1. One day five years ago, my sister was beaten by my brother-in-law, and my sister cried and went back to her mother's house. When my dad found out, he got up and said to my mom: You comfort your daughter, I'll go out. Then my dad had red eyes

1. One day five years ago, my sister was beaten by my brother-in-law, and my sister cried and went back to her mother's house. When my dad found out, he got up and said to my mom: You comfort your daughter, I'll go out. Then my father went to my brother-in-law's house with red eyes and said to my brother-in-law: If my daughter does anything wrong in the future, you will beat me, because I did not educate her well. After saying that he was ready to kneel, he was pulled up by my brother-in-law, and he slapped himself with tears and said: Dad, I'm sorry, I was wrong. Until now, I had never heard of my brother-in-law beating my sister.

2, now the concept of love between men and women is different, every time I come home my mother will ask me: girlfriend, how is it, have you found a boyfriend? I said, "Mom, how is it so easy?" Now I just stand in front of the vending machine and can't find my favorite drink. And now the boy is standing in the Sahara Desert and saying that there is no such thing as nothing! I don't know what's going on here. Obviously a lot of people are looking for someone...

3. Remember when our company has just graduated from a small fresh meat. So the girlfriend said to the new fresh meat: "Handsome man, my ex-boyfriend, do you want to be my boyfriend transfer!" "Later, when they got married, I thought it was good to take the initiative, and my girlfriend was a success story." So I found a colleague who was pleasing to the eye to confess: "Handsome guy I want to be my ex-boyfriend, do you want to be my boyfriend..." Later he questioned me: "You lied, they have been separated for half a year, and I have not been prosperous..."

4, the brother-in-law has a smoking addiction and smokes, so he went to the supermarket downstairs to buy a box of Chinese. As a result, when the cigarette box was unpacked, the cigarette box was accidentally torn, so it was replaced by a cigarette box of 5 pieces of red gold dragon. At the evening class reunion, the brother-in-law handed the class a cigarette. Ban Hua took a look at the 10-dollar cigarette, a bit of a look of contempt, but still lit it. After smoking for a while, Ban Hua couldn't help it and said: "Oh, still smoke me!" Then Ban Hua took out a box of Chinese, smoked and said: This smoke is much more comfortable! The brother-in-law thought to himself: It seems that her smoking addiction is not big enough!?

5, the mother-in-law is an old professor who has more than 10,000 pensions after retirement, and she feels bored at home every day. I used this money to get a fruit cart and sell it at the market every day. Recently, our company has not paid wages for two months, just now the mother-in-law ran to the boss's office in a huff and said: Why don't you pay wages? The boss was stunned: Big Mom, you don't seem to be my employee, do you have to do with whether I pay or not? The mother-in-law came angrily: You don't pay a salary, no one buys my fruit, do you say there is any relationship?

6. A few years ago, my cousin was sitting in Starbucks resting, and a guy with a good figure came over and asked: Are you introduced by Aunt Wang to go on a blind date? The cousin looked up at her, it was the type he liked, and thought why not make a mistake. So, Busy promised: Yes, please sit. Later, the two of them were together, and on their birthday, her cousin told her that he was not going on a blind date. My sister-in-law smiled and said, "I'm not going on a blind date either, I'm just looking for an excuse to talk to you."

7. In the afternoon, I went to pick up my little nephew, and he said hello to the teacher and ran to me quickly. The little nephew asked: Uncle, which of the two female teachers at the door do you think is beautiful today? At that time, I was very happy in my heart, and my little nephew actually worried about me!! I quickly replied to him: That tall teacher is more beautiful!! Then the nephew shook his head and said: Uncle, no, who is asking you later, you want to say that they are all beautiful, you know?? I nodded blankly...

8, my girlfriend invested 600,000 yuan in me, so I opened a pet store, and today there was a customer who wanted to buy parrots. I said, "You didn't come at the right time, the parrot was bought two days ago, or you should buy a woodpecker." Customer: "Can woodpeckers talk too?" Me: "Woodpeckers are smarter and more practical than parrots and can type. ”

9. After layers of selection, I became a life assistant to the billionaires. There is a subsidy of 500,000 per month, and the requirement is to take care of the food and living of the rich. Yesterday, the rich man handed me a Hillton room card and said to me: Eating and living, living is the most important! My mind was very confused, and I didn't know what was going on in the rich man's heart. I could only hand over the room card to his wife and say to her: Tonight, the owner will ask you to meet in room 520 of the Hillton Hotel, invite you to dinner and have a very pleasant night!

10, V letter, a stranger greeted me: I like you, do you have a boyfriend? I categorically refused: I have a boyfriend! Stranger: I'm your dad and I want to talk to you. The next day, there was another stranger: I like you, do you have a boyfriend? With yesterday's lesson, I said: I don't have a boyfriend! Other party: I'm your boyfriend, you don't like me anymore! Me: I'm sorry, I thought it was my dad who made me whole. Other party: It turns out that what your father said is true, I am your mother!

11, the tea room I brewed a good tonic (blood gas), often stolen to drink, check can not find out who, the group also said useless... So I secretly added pepper noodles and chili powder into it, trying to catch the stolen drinks, and then I generously went to the workshop and walked around to see it, and sure enough, it was poured out. I went back to the office, wanted to see which one was recruited, actually no one was recruited, very depressed to pick up the cup to drink water, the result was spicy to the sky, the mouth was swollen into a Donald duck, just want to scold who cheated me... At this time, the front desk ran over to me and said: *Sister, just now I saw that the cleaning aunt wants to clean the tea set and pour out your tonic, I will pour you a cup.

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