1, today with female colleagues to drive out of the office, see a mountain in the distance in the winter full of snow, from a distance, a silver, the scenery is beautiful. So I asked my sister if she wanted to go up the mountain to see the scenery

1, today with female colleagues to drive out of the office, see a mountain in the distance in the winter full of snow, from a distance, a silver, the scenery is beautiful. So I asked my sister, do you want to go up the mountain to see the scenery? The sister said that there is no cornfield on the mountain, so don't go and don't go!

2, walking at night, the sister's family with their sheepdogs. When I bought oranges, it stopped my brother-in-law and told him to wait. He came over and bit my pant leg and dragged it forward. I came and went a few times and I was angry. Sister said, isn't this a sheepdog? There is no sheep in my family, it has been living by shepherding us since childhood, you will start from it...

3) A true romantic proposal should look like this: A personable man invites 10 colleagues to dinner, including his favorite sister. Halfway through the meal, he suddenly stood up and walked to his sister's side, and then moved the chair where his sister was sitting 90 degrees to face himself, and at this moment, her sister's mouth was full of all kinds of food... At this time, he suddenly took out 4 yuan of money from his pocket and said: "This is a deposit of 40,000 yuan, are you willing to marry me?" The sister was immediately stunned, tears of excitement came out of her eyes, she whimpered and pulled out the money detector, and after a moment said: "These are true - I do!"

4, a girl in the factory, usually have a good relationship, like to mess with me, often jump up and mess up my hair. That time, I was trained by my supervisor for overtime at night, and I was in a bad mood. When I got to the factory gate, I met the girl again, and she messed up my hair as usual. I got angry and chased after her, and she giggled and ran to the cul-de-sac on the right side of the factory entrance. In the dark corner of the cul-de-sac, I grabbed her, and she turned back, her face flushed. I stepped forward and hugged her........., then..., and then an over-the-shoulder fall, and with a thud, she fell heavily to the ground. The next day, she quit her job and left...

5, new year to visit grandma, grandma is a little heavy ear, grandma according to good habits in the wood stove for me simmered sweet potatoes, I ate two. Half an hour later, a series of uncontrolled farts came out of the door, and in the midst of embarrassment, my grandmother poked me: Quick! fast! Your fourth uncle came back on a motorcycle, go open the door...

6, when passing by the male god's seat today, I suddenly found that he was listening to a song that I loved to listen to, and I instantly felt that the fate was so wonderful, and I quickly smiled: Wow, I also love to listen to this song, such an unpopular song, not a special fate will not be so coincidental, right? The male god squinted at me: You even love to listen to this song, it seems that it is time to delete it!

7, we have a man in the office, who treats people like women. Today in the restaurant he held chopsticks with his orchid finger, and after eating, he shook his ass and left. My friend asked me, "This man is from your department, why is he like this?" I said, "You don't know this, this person is the mother!" He looked back at me, so I continued, "This person is Mom, this person gave me life..."

8, come home from work, hear my cousin muttering something in the room, vaguely hear "don't cry, I will be responsible for you and so on." Wondering if his cousin had bullied which little girl he had failed, he pushed the door in decisively, only to find that his cousin was talking to himself alone in the room, and Satsuma was also cowering in the corner next to him with a frightened face...

9, when I was 18 years old, my mother was busy helping me with blind dates. "You see this girl named Xiaohua, not only is she beautiful, but she is also honest, and she will definitely live a life in the future..." I burst through the door in anger, "Look at my handsome appearance, are you still worried about not being able to find a daughter-in-law", my mother shook her head continuously, until five years later, I understood my mother's good intentions, "Mother, once the girl named Xiaohua, do you see that you can still contact now?" ”。

10, the second uncle always told me a truth: Sai Weng lost his horse and knew that it was not a blessing! He said that he was very poor in those years, raised a few ducks with the only money he had left, and one morning he got up to find that the ducks had been stolen, and he was sullen, and when he looked back, a gold bracelet fell on the ground, and he bit it with his teeth

11, a friend at the gas station to work, one day, an old man riding a battery three wheel straight to the gas station. Friends wonder. Battery cars do not need to be refueled. Also didn't bring a bucket. Can't buy oil to take away. When the friend was wondering, the old man calmly patted his leg. Say, cao! Riding the wrong bike for ,,, ten minutes later. The old man changed a motorcycle and came back in three wheels,

12, the winter solstice, the last solar term in 2020. As the saying goes, the winter solstice is as big as the year, and each place has its own eating habits, the north eats dumplings and wontons, and the south eats rice balls and long-line noodles. It is believed that this day is an auspicious day, indicating that it is not a sign of The Coming of the Pole.

13, and the daughter-in-law because she often buys some impractical things online quarreled, the son saw the situation, he planned to open the door to go out, I asked him "why do you go out?" He replied, "It's all right, you go on, I'll go out and hide, save myself the pond fish, as far as your daughter-in-law is concerned, she definitely doesn't dare to hit you, I can't say for sure", er...

14. At Tsujiao University, due to the small number of science classes in military training, the school unanimously discussed and let them join other classes. In the end, the lottery was decided to be drawn to train with the art students. But there was a brother who was smelly and beautiful, always pressed the brim of the hat very low, and the instructor asked him to make the hat high, he said that he wanted to be an actor, he couldn't tan, otherwise he wouldn't be photogenic. The instructor asked him if he had to be a professional to be an actor. The dude said: Yes. The instructor said, "Well, I'm going to make you play a sunflower now, and wherever the sun shines, you give me wherever you go." After more than three hours of sunbathing, crying and shouting to find an instructor to never be an actor again...

15, liqiu should also have a sense of ceremony! Today is the autumn, the 13th of the twenty-four solar terms, and the first of autumn. After today, the summer of 2020 will gradually pass us, and the cool autumn is coming. How will your family "nibble autumn" today? What kind of food are you going to eat to "stick to the autumn belly"? Let's talk about it in the comment area