1. The sister-in-law scored 688 points in the college entrance examination, and the admission score of Tsinghua University was 687 points. At that time, I could spoil my sister-in-law and feel that my luck was too good! She happily sent a friend

1. The sister-in-law scored 688 points in the college entrance examination, and the admission score of Tsinghua University was 687 points. At that time, I could spoil my sister-in-law and feel that my luck was too good! She happily sent a circle of friends: Haha, what luck am I, the admission line is 687 points, I just took the test 688 points! The father-in-law commented in the following seconds: Haha, good coincidence, my daughter also scored 688 points in the college entrance examination! At that time, the sister-in-law was stunned, and replied at the bottom: Dad, do you have any other daughters besides me?

2, once on a plane, the lady by the window wants to go to the toilet, and I need to stand up and give up my seat. I was afraid that she was in a hurry, and hurriedly unfastened her seat belt and stood up suddenly, but I did not get up, as if a powerful force was stopping me, and I did not accept it, confrontation, confrontation, confrontation, but was firmly locked in the seat and could not move. What's going on? I looked down and saw that the seat belt was tightly tied to my body, and what I had unbuttoned was actually the waistband of my pants.

3. Today is Tanabata Valentine's Day, and my single dog has eaten a handful of dog food on the street. A nice girl in the class sent me a message: Come to me, there is no one in our dormitory. I bought a bouquet of roses and ran to the girls' dormitory, and when I got to their dormitory, I adjusted my mentality. Slowly open the door and look at it: there is really no one in their dormitory.

4, I always sleep with a habit that I can't control, always unconsciously biting my tongue. Recently, the mouth ulcer, this problem is more serious, sleeping often bites the tongue to wake up in pain. I had a whim, or put a cookie on my tongue to block my teeth and bite my tongue! Not to mention, this method is very good, sure enough, I didn't wake up by my own tongue biting my tongue again, that is, I gained four pounds in a week!

5. After graduating from high school, I worked as the general manager of my father's company. Every day in the company is to chase the drama, it is really boring, I drive Toyota out to carry passengers to pass the time. Picked up a couple at the entrance of the cinema. The man said, "Honey, you go back first, I'm going to go dark with my friends all night tonight." The girl didn't speak, a look of resentment. After arriving at the destination, the man got out of the car. The woman shouted at me, "Driver, go to the nearest hotel, and then you can collect the car." I'm just a warm-hearted guy who kicks the throttle and runs out. The man chased me for five whole streets!

6. When my wife and five male colleagues went on a business trip to other places, I called my brother-in-law to go to Wanda's newly opened sauce bone self-service shop. The taste is not bad, the bones are spicy, minced garlic, original, and there is also a white and rich bone broth. Nibbling on the meat on the bones, drinking soup, simply not too beautiful! At this time, the brother-in-law suddenly asked me: "Brother-in-law, do you think that the bones we have leftover are still useless?" I nibbled on the bones and replied casually, "Nonsense, the remaining bones can still be boiled in soup, but it is fragrant." Suddenly, the two of us suddenly stopped and looked at the two bowls of soup in front of us and fell into thought...?

7, Alipay flower shell viciously rose to 87,000 yuan, I happily invited the brothers to drink. Everyone drank very happily, and did not leave until the early morning. The next day, none of us were affected by a hangover and arrived at the company on time. I asked a buddy: What's the matter, yesterday I went back so late, my daughter-in-law confiscated you? Dude sneered and said: How can it be! She picked me up? After I came back, she didn't dare to open the door!

8, a disheveled drunken woman shouted on the street: "Why do I have 20 villas, 5 Bentleys, 200 million deposits, but no one wants to marry me?" A young man who looked like a scholar stepped forward and said, "I am willing to marry you!" The woman was very happy, and took the man and left. Just two steps away, several big men rushed out and arrested the woman. The young man asked in horror, "Why did you take my wife?" A big man shouted angrily, "Roll! She was a patient in our psychiatric hospital and just ran out! ”

9, go home at night, the road is a little distracted, accidentally stepped on a stone, slipped a fall. I thought I was going to have an intimate contact with the earth, but someone helped me up from behind. Turning my head to see that it was a couple, the two of them helped me together, thanked me and left. Feel like a single dog, incomparably desolate, looking for a friend to talk to, the friend said: they must be a person who can't help you!

10, I have an older brother, only a year older than me, but our personalities are very different. The eldest brother belongs to the mischievous type, and I am a bit quiet. Today, my aunt asked me: Your eldest brother has no edge from childhood to big skin, why are you so quiet? I honestly say: In fact, I also want to be naughty, but when I saw my father smoking big brother and cutting off the feather duster, I broke this idea!

11. After graduating from Normal University, my sister-in-law went to a key middle school as a chemistry teacher. A few days ago, the class teacher took sick leave, and my sister-in-law helped to go to the dormitory building to check the bed. After arriving at the boys' dormitory, my sister-in-law suddenly noticed that the windows in the dormitory were particularly dirty. She pointed to another window and said, "Look at how clean people's windows are." While talking, he went to wipe the glass on the window, and then, the sister-in-law suddenly found that there was no glass on the window frame...

12, my boyfriend stood at the door of my house and said to me: "We have been dating for so long, today is going to see your parents, I want to confess one thing to you, in fact, when I was in school, I spent fifty yuan to bribe the doorman security guard, let him register the school flowers at the door to leave a phone, the result is wrong, the security guard wrote the phone wrong... I always thought you were the school flower, and then through understanding, I gradually fell in love with you..." I hugged my boyfriend and said calmly: "After all the family, I will see my father, but don't call the security guard..."

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