1, I went on a blind date, the other party is actually my brother's ex-wife, my original sister-in-law. She and I stared wide-eyed, and the atmosphere was very awkward. I was about to say goodbye to her, but she sighed and said

1, I went on a blind date, the other party is actually my brother's ex-wife, my original sister-in-law. She and I stared wide-eyed, and the atmosphere was very awkward. I was about to say goodbye to her, but she sighed and said, your brother is not out, I just left him, if you and I are suitable, we can still talk. How much do you earn in a month now? I was embarrassed to say that my brother set up a company, which has become bigger and bigger in recent years, and has more than 100 million assets, I helped him, he gave me an annual salary of seven million! She was stunned for a moment, and then shouted, I went to remarry your brother, and then I ran away without a shadow!

2. The rich second generation lives a life of spending money every day, and he loves face very much. Today he went to Dubai and stayed in the world's most luxurious underwater hotel. He asked the waiter, "How much tip do you have to tip at most at one time?" The waiter said, "$1,000." Fu Er Dai took out $2,000 and handed it to him: "The next time someone asks you who gives the most tips, don't forget to mention my name." By the way, who gave you that $1,000? Waiter: "It's you too, sir." ”

3. The brother-in-law has just finished his health and plans to eat a big meal in the restaurant downstairs. There was a father and son sitting at the door, and when the brother-in-law passed by, he only heard the father educate his son and say: How can you beat your mother when you are so old, I think when I was 10 years old, I could beat your grandmother. The little boy listened to the face and bowed his head without saying a word. The brother-in-law was on fire at that time: Did you educate your children like this? Is there such a thing as a father like you? I see you are under-beaten. The boy's father was stunned and said slowly: Brother, I am talking about table tennis! Is there a problem? The brother-in-law shook his head in embarrassment and said: "No problem, you continue." After saying that, he turned around and ran quickly, not even sitting on the elevator.

4. Today, my boyfriend called me to accompany him to go fishing, and I dressed up beautifully and went. It's so comfortable to look at the green grass by the river, lie down with your eyes closed, and roll around! Then say to your boyfriend: This side of the grass is so comfortable, come over and talk about the conversation is not good? The boyfriend stared at the fishing rod and shook his head, I lay on his back from behind, and the uncle next to him spoke:, you have a cow on your back, don't you feel it?

5, the brother-in-law is more than 30 years old and still eats at home, doing nothing every day, resulting in almost 40 years old and not getting married. Yesterday I just came back from a business trip, and in the evening he asked me to go to the barbecue stall for a drink. My brother-in-law complained to me: "Now women, too much importance to money, my girlfriend because I did not buy her a diamond ring for me to break up." Me: "That would be infuriating!" Brother-in-law: "There is even more angry, broke up, I want to return all the money spent on her for 3 years, she actually paid the bill." Me: "I can't sue her!" Brother-in-law: "It's not worth fighting a lawsuit for that 82 yuan and 3 cents..."

6, the current society, that is really show talent do not go out, you know the world's affairs. Resting at home, I hung games on my computer, my phone looked at the consultation, and my father expressed puzzlement. Without looking up, I said: Why are you scolding me while hitting me! My dad said: Your double-mindedness will only distract you, and I am concentrating on increasing firepower!

7, I feel that I have the potential of plague god, and I don't know why. Anything I like, go eat a few times and definitely close the door. Seven or eight have been closed in two years, large plates of chicken, ramen, Mao Blood Wang, roast lamb, Zhou Ji rice noodles... The most excessive is a boiled meat slice, which has not even had time to go on the takeaway platform for half a month, and it is closed after eating once. Is there something wrong with my taste, or are they not insisting?

8, my boyfriend stood at the door of my house and said to me: "We have been dating for so long, today I am going to see your parents, I want to confess one thing to you, in fact, when I was in school, I spent fifty yuan to bribe the doorman security guard, let him register the phone for the school flowers that entered the door, the result was wrong, the security guard wrote the phone wrong... I always thought you were the school flower, and then through understanding, I gradually fell in love with you..." I hugged my boyfriend and said calmly: "After all the family, I will see my father, but don't call the security guard..."

9. After work yesterday, I was cooking in the kitchen, and my son sang and took a cheerful step to find me in the kitchen. My son said to me, "Mom, I really want to grow up fast!" I want to be a man. I said, "Baby, you'll leave home when you grow up, and your mother will be old and die alone!" The sensible son patted my head and said, "Don't be sad, Mom, when I grow up and have children, I think you are a mother!" ”

10. The father-in-law was cooking in the kitchen, and the little uncle suddenly called the father-in-law: "Dad, I accidentally scratched a car, and he wants me to lose 50,000 yuan." Father-in-law: "What kind of car did you scrape?" Open your mouth for 50,000? Little uncle: "Yeah, so I smashed his car in a fit of rage, and now he wants me to accompany 5 million." Father-in-law: "What?" You contrarian son, even if you are sold, our family can't afford it! You are determined to kill me. Little uncle: "Dad, I just joked with you, I just scored 150 points in the college entrance examination, I'm afraid you can't accept it, is this easier to accept?" ”

11, the brother-in-law is very fascinated by the game, the sister is very disgusted with him to play the game for the sake of the game ignore the sister. On this day, my sister said to my brother-in-law: Husband, I am pregnant. The brother-in-law was stunned for a moment, then jumped up and said: Really? I'll give my dad a happy day! So the brother-in-law immediately quit the game, and then ran home and said: Dad, I have come to announce the good news to you, you are going to be a grandson! I saw that my brother-in-law's father suddenly had a black line on his face, and my sister laughed madly. After the brother-in-law found out that he said it wrong, he quickly changed his mouth: I was so excited, I just said it was wrong, it was you who wanted to have a grandfather! The brother-in-law's father couldn't help it, and he directly started to beat it...

#Funny Moment #Funny Funny Paragraph ##搞笑幽默趣闻 #