1, at night, my brother has to work overtime and can't come back, and I and my sister-in-law are left at home. That night there was thunder, I was ready to go to bed, when my sister-in-law said that she was afraid of thunder, and then my sister-in-law slept in bed. In order to

1, at night, my brother has to work overtime and can't come back, and I and my sister-in-law are left at home. That night there was thunder, I was ready to go to bed, when my sister-in-law said that she was afraid of thunder, and then my sister-in-law slept in bed. In order to comfort my sister-in-law, I took her in my arms, and slowly my sister-in-law fell asleep, and I was a little sleepy, so I slept together until the morning. My brother came back, the door was opened, and my brother watched me sleeping with my sister-in-law hugged each other, so he smiled and said: "My sister is still sensible!"

2, Xiao Meili cried loudly and ran down the stairs. "What's going on, kid?" Mother asked. "Dad was nailing the painting and smashed his finger with a hammer." "Hey, it doesn't matter," the mother reassured him, "a child as old as you shouldn't cry about small things." You should laugh. "The problem is that I laughed."

3, today take your girlfriend and friends to K song, play Truth or Dare, just when your girlfriend loses to be asked the truth, the friend said: "You give Wei XX a true word!" The girlfriend thought about it and said, "Wei XX, I will give you three children in the future, I have thought of the name, it is called Wei Acid, Wei Pain, Wei Ulcer." ”

4, let my daughter-in-law hand me an onion, she did not wait to hand it to me before letting go, the onion fell on the ground. I criticized: What else can you do? Daughter-in-law echoed: Hmmm, even the onion can not be handed, people are not gentle,,, is able to make money. She was already on the road of boasting, drifting away.

5. In today's self-study class, the teacher found ah wei eating. The teacher was angry: "Ah Wan, you stand up for me!" Ah Wan: "Teacher, why should I stand up?" Teacher: "Because you're in composition class, eating snacks." Ah Wan: "What is this, Cao Zhi's main hall can be written into a seven-step poem, Li Bai can only think like a spring after drinking, Gu Long can only be inspired after smoking, I write an essay, I have to eat snacks!" Teacher: "Roll, you eat stinky tofu in class and still have a reason?" ”

6, this is a very ordinary shirt, whether it is in the exercise can be worn, even after the bath directly put on is also possible! But uncle you wore a sexy feeling, weak and weak to ask, this is also concave and convex!

7, the first time to invite the girlfriend family to dinner, went to a well-known local hot pot restaurant to eat hot pot. Seeing that the mother-in-law did not want to eat very much, I beat the drum in my heart, and it was miserable, what was wrong, the mother-in-law was definitely not satisfied. He asked, "Auntie, why don't you eat?" Auntie said: The mouth is ulcerated, and it hurts to eat! I was nervous and hurriedly said: I have hemorrhoid medicine in my bag, do you want to order it! After saying that, everyone was stunned, can I say that I drank too much and said that I was wrong? The first girlfriend just blew it!

8. On Harvard's campus, the boy shyly asked a charming student: How does the principal's office go? The girl looked at the boy with a look of displeasure: This is the third time you have asked me this question this week, and I want to talk to me directly, but I can find some fresh reasons. The boy scratched his head and smiled embarrassedly, and a month later, she held him and said sweetly: "Come to the principal's office to find me after school." The boy's face was full of embarrassment: Wait a minute! So, how did the principal's office go?

9, this afternoon I came home and did not see my mother, so I asked my father sitting on the sofa: "Dad, what about my mother?" Dad's face was not good, and he said: "After a few quarrels, I went out to play cards." I was about to ask why when dad handed me a glass of water: "Thirsty?" "I was really thirsty, so I took it and drank it, and took a big sip into my throat, and it was white vinegar." My dad looked at me and couldn't catch my breath, laughed and said, "I've been holding back for most of the day, and this is much better." ”

10, Lao Zhang's daughter is about to get married, these days Lao Zhang's daughter-in-law does not know what is wrong, three days of two ends of the old Zhang tantrums, but also punished kneeling washboard, but also punished sleeping floor, but also search for private room money Lao Zhang asked his wife, these days what is wrong with you? You let me taste all the domestic violence in this life, his wife white he glanced at him, you know what, I want my daughter to get married, systematically learn the way of the royal husband!

11. My cousin is on a blind date, and the matchmaker asks me what my cousin wants? My cousin said, "Don't be stingy, be open-minded!" Later, the matchmaker introduced a 200-pound girl, and my cousin secretly asked the matchmaker, did you take me on a blind date, or did you take me to sumo wrestling? Matchmaker: According to your meaning, the heart is wide to be fat!!

12, my name is Fan Yun, the last time I ordered a meal to leave a name, people asked me which cloud is the cloud? I say clouds of clouds. When I arrived at the restaurant, I found that the order record was written as "Fan Halo"... I was anxious and questioned them, and the waiter said to me, don't you mean faint?

13, I am a flower shop, recently always found that the roses in the store will inexplicably be less. The monitoring found that the son took one and put it in his bag every day to take it to the kindergarten. When I went to the kindergarten to inquire about the situation, my son's beautiful teacher cried and laughed and said to me: Your son takes a rose to me every day, kisses me every day, and says I love you. Then the beautiful teacher paused and continued: Sometimes I really want to marry your son.

14, the little rabbit wants to know what happiness is, so go to ask the tiger, the tiger said that the family together is happiness, and then ask the lion, the lion said that the person you love is also in love with you is happiness, and finally asked the leopard, the leopard said that physical health is happiness, the little rabbit came home and told all this to the mother, the mother said that in fact, you are very happy today, the little rabbit did not understand why, the mother said: Because you can come back alive today, child!

15. When learning to drive, take the road test, and there is an examiner in the passenger cab. When you get in the car, you start in one gear. The examiner suddenly said, "Come on! Suddenly feeling very happy in his heart, the exam should be no problem, somewhat flatteringly held out his finger, smiled at the examiner and gestured: "Yay! The examiner's face immediately turned black, and he yelled, "I'm calling you, hurry up and speed up!" ”