1, the father sent a message: "Girl, the money transferred to you last time, give me a transfer, I am useful." "I was stunned, because Dad was very slow to type, usually in voice, so it was definitely not

1, the father sent a message: "Girl, the money transferred to you last time, give me a transfer, I am useful." I was stunned, because Dad was very slow to type, usually it was voice, so this was definitely not Dad, so I turned five blocks over, and then said, "That's it?" Me: "Dad, you forgot, you didn't give me money at all, you didn't have money to spend it, you told me, I gave it to you." At this time, there was a voice sent over there, clicked to listen, and my mother's voice came from inside: "Girl, come home early from work today, have a big dinner with your father, I pay...

2. My sister-in-law is pregnant, and I am very happy. Today my sister-in-law sent me a message saying that she wanted to eat cherries and asked me to buy her something to send. I immediately drove to the cherry orchard in the mountains to pick fresh cherries, and at the entrance of the cherry orchard, I saw a grandfather of fifty or sixty years old squatting in the doorway crying. I went over and asked, "Uncle, what's wrong with you?" Who bullied you? Uncle said, "I broke the bowl at home, and they didn't let me eat!" As soon as I heard the fire, I came up: "What! There are such children! When I wanted to continue, a ninety-year-old grandfather suddenly came out of the corner, and the grandfather pointed to the uncle next to me and said, "You little bunny cub hurry up and give me home, don't squat there and shame people!" ”

3, the current child is too powerful, as a kindergarten teacher said that they can't bear it! Xiaomei is a kindergarten teacher, today there is a new student in the kindergarten, his mother especially told him to eat only two bowls of rice at noon. Xiaomei is still wondering if other children can eat a bowl of almost the same, this is really strange, afraid that her children can't eat? When it came to lunch, Xiaomei realized that she was wrong... After the child ate 4 bowls, he also grabbed other children's rice bowls...

4, I have been doing sales for three years, the salary is 2,000 yuan, and I have not risen for so many years. Me: "Boss, ask yourself if it's time to give me a raise!" Boss: "How long has this been done?" President's salary. Me: "I put ugly words in front of me, and I resigned without raising my salary!" Boss: "So let's both take a step back from the sea and the sky?" Me: "Okay! Boss: "If you don't resign, I won't give you a salary increase." Me: "Thank you so much!" ”

5. I have been friends with my daughter-in-law for three years, and I was discovered by my daughter-in-law who came back from an early business trip on a date. My daughter-in-law wanted to kill me, but for the sake of the child, she let me break off relations with her girlfriend. I drank some wine in frustration, but found that there was not enough wine, so I asked my son to go to the supermarket to buy it. The son said doubtfully: Isn't there still some wine in the bottle? Me: Too little. After a while, the son returned with a wine bottle filled with stones. The son said triumphantly: Daddy, this is how the crows in the trees drink water.

6. My wife has been pregnant for several months, and the family has been very happy. Today my wife suddenly got upset and kept going to the toilet. The man said with concern: You have been in the toilet for so long, where is it uncomfortable? Mrs. : It doesn't matter, it's just a bit diarrhea. The man suddenly shouted: Baby, grasp the rope in your mother's belly, don't let your mother pull you out. "

7, I have a bad problem with drinking recently, once I drink too much, my pants are always wet after waking up. My daughter-in-law always advised me: "Quit, what a shame!" "I think it's also, such an adult, still peeing his pants, no face to see people." So, intermittently began to quit drinking, yesterday, the class reunion, did not hold, a little more drink. Dangling to the house, he planted his head on the small bed in the back room. Unlike in the past, this time, I felt that the sky was spinning so much that I couldn't sleep, and I simply lay motionless with my eyes closed. After a while, I felt that someone had entered the house, and I was too lazy to open my eyes, and after a while, I didn't feel anything wrong, I opened my eyes suddenly, and then I saw that my daughter-in-law was holding the child's small bottle, carefully pouring water on my pants...

8, I am the shortest of the three sisters. This Time I returned to my hometown for the New Year, and found that my nephew, who was only sixteen years old, had reached a height of 181 centimeters!? Today he ran to my front stop, laughing at Mimi and saying to me, "Oh, I'm so much taller than my aunt!?" My sister couldn't look at it anymore and jumped up to give the baby a slap. Then yelled at him, "Taller than what!? Have the ability to compare weight with your aunt!?"

9. My brother's family was demolished, and he became a rich man overnight, driving a Rolls-Royce Phantom and wearing a Rolex watch on his hand. On weekends, my brother took me out to play. In the highway service area, I saw my ex-girlfriend selling drinks on the side of the road, so I said to my brother: Brother, she dumped me in the first place, you got off the car at the front corner and waited for me, I drove back to install a handful in front of her!! Then I drove the Rolls-Royce to my ex-girlfriend's booth, got out of the car and said: "Come two bottles of water!" Hey, how are you?? My ex-girlfriend was obviously surprised to see me. She stared at the luxury car next to me and said: "I haven't seen you for a long time, it's a good mix!" After some greetings, I took the float. But, damn, I habitually sat in the co-pilot!!?

10, the brother-in-law went on a blind date, each other are quite satisfied, after the meal the two walked out of the restaurant, suddenly a cold wind blew, the girl sneezed several times in a row. The girl looked at the clothes handed over by her brother-in-law and said with embarrassment: "This is not good." The brother-in-law smiled and said, "It's all right, you take it!" The girl said, "Then I'm not welcome." Then he took it and blew his nose and said, "Thank you, how do you know I didn't bring a tissue, you're so nice." The brother-in-law took the snot-stained clothes and stood in the cold wind in a circle.

11, I have a sister who is two years younger than me, when she was young, she turned over my school bag, very seriously looked at my notes, I said with an old face: Is it completely incomprehensible. You'll be exposed to it in a few years. My sister nodded as if she understood, and then obediently asked me: Brother, can you borrow this notebook from me? When I was questioning, my sister said: My teacher said that I can't find anyone uglier than my writing, and tomorrow I will show my teacher to see if she is convinced.

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