1, the husband is drunk and late, the wife has a plan, want to test whether he has an affair, so he put on lipstick and deliberately kissed a few bites on the husband's clothes! The next day, the husband woke up drunk, and the wife was born

1, the husband is drunk and late, the wife has a plan, want to test whether he has an affair, so he put on lipstick and deliberately kissed a few bites on the husband's clothes! The next day, the husband woke up drunk, and the wife was angry: What were you doing outside last night, you look at this lipstick mark! Husband looked at it and laughed! Wife: You made a mistake and laughed! Husband: Wife, don't be funny, such a big lipstick mark, who else but you has such a big mouth!

2, my girlfriend thinks I am a poor boy, followed a rich second generation to run, I fell frustrated in the scene to go to the bar to buy drunk, before leaving also sang a song "Beijing Beijing", humming songs while walking. I got into the taxi and hummed, unconsciously fell asleep, and the driver woke me up in the morning: Beijing has arrived! I opened my eyes and looked at the meter: twelve thousand eight hundred and fifteen dollars. I said with a shocked face: Master, why did you open Beijing?" The master said: I asked you several times last night, you all said Beijing, Beijing, I thought you were in a hurry to see the national flag raised! My God, now that I think about it, I feel afraid, fortunately I didn't sing that song "Heaven" last night?

3. From childhood to adulthood, wherever you go, your own driver drives and picks you up. Once the driver took a leave of absence, the first time I called, sitting in the co-pilot, the driver said to hit the meter billing. I didn't quite understand, that day luck was good, there was no traffic jam, fifteen minutes to arrive. One look at the meter, I exclaimed: 89! Master, you are also too bad, right? There is so much money on this road, believe it or not, I sue you! The driver's eldest brother turned his head and looked at me and said: This is a radio, not a meter.

4. I am only 13 years old this year, and my mother asks me to do various housework every day. I put up with this, and what was too much was that my mother always asked me to wash all my clothes by hand, and she would be angry when she found out that I was secretly using the washing machine. I've never figured out why. Could it be that the washing machine is her biological son and I am the washing machine?

5. Gave my girlfriend a Hermès bag, and she immediately introduced her brother to me. We fell in love at first sight and established a relationship within a few days of knowing each other. The first time I went to my boyfriend's house, my boyfriend personally cooked me and fried a few good dishes. I happily took a bite and suddenly realized that the dish was not cooked at all. I thought to myself, what can I do about this? This table dish was made for me by my boyfriend himself, and it is not good for my boyfriend if I don't eat it. I was thinking about it, my boyfriend's mother whispered: Hurry up and eat, if you don't eat it, you will cook after that!?

6. The rich man married a flight attendant and gave birth to a son not long after. At the 100-day feast, the rich invited their colleagues to attend. The secretary asked the assistant: How much money are you going to take with you? Assistant: I'll follow a thousand. Secretary: Okay, then I'll follow a thousand. A few days later, the assistant was promoted to group leader. The secretary was particularly puzzled and asked his colleague why. It turned out that the assistant said to others that he had given a thousand gifts, but he himself had followed five thousand. The secretary who knows the truth sighed: The urban routine is deep, I want to go back to the countryside!

7. When I came home from work this afternoon, my daughter-in-law came to me and said, "Honey, do you know what day it is?" How my mom suddenly asked this question! It looks like something is going to happen... At that time, my nervous sweat came out, and I said tremblingly, "I don't know... Dao..." I saw her smile slightly at that time and said, "Fortunately, you don't know, today is my girlfriend's birthday." "Oh my God! This is also too good to dig a pit! "

8. When I was in beijing, our dormitory was a quadruple room. My roommate is a dark boy whose hometown is from rural Shandong. That night, his roommate called his mother: Mother, what are you doing? His mother said: What else can I do, I will work, save you money to marry your daughter-in-law." When my roommate listened, I was touched in my heart, my eyes began to get wet, and I felt a lot after listening to it. At this time, a voice came from over there: Don't move, is it eight cakes? I'm bullshit!

9. Walking in the park, I saw a boy crouching there crying, crying pitifully. I went over and asked what was wrong, and the little boy said he had kicked the rock and went on crying. I comforted him like a consolation, and I said to him a big boss, kick your foot and have nothing to cry about. When the little boy listened, he said to me: You didn't kick you, why don't you say it doesn't hurt, you kick it first and then say it. To set an example for the little boy, I decided to kick it. Then I comforted him, and now the two of us were crying together with our feet wrapped around, and we found that it really hurt to kick it.

10. Last month, a buddy asked me to borrow 3,000 yuan. Today he messaged me and said: I have returned the money to you, you check it out. I was wondering at the time, I didn't give him a bank card number, Alipay and WeChat didn't transfer money. Just when I was still wondering, I received a text message. It is 10086, it said: China Mobile reminds you that you successfully recharged 3000 yuan.

11. Today, the brothers' family wanted to move a bunk window, and the brothers found two moving masters. The master looked at the window, and then began to take pictures of the window with his mobile phone, and the buddies thought that this was the window in the photo, and planned to buy the same model on Taobao. So the brothers began to enthusiastically explain to the master what kind of material this window is made of, and how much it costs. A master really couldn't listen to it: brother, he took the photo in order to put it on the photo for a while after the demolition. nabs:......

12, the flight attendant successfully picked up a rich man on the plane. Since then, he has lived the life of a rich man, often taking the money of the local tycoons to buy some luxury goods. That time out of the shopping, the flight attendant directly brushed the three million bank cards of the local tycoons. After returning home, the local tycoon angrily scolded her: "My pocket money for a whole month was actually brushed up by you in one day, let's break up, I can't afford to raise you, I love to find who to find." The flight attendant said grievously: "I love you to spend your money, others send me, I am not rare." The local tycoon was immediately moved, and immediately took the flight attendant into his arms!

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