1. On the second day of the wedding, the groom's official happily closed his mouth. I secretly asked, "Is it the bride who is as beautiful as a heavenly immortal, and let your boy pick up the treasure?" The bridegroom: "What, it's my wife's."

1. On the second day of the wedding, the groom's official happily closed his mouth. I secretly asked, "Is it the bride who is as beautiful as a heavenly immortal, and let your boy pick up the treasure?" The groom's official: "What, my wife's ex-boyfriends are too generous, let me make a lot of money." I wondered, "What do you mean?" Groom official: "My wife's ex-boyfriends came to drink happy wine, one red packet per person, one red packet 3,000, a total of more than 100,000 yuan, more than the sum of all the relatives in my family' red packets." I'm so happy, I'm a real ex-boyfriend. Me: "Congratulations congratulations..."??

2. My family is the poorest family in the village, in order to let me go to school, my brother worked very early. Later, I lived up to expectations and was admitted to one of the top universities. When I stepped into the school gate, I secretly swore that I must study hard, find a good job, and then repay my brother! I graduated four years later and got a job with $5,000 a month and a rent of $3,000. And my brother ran a pig farm in his hometown, last year's pork was more than 40 pounds, and my brother earned 10 million!

3, this day I was climbing the mountain, smoke addicts, the wilderness can not buy, so crouched on the side of the road to think about the car to borrow a cigarette. A Mercedes came in the distance, and as soon as I reached out, I stopped. Me: Big brother, the addiction is coming, can you give me a cigarette? The eldest brother took a bag of Nanjing Nine-Five for me, and I opened and smoked a few. I took a 100 yuan to the owner and said thank you ha. Big Brother: Do I look like I'm selling cigarettes? You mean to say you're rich, right? Smoke sent you! After saying that, throw the money out of the window and leave!

4. After the college entrance examination, I asked my father for money to go to the mobile phone store to buy a latest mobile phone. Dad directly rejected me, saying that I would earn it myself. In desperation, he went to the construction site to run to his cousin, and followed his cousin to tie steel bars at the construction site. After returning to the dormitory to eat after the evening meal, my cousin suddenly came in and said: Go! Bro, go out and eat! I was so happy that I threw the food in the trash and went out with my cousin. Who knows the cousin sat in the doorway and said: It's hot in the house, how cool it is to eat outside!

5. In order to realize his dream, Xiao Li disregarded the obstruction of his family to learn crosstalk. He wanted to worship a brother in the cross-talk industry, Brother, as a teacher, so he probed the mouth of Brother through his agent. Agent: "Brother Anus, there is a young man named Xiao Li, the foundation of crosstalk is very good, I want to worship you as a teacher, how do you feel about ??? Brother Anus: "How does it look??? Agent: "Tall, handsome, sunny!!! brother: Don't !!! "Agent: "............"

6. After getting married, I usually cook at home. Yesterday my wife actually made dinner and burned sauerkraut fish, which tasted excellent. I ate a lot, but she didn't eat it, saying, "I don't want to eat." "She went online after dinner, and I quietly approached to see what she was doing, and saw her typing the word sauerkraut on the web page. I thought to myself, "My wife is so nice, I must be trying to learn how to cook it better, right?" Then I saw her continue typing: "Sauerkraut has grown hair, what will happen when you eat it?" ”

7. I dropped out of school during the rebellious period of high school, and my parents thought I was incompetent and threw me out of the house. In order to survive, I went to work as a waiter at a KTV, and the 45-year-old female boss fell in love with me at first sight. The landlady gave me a Porsche Cayenne in pursuit of me, and I immediately agreed. After a few months of dating, I wanted to meet her family, but she never agreed. Last week we were walking together in the mall, and on the street she suddenly told me that her family was not far in front of me and asked me to take a quick detour. I thought at the time that I could just take this opportunity to show my face, so I didn't bypass it. If her husband hadn't been there, I think this meeting would have been a great success.

8, stay at home during this time, everything is not normal, every day is to eat, watch TV, sleep. Basically, they don't get up until ninety o'clock in the morning, eat a meal at eleven o'clock in the afternoon, and eat a second meal at three or four o'clock in the afternoon. Eating the third meal at ninety o'clock, there is no concept of morning, middle and evening. So the children will tell their wives: Mom, what do we want to eat when we eat a meal! What do you want to eat for two meals, and what you want to eat for three meals!

9, daughter-in-law on business, just called to ask where I am. Me: I write at home. Daughter-in-law: I left a sandwich on the coffee table that I often eat, and you go and tear open the bag and let me hear if it sounds right. It's a spy plot, but I'm really at home! After doing as required, I: What's next? Daughter-in-law: Knowing that you will definitely not eat when you are busy, eat it quickly.

10. On this day, the brothers drove Maybach with 5 Chinese cigarettes, a box of Moutai wine plus 1 million to their girlfriend's house to propose to relatives. Since it was the first time, the buddies were nervous, and the girlfriend called her phone to tell her that all her family members were there today. So the brothers carefully rang the doorbell, the door opened, is a beautiful young woman, buddy think about it, open their mouths and say: Sister hello, I am Xiaomei's boyfriend. Ran Hand Beautiful Young Woman smiled elegantly: Young man, good, have vision, come in. As soon as they entered the door, they heard their girlfriend's voice: Mom, is he coming...

11. Went to the hospital with my girlfriend and found that I was two months pregnant. I wanted to report good news to my husband, but the phone was out of power, so I had to borrow my girlfriend's mobile phone to send him a text message: I am pregnant. After the successful sending, I remembered that there was no signature, and I just wanted to resend my husband and replied: Honey, really? Where are you now? I'll pick you up!

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #