1, the female boss is going to go on a blind date, before leaving, specially call me: Brother, you are more handsome, accompany me to the pressure field. After arriving at the restaurant, the man also brought a female companion and took the initiative to give it to the female boss

1, the female boss is going to go on a blind date, before leaving, specially call me: Brother, you are more handsome, accompany me to the pressure field. After arriving at the restaurant, the man also brought a female companion, and he took the initiative to introduce himself to the female boss: This is my sister. I looked up and was momentarily embarrassed that it was my ex-girlfriend. I panicked for a moment, and the landlady saw my concern and took the initiative to say: He suddenly had something to do, let him go first. As a result, my ex-girlfriend was not happy to say to me: What is the hurry? If you leave, what will I do? After saying that, he said to the man: Brother, you see, the blind date still carries such a handsome companion, obviously looking down on you.

2, openly rent themselves on the Internet, make money to buy an iPhone 12, and give the Xiaomi Mi 6 that has been used for half a year to the father-in-law. Father-in-law said: If you can use it, buy a mobile phone, it is a waste of money. I said to my father-in-law: This mobile phone can make video calls, and I can see my son every day... Later, the father-in-law changed his mobile phone, taught how to operate, and also followed a few puzzle games. This is good, several times in the middle of the night at one or two o'clock can still see my father-in-law to my circle of friends like. My mother-in-law also scolded me all day, saying that my father-in-law's cards were no longer played, and I didn't work anymore, and I knew every day that I was wrapping up a mobile phone!

3. Yesterday, when I went to Furong Street, a sanitation aunt riding a three-wheeler rubbed a Maybach. The aunt was frightened and knelt directly in front of the car. At this time, a very young man came down from the Maybach car, and the young man looked at the car. Then he walked over and helped his aunt up, and said angrily: Lose money! Minimum of ten! Or call the police and arrest you!

4. After failing the graduate school, I went to work at my uncle's Bentley 4s store. After selling 50 Bentleys in a month, my uncle directly sent me a bonus of 1 million yuan. As soon as I got off work, my dad called me and asked me to come home and have two drinks with him. I bought two bottles of Moutai and went home, and my dad said a lot of filial piety and things to me. Finally, he summed it up in one sentence: there is a golden house in the book, and there is a yan ruyu in the book! The next day, I immediately bought a copy of Charles IX and gave it to my dad with a hundred-dollar bill on each page.

5. When I went to college, I came with the mentality of single-mindedly studying, but the people around me showed love all day long. I really couldn't stand it, and it was like I went looking for an object myself, and as a result, no boy chased me... I was devastated and didn't expect to be so unpopular. So I crouched at the door of the boys' dormitory, saw a handsome guy come out and rushed up to stop him! The handsome man looked stunned, and I said to him: You wipe my clothes to see if it is your girlfriend's material?

6, downstairs opened a new home Yonghe soy milk, I went back from work to buy some pie. I was eating on the balcony while watching the scenery, when I suddenly heard a man downstairs confessing to a girl!! The boy pleaded bitterly: Please, is it okay to be my girlfriend? The woman shouted: Don't dream!! You don't have a house, you don't have a car, you don't have a deposit, unless there's a pie in the sky!! I didn't even think about it, and ate half of the leek egg pie directly at the woman's head. Silent thoughts: Come on boy!! Brother can only help you so much.

7, the boss's soft China was placed on the desk, I took advantage of him to go to the toilet, stole a few sticks. The boss caught me after watching the surveillance and fired me directly. It took a lot of effort and I finally got a new job. On the first day of employment, I was very happy to send a circle of friends: "I found a new job today, come on!" A buddy commented below: "Which gas station, can it be discounted?" ”

8, the sister-in-law talked about a boyfriend when she was 30 years old, but soon broke up. The reason is that the boyfriend took a phone call while shopping and said to the sister-in-law: I have something to do, I will come back to you in two hours! So the sister-in-law was wandering the street alone, walking and suddenly found her boyfriend and a woman shopping in the mall, and the two people said that there was laughter! The sister-in-law was furious and went up to give the woman a slap. Her boyfriend exclaimed: Mom, are you okay? Then angrily asked the sister-in-law: Why did you beat my mother!

9. The second elder missed their precious grandson and took my son to the countryside. The house was suddenly quiet, and my wife and I were very happy. Today I said to my wife, "Bring my son back, he is not at home, I really can't eat." The wife was surprised and said: "It's only been a week, and I started thinking about my son's tea and dinner?" Me: "As soon as my son left, you didn't cook rice every day, rice and pickles every day." ”

10. I printed a little sign for my small shop and secretly posted it in the community. Two days later, the property came to the door and said: "The advertisement has been cleaned up, don't post advertisements in the community in the future." I apologized awkwardly while promising not to do it in the future. At the end, I asked the property, "How did you find out that I was posting an advertisement?" My anti-reconnaissance measures should be quite strict! Property: "You have a phone number on your ad, and we found you when we compared it with the owner's contact information." "I... Sloppy!

11, I have known my girlfriend for three or four years, I have planned to get engaged, the two of us usually like to chat at home. One day my girlfriend asked me: She fell into the water at the same time as my mother, who would I save first? I asked her: If I pursue him at the same time as Fu Er Dai, who will she choose? As a result, my girlfriend did not hesitate to choose me, which is also the common sentiment of people, after all, the rich second generation will pursue her, which can only be something that appears in a dream.

12, I have a friend whose wife died a long time ago and lives with his son. His son was only ten years old, but he weighed a hundred pounds. Friends told him to lose weight, he also wanted to lose, helpless will is weak, can not be reduced. The friend said bitterly to her son, "Do you know how your mother died that year?" Son: "I don't know. Friend: "We went to the mountain to pick wild vegetables, your mother was accidentally bitten by a poisonous snake, I want to send her down the mountain to the hospital, but your mother weighed one hundred and sixty pounds, I can't afford to carry it, and I delayed the treatment time." So, you must lose weight! ”?

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