunt was hit by a Bentley on the road and became a vegetative person, and the owner lost more than 6 million yuan. After the third uncle got the money, he immediately got along with a 25-year-old flight attendant. Two people now

1. The third aunt was hit by a Bentley on the road and became a vegetative person, and the owner lost more than 6 million yuan. After the third uncle got the money, he immediately got along with a 25-year-old flight attendant. Now the two have been dating for more than half a year and plan to have a wedding. The flight attendant's parents said: Then the bride price is set at 600,000! The third uncle also agreed, and on the day of the engagement, the third uncle looked at both families with a dowry of 600,000 yuan: Isn't this dowry money from our family? Why do your parents also have 600,000? The flight attendant said with special grievance: My mother said that I married you to accumulate eight lifetimes of virtue, and you married me to pour eight lifetimes of mold, and the bride price can not let you out.

2. There is a young woman in the unit who is divorced, when she leaves work this night, she secretly stuffed a card for me, I walked to the place where no one was, it was a hotel room card. My heart skipped a beat, and I thought to myself, is this the legendary peach blossom luck? At this moment, the boss stopped me and told me to make a plan, which I would have tomorrow morning. I was resentful, but there was no way, who made her my boss? The boss Shi Shiran left the company, I thought for a moment, and found another female colleague, Ame, who has strong business ability, and if she is asked to help me do this plan, it will definitely be no problem. Ame smiled and said, is there a date at night? I smiled and said nothing, Ame nodded and said, if you want me to work overtime to help you, you give me two thousand yuan. I didn't say a word, and directly transferred two thousand yuan to her. She patted me on the shoulder and said, you go, the plan is handed over to me.

3. The father-in-law saw his mother-in-law and a man enter the hotel, waited for half an hour and kicked in the door. The mother-in-law was frightened, and the father-in-law yelled at her: "We are finished, divorced, you can't get a penny." Then the father-in-law took a picture and left the hotel, and the next day the two went through divorce procedures. That night, I heard my father-in-law call a man: "Xiao Wu, you did a good job with this, 300,000 have been transferred to you..."

4. This weekend, Ma Qing had nothing to do at home in the summer, and she was a little sleepy after watching TV. Ma Qing went to the window to sleep, and her husband said: Wife, you can sleep in peace!!! I'll catch mosquitoes for you!!! Ma Qing fell asleep... Just after falling asleep, I heard a loud laugh and opened my eyes to see that it was my husband. My husband couldn't help but laugh: I chased the mosquitoes a few times, and suddenly felt like a pork seller.

5. Recently, my wife had to learn to cook on a whim, and as a result, when she poured oil, she burned her hands. Wife: "Husband, my hand is burned, it hurts!" Me: "Didn't you tell you that toothpaste can relieve pain?" Wife: "I know, but I have already taken a tube of toothpaste, and it still hurts!" Me: "Mom, let's go to the hospital first and see our brains..."

6. When I was a freshman, my buddies started chasing school flowers, and it has been almost five years now. During the confession several times, the school flower did not agree, saying that the buddies were naïve. Tonight, the four of us were drinking, and he was very drunk and was going to go to the school flower to confess. When I arrived at the door of the school flower, I confessed to the school flower, and the school flower smiled and agreed. Then the buddy actually said: We have found the wrong person, she will not agree with me...

7． After work that day, the supervisor of our workshop bought 50 million seeds. After everyone learned of this news, they all coaxed the supervisor to invite guests to dinner. After arriving at the five-star hotel, there was a brother who ordered expensive dishes and asked for two bottles of 82-year-old Lafite. This meal was estimated at tens of thousands, and the supervisor was a bit blindfolded at the time, throwing down 1,000 yuan and leaving. The scene became particularly awkward, and later everyone could only AA.

8． Today's company dinner, all the leaders who came, only I was the little brother. I'm going to pat them on the back, maybe I can get a promotion and a raise. When I got to the hotel, I asked the leaders how they had come. Chairman: "I came in a car." Me: "Mighty! CEO: "I came on horseback. Me: "Dashing to the extreme!" Manager: "I came on foot." Me: "Calm down! My supervisor couldn't get used to my ugly face, and he said angrily, "I'm crawling here!" I smiled and stuck out my thumb at him and said, "Steady!" ”

9. Futukang's supervisor got married, and I went to the wedding with 20,000 yuan. At the wedding feast, there was a little girl sitting next to me, probably six or seven years old. She had a haggard face but a very good appetite, and she ate every dish seriously. After a few sips of Coke from a large bowl, I noticed that her Coke was still steaming. Curious, I asked her: Why is your Coke still hot? She chewed on the dish and said: This is not Coke, this is cold particles and diarrhea, I have a cold and diarrhea, Grandma said that the doctor will not let me eat randomly, I stole it, while eating and drinking medicine must be fine! With this IQ, this child will become a great instrument in the future!

10. When my child was bullied in the upper grades at school, I enrolled him in a taekwondo class.

My wife looked at me eagerly and said that she wanted to do a few tricks with me.

She told me the rules in advance: I was not allowed to use my fists, I was not allowed to use my palms, I was not allowed to use my elbows, I was not allowed to use my knees, I was not allowed to use my legs, I was not allowed to block, I was not allowed to dodge, I was not allowed to dodge...

Last one, when she called, I was not allowed to touch her with a bone-heavy part, it would hurt!

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #