A childhood playmate, far away from Anhui, a few years ago with a son and a daughter in the adoptive mother's home settled, the birth mother is also very supportive, and then her husband also came back together, but this year I heard the news of her divorce, I did not feel surprised to hear.
She and my aunt are from a village, I often went to my aunt's house to play when I was a child, so I knew each other since I was a child, and then we went to the same junior high school, the school is close to my aunt's house, so in junior high school, I often go to my aunt's house to rub rice, my aunt usually makes something delicious, I will also ask her to bring it to me, and we have slowly become playmates.
My aunt once told me that her parents were not her parents, she had picked them up, and I was surprised! Fortunately, her adoptive parents only had one child, so as if she were biological, she actually had a better life when she was a child than other siblings in the village.
After graduating from junior high school, she went to work, we rarely saw her, and if I came home in the New Year, I would talk to my aunt about her.
One year, my aunt told me that she was working outside to know a man from Anhui, and then she married that man and had a son and a daughter.
After a few years, I heard that she could not get along with her mother-in-law in Anhui, and returned to her adoptive parents in Jiangxi with a son and a daughter, and her adoptive parents were very supportive, and later she also recognized her own biological parents, and her biological parents were also very good to her, and there were many helpers in life.
After a few years, with the help of her adoptive parents and birth parents, she built a two-story building of her own in the village of her adoptive parents, the foundation was given by her adoptive parents, usually she would go to town to do something to make money, her adoptive parents would help her with her children, her husband worked in Shanghai, and the New Year's Festival also came back to her side.
I was also married far away, at that time I was in an uncomfortable situation, listening to her, I was very envious, and I wanted to take my son back to my hometown to build a house of my own!
This year, my aunt suddenly told me that she was divorced, and I don't know the specific reason, anyway, the child is still with her, and her life has not changed much.
I wasn't surprised to hear the news!
In a situation like hers, she was far from adapting to marrying and returning to her hometown alone with her children, when she actually did not have any expectations for her marriage, and only wanted to live the life she was accustomed to.
I am also far married, I know the bitterness of far marriage, the girl after the far marriage has no relatives and friends around, there is no way back in the face of things, the old will think about where to bury their bones in the future?
For parents, it is usually difficult to see, there is a place that needs help, you can't do it, you are particularly ashamed; and if you want to do something, it is difficult to find people around to help, because brothers and sisters and friends can't come to you at any time, and the husband's side is really unfamiliar.
If the husband is good to you and has the ability, the woman may still be able to live smoothly; if the husband is not good, then she must become very capable, what she can do what she wants, such as wanting to go home at any time, and the parents can do their part when they need it; otherwise, they can't change their situation, and many people have to leave in despair.
Through observation, I found that the divorce rate of long-distance marriage is higher, in fact, the important reason is not the depth of feelings, but the various life and psychological problems caused by distance.
My brother married a foreigner, I married a foreigner, and in those years, either my sister-in-law was divorced, or I was divorced, and my father frightened me into calling me and my brother every day.
When I came home for the New Year, my brother and I exchanged regrets about marrying far away, and my little uncle listened to it very much and did not understand it, thinking that it was because of bad feelings, and we said the same answer with feelings: it has nothing to do with feelings, it has to do with distance.
My brother later bought a house in Shandong where he opened a factory and settled down, my sister-in-law did not make much trouble, settling there is equivalent to my brother "marrying far away", and also gave her a house, she also made a fuss! It was my brother who made trouble.
I did not leave the back, mainly because I was reluctant to leave my son, afraid that her little mother was pitiful, in fact, when I was desperate, I also thought fiercely, go home to go on a blind date, anyway, divorced at home is also worth the same money, take the gift money to start a business, have another child, and continue to live your life in your hometown.
But looking back, can having another child replace my previous child? Can I not be held accountable for him for this? The answer, of course, is no, in order not to leave a grudge, you can only choose to change yourself.
To this end, I have made a lot of attempts, from the indoor petty bourgeois life to the outdoor "storm", slowly I saw the law of money flow in the market, saw a variety of different lifestyles, but also saw more possibilities of their own, learn to think independently, become brave and strong! I don't seem to be so afraid of my future in a foreign country.
During this period, I occasionally stopped to look at the man next to me, after marrying his wife and having children, he just wanted to live a leisurely life of drinking and chatting in his hometown, and I was no longer desperate! Because I was my own hope, I just said to him lightly: "When your friends have bought a house and you still have nothing, how long will they play with you?" ”
I don't know if this sentence stung him, or because of others, since then he began to work hard, only then did he have his current small achievements, our lives continue to develop in a good direction, the life of long marriage let me see more hope, and my heart slowly settled.
Marrying far away is really a test for us, but as long as we work hard, we can also harvest our own happiness.
If you are also married far away, you will want to do what choices to adapt, welcome to leave a message in the comment area ~
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