Preface
The "true love" that I don't understand is just "true love", and I can't love but still try to love, and what I bring to everyone is often hurt or even abused.
Everyone is trying to love their children, parents, lovers, and the people around them who they think are important.
But what is love, how to love, how to love is true love, these questions are rarely thought about and pondered deeply.
Slowly, two people who once loved each other deeply entered the married life but became more and more discordant, and slowly the children we once loved with all our strength seemed to be drifting away from us, and slowly we found that we had forgotten the parents who gave birth to us, and only used material giving to comfort our filial piety.
Slowly we find that we have lost our ideals, we slowly find that we have no feelings, and we find that we do not deeply love our motherland and our nation.
What we once had, what we once longed for, what we used to work for, seems to fade out of our lives bit by bit over time, why is all this?
Because we are far from love.
Because we have tried very hard to find a way back, but it seems to be powerless, unable and helpless.
Because we used to "really love", not "true love".
Because we don't understand the "true love" ourselves, just "true love", we don't know how to love but still try to love, and what we bring to everyone is often hurt or even abused.
"True love" is not "true love".
When many people see this sentence, they will think that we are not unloving, but that we do not have methods and skills. Over the years, I have also seen many, many people asking me the same question: "I can't find a way, Mr. Zheng, do you have any good way?"
It seems that "true love" is from the heart for the good of others, it is the "way", and it seems that "true love" is the method and the "technique". In fact, on the contrary, "true love" is not a method or technique, it is a "way", and it requires a person's true vipassana and practice to attain.
How many people think of how many ways are difficult to feel true love and give true love to others, the biggest misunderstanding is that there is no way to "true love", only a sincere heart.
True love without true love is actually "really wanting" and "really afraid", really wanting, producing control, demanding and persistent, really afraid of producing anxiety, depression and madness.
The former is the desire at work, far away from true love, and the latter is the fear that is shrouded and far away from true love. "Really want" and "really afraid" seem to be a person revolving around the person he loves, everything is for the other party, in fact, the superficial giving often covers the purpose of hoping that the person he loves to satisfy his desires, and the person who hopes to love will no longer be afraid of selfishness, in fact, this is not naked on the surface but actually naked exchange and self.
Love gives people no more than two feelings - "warmth" and "strength". You can think about it from another perspective, the person you love, in the process of your love, they feel "warmth" and "strength", if not, then it can be confirmed that you don't know true love, and you don't have the ability to love true. Behind your "true love" lies a deep "really want" and "really afraid". If it's not love, it's taking, I'm afraid it's not love, it's worry. Desire is the abyss, fear is a curse, and it is the source of all negative energy.
Today, because of the feelings of the second phase of Henan students whose names I don't know, I wrote the above text. My job is to make more people feel true love, willing to constantly change themselves, practice themselves, to let themselves have the ability to truly love others, so that there is "true love" in "true love", when I see many people know how to love, the joy in my heart is beyond words, although I may not really know him.
body
Do I know true love, and who have I hurt over the years?
Text: Love and Happiness Family Henan Phase II Students
I haven't kept a diary in years, and I'm a very lazy person. Today, I found the yellowed diary again, patted the thick dust on it, picked up the pen, and wrote down my feelings.
Before participating in Love and Happiness, I was illiterate and knew nothing about love. Every day is just a request, a request, an endless request and demand for parents, lovers, and children. There is no return, and there is no way to know what a return is. It's just that I survived with instinct and pain, didn't find the purpose of life, and lost myself on the way to find the meaning of life.
I am very grateful to God for giving me a chance to change my ways, and on October 20, I participated in the study of "Love and Happiness" with my lover and my lover. At first, I entered the classroom with an attitude of indifference, and I felt very uncomfortable when I saw the "exaggerated" greetings and "warm" hugs of the volunteers.
At this time, a sentence on the projection screen woke me up, "I can't love but love, it's the biggest harm."
I kept asking myself: What is love? Do I understand love? Who have I hurt? I have hurt my relatives, my parents, my lover, my children, they are all the people I should love the most, and the people who should give them happiness the most! Why can't I feel the warmth of home? Every day when I come home, I don't bother to say anything to them, what is the problem?
I want to change, but I don't know how to change my cold home and my own cold heart. Like a puppet every day, go to work, go home, sleep...... Day after day, year after year. I thought that my life would end like this. The heart is painful, life is numb, and every day I wear layers of masks to work perfunctory and perfunctory life.
The Buddha told us to "let go", but what do we let go? Is it to let go of everything and become a monk? How can I let go of my elderly parents? How can I let go of my petite and hard-working lover? How can I let go of my two children who are waiting to be fed? The Buddha is destined to be a person, but I have no relationship with the Buddha!
After listening to Mr. Zheng's class, I realized that the root of all problems lies in myself. Am I really "loved"? I really "wanted" and really "feared". I'm constantly asking my parents, my lover, and my children for "love", but they don't have it. I understood my selfishness and greed, and I saw my own ugliness, the filth of my heart. I understand why I am a person without "love", because my heart is cold, weak and powerless. My education since I was a child made me timid and fearful, taciturn, submissive, without my own thoughts, without my own feelings, and let myself wear myself out in endless vanity.
It was Mr. Zheng who made me see what kind of person I am and pointed me out the way forward, his boundless warmth ignited my dying heart, and his infinite strength pushed me forward. Later, I felt the warmth of my family, but my heart was still depressed, I didn't dare to express myself, I was always afraid that the ice blades in my heart would hurt myself and others, and I tried my best to hide my pain.
During the 30 minutes of challenging myself, I cried out and I cried out loud. My hands were numb, and I was still crying and singing loudly, cheering for my companions and shouting for myself. The countdown was over, and I suddenly found that the dark clouds in my heart had dispersed, and the rainbow was slowly rising after the rain. I finally dare to face the eyes of others, dare to accept the hug of my family, I am no longer afraid of the crowd, I am no longer afraid of everything, I feel that I can face all difficulties calmly, my heart is full of warmth and strength.
The three-day study was soon over, and the wonderful dance of the volunteers infected me, and the song "Thank you" expressed my heart. I want to thank you, dear Teacher Zheng! I want to thank you, my dear family! When I left, our team leader Yuwei gave me a warm hug, and I felt very happy! She is the goddess in my heart! She is full of confidence, sunshine, warmth and strength...... I used to be timid, but I only dared to hide in the corner alone and secretly admire. Extravagant and afraid, the goddess glanced at herself. Now I was finally able to return the favor with a warm hug and say "I love you" loudly!
After the study, I went to Dengfeng to play for a day, and I was very tired by car, but I felt that everyone I met was very friendly, without the fear of strangers, without the feeling of being deceived, and I didn't need to be cautious all the time, and felt the sincerity of others with my own sincerity. As Mr. Zheng said, "touch life with life", I feel the beauty of the world!
When I go to work today, I feel that my mood is different, I am no longer anxious because of trivialities, and I am no longer blamed for the mistakes of young people. Do everything and treat everyone with a warm and powerful heart.
Spread the love and bring happiness home!
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