1. The third aunt was hit by a Bentley on the road and became a vegetative person, and the owner lost more than 6 million yuan. After the third uncle got the money, he immediately got along with a 25-year-old flight attendant. Two people now

1. The third aunt was hit by a Bentley on the road and became a vegetative person, and the owner lost more than 6 million yuan. After the third uncle got the money, he immediately got along with a 25-year-old flight attendant. Now the two have been dating for more than half a year and plan to have a wedding. The flight attendant's parents said: Then the bride price is set at 600,000! The third uncle also agreed, and on the day of the engagement, the third uncle looked at both families with a dowry of 600,000 yuan: Isn't this dowry money from our family? Why do your parents also have 600,000? The flight attendant said with special grievance: My mother said that I married you to accumulate eight lifetimes of virtue, and you married me to pour eight lifetimes of mold, and the bride price can not let you out.

2. There is a young woman in the unit who is divorced, when she leaves work this night, she secretly stuffed a card for me, I walked to the place where no one was, it was a hotel room card. My heart skipped a beat, and I thought to myself, is this the legendary peach blossom luck? At this moment, the boss stopped me and told me to make a plan, which I would have tomorrow morning. I was resentful, but there was no way, who made her my boss? The boss Shi Shiran left the company, I thought for a moment, and found another female colleague, Ame, who has strong business ability, and if she is asked to help me do this plan, it will definitely be no problem. Ame smiled and said, is there a date at night? I smiled and said nothing, Ame nodded and said, if you want me to work overtime to help you, you give me two thousand yuan. I didn't say a word, and directly transferred two thousand yuan to her. She patted me on the shoulder and said, you go, the plan is handed over to me.

3. I found that the university was not very peaceful during this time, and there was a new project that needed to be clarified by the sociology research team. Their new question is: Why do so many successful men have lovers? Is it that successful men can't stand up to confusion? After a full year of survey sampling and anonymous interviews, they finally came to a conclusion. In fact, men can hardly stand to be confused, but women rarely confuse unsuccessful men.

4. When my daughter-in-law visited RT-Mart, she bought a little pork belly. When I got home and made braised pork, it tasted so good that I ate a lot and my son ate two pieces. As a result, my son accidentally dropped a piece on the ground, and I told my son not to want it and threw it in the trash. My wife was angry: I cook so hard, why did you throw it away like this? Pick it up and rinse it with hot water and eat it. Then my wife picked up the meat and rinsed it with hot water and put it in my bowl, and I was so touched.

5. My wife said she would surprise me and said she would know when I got home from work at night. I was looking forward to going home, but I was stunned when I saw her. She cut her hair short and became more grandfatherly than I was! The next day, we played games in the bedroom. My father-in-law shouted in the living room: "You two come out and introduce you to my old friend." We came to the living room together, and the couple was in the eyes of his friend, two big masters. He asked my father-in-law in surprise: You didn't say that you were a daughter.........

6. The pregnant wife wants to eat hairy crab, and I don't stop sanding towards the seafood market. The uncle who sold hairy crabs took a room scale and weighed it, immediately took it down, and said that he wanted 138 pieces. But I could clearly see 135 blocks on the scale. Anxious to go home to get food for his daughter-in-law, he did not argue with the uncle, so he took 150 yuan to the uncle. Uncle actually found 25 yuan, I think God opened his eyes, took the money and hurried away. When I got home, I gave myself a slap because the hairy crab forgot to take it!

7． Having dinner with the newly recruited beautiful summer worker, I suddenly remembered the handsome guy who interviewed with her. So I asked: Beauty, what about the little brother who came to the interview with you before? Sister: He didn't do an interview. I wonder: you are all interviewed, how can he not be interviewed? If I hadn't hurriedly lowered my head, I guess the girl's eyes would have killed me...

8． Today, Mr. Xiaoming and I took our customers to eat hot pot together, and when we were on the road, this customer put a fart, and the smell was very peculiar. This came to the hot pot restaurant, this customer let us choose the bottom of the pot, Xiaoming always chose a light. After this customer left, I asked Mr. Xiaoming: Mr. Xiaoming, don't you usually like to eat spicy, why did you choose such a light pot bottom today? Xiaoming always said: This customer put a fart on the road, I smelled of hemorrhoid cream, so I chose a light ah! So later, our company got the order...

9. On national day holidays, Bentley took me on a road trip. As a result, after getting on the highway, there was a traffic jam all the way and I couldn't move. I saw that my husband was also tired, so I said: Otherwise you can rest for a while, I just got my driver's license, I'll open it for you for a while. As soon as I finished speaking, I saw that my husband sat up straight. Then he gritted his teeth and said: Wife, I don't need you to drive, I'm not tired, I'm in a special spirit now.

10． The wife accidentally saw that her husband had a "wife" stored in her mobile phone, but the number was not her. She didn't want a divorce, so she called back to her husband behind her back, hoping to save the relationship. When the phone was connected, the voice of a stout, mature male uncle came, and she cried, feeling that she had been deceived more seriously. But what she didn't know was that there was another class of people in the world, and their surname was Po.

11. When the little uncle worked in a massage parlor, he was attracted by a 50-year-old rich woman. After marriage, the little uncle was often gossiped about because he ate soft rice, and he wanted to prove himself by selling color and drifting overnight. Once he bought a lottery drift, he finally won the lottery, and it was the first prize! At the moment of knowing that he won the lottery, the little uncle did not inquire about the amount of the prize to collect the prize, but took his wife and children, booked a ticket, flew to travel around, and spent more than 100,000 yuan. After returning to collect the prize, I learned that the number of winners in the current period was large, and the prize money was only more than 19,000?

#Funny paragraph # #搞笑 #