1, the husband imitates others to set the phone of the little three to 10086, in the middle of the night the little three call, the husband pointed to the caller ID and said: "This damn 10086, but also do not want people to sleep!" ”

1, the husband imitates others to set the phone of the little three to 10086, in the middle of the night the little three call, the husband pointed to the caller ID and said: "This damn 10086, but also do not want people to sleep!" The wife said coldly: "What, mobile is going to go out of business, poor enough to contact Unicom customers?" ”

2. The brother-in-law eloped with an old woman in order to drive a Lamborghini. My sister was particularly upset, so I took her out to play and relax. As a result, after arriving at the playground, my sister was constipated, squatted for half a day without results, and the paper ran out, so we continued to play. Playing happily, my sister suddenly became anxious again, but there was no paper. I flipped left and right, then pulled out a few sheets. As soon as I had a stroke of genius, I asked my sister to give me 100 yuan in exchange. After returning home, the mother punished cooking, washing dishes, sweeping the floor, watching the children, a week!

3. After marriage, I learned that my daughter-in-law was a "Dink" and did not want to have children. I couldn't accept it at all, so I parted ways with her. After a few days of going on a blind date, the other party was a beautiful flight attendant, and her face was full of arrogance. She said, "Let's talk about this today, we are not suitable, this meal AA bar." Me: "Yes. She shouted, "Waiter, pay the bill." Waiter: "Hello, there is a total of 1080 spent here." She said to me, "Okay, then we're 540." I asked the waiter, "Can the discount coupon be used?" Waiter: "Yes." So I took out a 50% discount coupon and handed it to the waiter and said, "She pays for the rest." ”

4. In order to let me get a copy, my father sent me to the provincial key middle school to study. There was a final exam, and the male teacher in the class was particularly domineering. He spoke a pure local dialect that I didn't understand a word! During the exam came a girl, a handbag, a hand to drink. The male invigilator asked, "Are you here to go shopping or to take the exam?" The woman said weakly, "I'm sorry, I'm here to proctor the exam..."

5. After work, I saw my cousin standing with a very ugly-looking woman, and my cousin looked twisted and pinched uncomfortably. I rushed forward and whispered to my cousin, "Is this your girlfriend?" Looks like... It's okay! Don't look uncomfortable! Put aside the worldly vision, let it go! The younger brother said, "Brother, introduce me, this is the girlfriend that your mother introduced to you."

6. When I came home from work today, I passed through a dark alley, and a small couple walked there, walking very slowly. I thought it was too dark for them to go fast, so I let them go at a very slow pace. From time to time they looked at me as if they were grateful, and just like that, I sent them out of the alley. I cheered up to catch up with them and rolled down the window, hoping to get a thank you. I heard the boy scold: You single dog, we both want to find a dark place to fall in love, are you sick!

7, overtime until 1 a.m., hungry enough to buy chutney. Alipay paid, I just paid to let the uncle take a look, the uncle is a little busy. After a while, the chutney powder is good, and the uncle said: You gave me 50, right? I replied evilly: Hmm! Then Uncle Looking for forty-five for me. Me: Uncle I seem to have paid for It! Uncle Turned around and kept saying to those next to him: This young man is good and honest!

8, a brother was dumped by his girlfriend, recently heartbroken, moved the shaved heart of the family. He found a temple and asked the abbot, "Do you know women?" Abbot: "A little bit of knowledge!" He was silent and asked, "Then how can we catch a woman's heart?" Abbot: "For a woman who wants to leave you, you can't keep it with a chain!" He nodded his head in disbelief and asked, "So what to do?" The abbot: "You have to use a gold chain!" ”?

9, sister-in-law opened Maybach to work, usually like to study stocks, some time ago looked at a very good stock! When she decided to buy it with 00,000 in the card, she found that the money was missing! So I got my brother and said, "Where did my 00,000 in my card go?" The brother did not speak and looked at the whiskey on the table, and the sister-in-law yelled: Don't say, then we will be like this bottle of wine in the future... Saying that, my sister-in-law picked up the bottle of whiskey with her bare hands and smashed it on the floor, and my brother said: I spent 00,0000 to buy a treasured good wine, and it was destroyed in your hands!?

10. Recently, I heard that a new gym has been opened in the next community, and the equipment is good and affordable. I looked at my big belly, gritted my teeth, and spent more than two thousand yuan to get an annual card. It's been 10 months now and my figure hasn't changed a bit. I was so upset with this effect that I decided to go over tomorrow and see what was wrong.

11, the first day of the Chinese New Year, the mother-in-law's family invited guests, I cooked, the mother-in-law they played cards, the son came into the kitchen and asked me, "Mother why do you cook?" I replied, "Because my mother is a daughter-in-law and a junior, I have to cook today!" After you get married, the New Year, your daughter-in-law will also go into the kitchen to cook", as a result, the son said "that can't work" I asked him why, he replied "that's my daughter-in-law", I smiled and asked him who cooked? He replied "I do", did his seven-year-old baby hurt his daughter-in-law like this?

12, just now in the elevator downstairs, saw a big mother dragging a small guy not to let go, I was curious to go up to ask the reason, buddy a face of grievance: just now I entered the elevator, suddenly remembered that there is no lock car, it is out of the elevator, this big mother will drag not let me go... The big mother said angrily: "You shout outside, wait, I am kind enough to press the elevator to wait for you, you specially come in and fart and leave, are you such a bully!" ”

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