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With the changes in society and the development of science and technology, the Internet has now been officially popularized, and people have gradually become accustomed to the life of the Internet everywhere.
In this era of a smart phone, WeChat has become the mainstream APP for instant communication, and people can use it to contact friends and family, and they can also use it to complete work business.
In addition to these necessary functions, WeChat also has two functions, one is to block and the other is to delete. Blacklisting means pulling into the blacklist, which is a reversible operation, you can either drag it into the blacklist and remove it again.
However, deletion is an irreversible operation, once you delete the other party, you can only re-add the other party if you want to contact them.
Have you ever been blacklisted? How do you feel when you suddenly find yourself on someone else's blacklist? How do you rate the person who blacked you out? In your opinion, is this really your own problem, or is it because the other person's emotional intelligence is too low?
In modern society, emotional intelligence has become a hot topic, as early as the last century, everyone did not have this concept, if you want to praise a person with high emotional intelligence, most of them are sociable, can talk and so on. However, in the past 20 years, the word emotional intelligence has rapidly become popular and has become a common perception of the public, at this time, if you want to praise the other party's treatment of people and things more appropriately, it is better to use the three words of high emotional intelligence.
Up to now, all sectors of society believe that emotional intelligence is more important than IQ, iq determines how quickly a person accepts new things, and emotional intelligence is related to emotional management and the ability to deal with the world.
High IQ does not mean high emotional intelligence, the famous psychologist Daniel Gorman once mentioned a classic example in his book, in a middle school in Florida, the United States, a classmate cruelly cut his physics teacher with a kitchen knife, the reason why he made crazy behavior, only because this teacher goodbye Mode evaluation gave him "good", not "excellent".
It is worth mentioning that this classmate's grades are very good, in the eyes of the teachers of all subjects, he is a good student, except for the subject of physics, other subjects have reached excellent standards.
The classmate could not accept that there was a good one in his transcript, because he was worried that it would affect his admission to Harvard University.
Emotional intelligence and IQ are two different abilities, the former on the emotional level and the latter on the intellectual level. IQ refers to a person's intelligence level index, while emotional intelligence refers to emotional IQ level.
IQ is the basis of emotional intelligence, emotional intelligence is the development of IQ, people's understanding of everything is based on IQ, and the progress of emotional intelligence can establish a general direction for the development of IQ, so that IQ continues to advance along the right path.
How should people manage their emotions and improve their emotional intelligence?
If you want to have mature emotional control ability, you must be familiar with your emotions, know where the bottom line and pole are, and recognize emotions require individuals to have self-awareness, that is, when emotions change, they can accurately perceive this.
Legend has it that a Samurai in Japan confronted the abbot and asked him to explain to him the concepts of Elysium and Hell. However, after the abbot listened to the other party's question, he said rudely, what is the way?
The samurai saw that the abbot was unwilling to explain, and said such words, so he was so angry that he wanted to hack the abbot to death, but at this moment, the abbot said lightly, "He is hell."
When the samurai heard this, he immediately threw his sword on the ground and knelt down in front of the abbot to thank the other party for his click, at which time the abbot said, "He is the world of Elysium."
In this question and answer, the samurai's emotional transformation is that self-awareness is at work, and the best way to deal with negative emotions is cognitive therapy, which is also the conventional way to treat mental illness.
The more rational a person is, the more he can control his emotions and become more self-aware.
And if a person is in the process of making friends, because of a little unpleasant thing to block others, then this is definitely a manifestation of low emotional intelligence.
In the era of Internet popularity, the move to pull the other party into the blacklist is a one-size-fits-all approach, which is the sharpest weapon to destroy the relationship between the two.
Some people will make impulsive moves at the pole of anger, and when the temper has passed, they will regret it, if everyone can rationally control their anger, then he will become more and more mature, and from a macro point of view, society can also reduce many unnecessary violent conflicts.
- The End -
Author | Tommy
Edit | Rain
The First Psychological Writing Group | A group of young people who like to look up at the stars
参考资料：Bruk, A., Scholl, S. G., & Bless, H. (2018). Beautiful mess effect: Self–other differences in evaluation of showing vulnerability. Journal of personality and social psychology, 115(2), 192-205