1, the sister-in-law used to work as a waiter in a KTV, earning almost 10,000 a day, and then married an honest person, the two lived a plain life?, but last week, the aunt

1, the sister-in-law used to be a waiter in a KTV, earning almost 10,000 a day, and then married an honest person, the two lived a plain life?, but last week, the sister-in-law's husband was not rescued in a car accident, and the sister-in-law was sad. At the funeral, I whispered to her: How much does the insurance pay?? The sister-in-law replied: At that time, I did not approve of it, and I did not let him buy it. I asked again: How much family property did he leave for you? The sister-in-law cried: Two hundred and thirty million. Two hundred million is: remembrance, memories.? Thirty million: don't take good care of the children, don't take good care of the elderly, don't remarry.

2. After completing my master's degree at Nankai University, I entered the China Southern Power Grid to work. Our manager's son is a returnee who, after returning from abroad, began to frantically pursue a divorced female colleague. The female colleague really couldn't do anything, and directly took me as a shield and told him that I was her boyfriend. As a result, I was fired the same day and had two years more on my bank card. In addition to the joy in my heart, I also feel ashamed of it! Alas, I really wanted to tell him the truth: "Dude, actually, that girl is not my girlfriend, she is your stepmother!" ”

3. Promised my girlfriend that if she did well in the exam, she would take her to the show. On the weekend, I took my four-year-old daughter to the children's theater to see a performance, and at the ticket window I first inquired about the price of the next seat. The conductor said: the first-level ticket is one hundred yuan, the second-level ticket is eighty yuan, the standing ticket is fifty yuan, and the program list is five yuan. After hearing this, my girlfriend whispered to me: Daddy, let's sit on the program list!

4. After getting the demolition money of 30 million yuan from his hometown, dad used 700,000 yuan to buy a small Tibetan mastiff. This little Tibetan mastiff always took the leftover bones to the door and put them down, and dug a pit with one foot on the left and the right foot to cover up the bones. Then the fart went out to play. I couldn't bear to tell it: "My door is a pit of concrete floor where you come from." "Isn't it good to cover your ears and steal the bell!?"

5. On the first night of the wedding, the bride had already changed into a beautiful silk nightgown and lay on the bed. But an hour passed, and the groom was still well dressed and looking out the window, and the bride reminded him impatiently: "What's wrong?" He replied, "Go to sleep first!" Leave me alone, because my mom told me that tonight was the most wonderful night I could ever see, so now I don't want to waste any second of the night view. ”?

6. Taking advantage of my father's absence, I secretly played with my father's mobile phone and changed my note to a little lover. In the evening, I talked to my father and asked him to invite me to a big dinner. While I was eating, my mother came with my two uncles. As soon as they saw that it was me sitting on the side, my mother immediately laughed haha: You don't call me when you eat, so I rushed to come, and I brought your uncle to protect me when it was not safe at night!

7. After my wife fell asleep, I secretly picked up her mobile phone and changed my name in the above contact to her boss's name. The result the next day... I was at work, and my wife suddenly sent me a message: I have been tight lately, can I borrow your money and not pay it back first? There is also a "pitiful" expression. Can anyone help me interpret what this means?

8. In recent days, it has been raining heavily every day, and the water on the road is very deep, and many cars can't pass. A big brother with an umbrella, standing in the water above his knees. At this time, a brother who was driving an off-road vehicle looked at him with contempt, increased the throttle and rushed over, and as a result, the whole car was completely submerged. The owner of the car climbed out of the car and said to the big brother with the umbrella: Didn't the water just reach your knees? The big brother with the umbrella replied: You are stupid! I'm standing on the roof of the car, or the bus!

9. On this day, the abbot took his girlfriend to the Gucci store to buy clothes and bags. Suddenly, the girlfriend pointed to several sets of clothes and said to the shopping guide: "I want all these sets of clothes!" While the shopping guide was packing, the girlfriend suddenly shouted: "Oops!! Shopping guide: "What's wrong??" Did you forget to bring money? The girlfriend looked left and right and said awkwardly, "Today I... I took the wrong boyfriend!! ”

10. After my cousin dropped out of high school, in order to pay off his mortgage, he moved bricks on the construction site and went almost every day. Today, when I saw that he was still at home, I asked: Why didn't you move the bricks? Cousin: The contractor asked me to buy sandpaper today, and I heard it wrong and bought the burnt paper. Me: And then what? Cousin: The contractor asked me to take it and throw it away, my brain twitched, said to keep it, will use it later!?

11, the landlady blushed and said, "Nasty." "The next day he was fired by the boss because the boss was allergic to the smell of smoke! I remember when I was young, when I came home from school, I suddenly saw a small golden retriever on the side of the street, and it was frozen and shivering in the winter, so I decided to adopt it when I was so soft-hearted! Pick it up, put it in your arms to warm it, and then go all the way back. When I was waiting for the traffic light at a junction, I suddenly felt that someone was patting me on the back, and when I looked back at Uncle, Uncle pointed at me breathlessly and scolded: "Dare to steal my dog, I chased you three streets!" ”?

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #