When I first got married, my husband looked forward to going to bed early in the dark every day, and my wife was very happy every day, but after a long time, I found that my husband was looking forward to the day not getting dark every day. After work

When I first got married, my husband looked forward to going to bed early in the dark every day, and my wife was very happy every day, but after a long time, I found that my husband was looking forward to the day not getting dark every day. After work are very late to come back, the wife thought of a way, stipulated that every day at the latest around 22 o'clock to go home or close the door, this husband is happy, every day back late, anyway can not enter the home, directly do not go home. The wife felt that this was not OK, the friend gave her a trick, changed to 22 o'clock do not go home I opened the door to sleep, this worked, the husband came back early every day.

2, going to school is in the new Oriental science of cooking, cooking is also very delicious. After marrying my daughter-in-law, I personally cooked a spicy chicken, which tasted very delicious, and my daughter-in-law praised it while eating it. Halfway through, there were 6 pieces of chicken on the plate. I watched as my daughter-in-law put 4 pieces into her bowl, and there were 2 pieces left on the plate. Then I heard my daughter-in-law say, "Wow! Honey, you eat really fast, there are only 2 pieces left, so let's have one piece for each of us, right? You eat that big one!

3, I am a cook, just got married when I went to my mother-in-law's house. Every time the mother-in-law cooked how delicious it was, she cooked and let me go to the living room to watch TV. I always say I'll cook, just once at a time. My mother-in-law didn't let me do it, and I didn't do it, and I obeyed more and went more often. Or which link has a problem, and then go back, I just say I'll cook. She would say, "Great, try your craft, and I'll be her chef from now on!" Which link is the problem?

4, boys should fantasize about what it would be like if they were born in ancient times and became emperors. I'm certainly no exception. Yesterday on vacation, my wife was making lunch, and I watched the costume drama on TV for a while and fell into a reverie. Imagining his own situation in the early dynasty, he was suddenly interested, so he posed as an emperor and shouted, "The emperor has arrived." Then asked his wife, "Like that?" My wife ignored it, and I asked again, "Like it?" The wife helplessly coped with a sentence: "Like." I smiled and said, "Where is it like?" Temperament like? Acting like? The wife gave him a blank look and said, "Shout like that!" "

5, this evening just finished washing up to the window, remembering that the beautiful colleague may not have eaten, immediately called her to ask: have you eaten dinner at night. The female colleague replied: Did not eat. Me: Well, I'll pick you up and have a supper with you. Female colleague said: Just eat supper? Will you send me back for dinner?" Me: Yeah, it's about having a supper and sending you back as soon as you're done. Female colleague: If you send me back, then don't go, waste my time. I don't want to go out and talk about how much time it takes to eat a supper.

6, met my ex-wife on the street, I want to find her reunion, and then invite her to dinner. When we came to the hot pot restaurant, I looked at the 156 yuan on my phone and said to her, "I'm not hungry, don't you want more!" As a result, she ordered 356 yuan, the compound thing or forget it, and finally gritted her teeth and said: "Let's AA!" The ex-wife took out 178 yuan, and when I saw that my money was still not enough, I said with a clever move: "Pay according to how much you eat!" "I didn't eat a bite, so my ex-wife paid for it all." Before leaving, my ex-wife suddenly asked me: "I hate me so much, I don't want to invite a meal..." I smiled darkly and bitterly, not that I didn't want to please, who let you order more than 156 yuan.

7, today the rich man asked the abbot to go to the KTV Hi Pi together, and said that he stayed a few very correct girls. The abbot farted and went, but the girl was very cold, and she had been playing with her mobile phone since the abbot just came in. The abbot could not resist the restless heart, and then took the initiative to go up to talk, and the girl still played with her head down. The abbot sat next to her and waited until her phone was running out of battery. When the abbot thought he had a chance, the girl took a charging treasure out of her bag!

8, the company's annual experience, the doctor actually said I am color blind! To prove myself, I went to the hospital again for a check-up. I said to the doctor: The physical examination said that I was colorblind, and you gave me a book to read. Then I figured out the differences. I smiled and said, "I can see it." The doctor said lightly: Only color blindness can see this!

#Funny# #搞笑段子 #