1, once took the train sleeper, the upper bunk is a young woman, looking beautiful. At night, there were only two of us in the whole train room, and the young woman seemed to be a little frightened, so she climbed down from above

1, once took the train sleeper, the upper bunk is a young woman, looking beautiful. At night, there were only two of us in the whole train room, and the young woman seemed to be a little frightened, so she climbed down from above, and then said to me, you are a good person at first glance, you should not have any thoughts about me, right? I was surprised and said, good people also like beautiful women, you look so beautiful, I have ideas about you is a very normal thing. The beautiful woman said helplessly, then do you have a wife? I shook my head and said, I haven't married yet, and she asked again, do you have a girlfriend? I shook my head and said my first love was still there. She sighed and said, this is deep in the middle of the night, there are only two of us in the whole sleeper private room, you will definitely bully me, forget it, I will still be your girlfriend directly. I have a girlfriend for no reason, and I am quite dizzy, but this is also very good, and finally ended the single state. After getting off the train, I took her to a big meal, bought her jewelry bags and clothes, and her mood was obviously better, she smiled and said, I didn't expect you to be rich. I shook my head and said, I have worked for so many years, I have only saved tens of thousands of dollars, and today I spent all of it on you. She looked at me with a complicated look and said, You are really good to me, but your money has been spent, what should we do in the future? It's impossible to drink the northwest wind, right?

2. Delivered a month of takeaway and paid 68,000 yuan in wages. After work, I immediately took my girlfriend to Haidilao to eat hot pot. My girlfriend ordered something for nearly 1,000 yuan, but only the two of us couldn't finish eating!!!!!! I asked the waiter, "Did you add anything to your hot pot?" The waiter righteously said: "We are a regular hot pot restaurant, and we certainly did not add anything unhealthy." I said to my girlfriend, "Didn't you hear ?????? It's not that hot pot is toxic and addictive, you're just too hungry. ”

3. My girlfriend wanted to drive my Bugatti out to play, but just five minutes after going out, she hit the telephone pole. I was particularly angry and scolded my girlfriend fiercely. When I lost my temper, I suddenly felt that I had gone a little too far. I called to apologize, she has not answered, so I had to reply to the message: I looked at your photo, reflected on myself, felt that I did something very wrong, said too much, can you not remember the villain, forgive me this time? Girlfriend seconds back: Which photo are you looking at??

4, I have been renting for more than ten years, or my brother once met such an annoying girl. Last night, I pulled a beautiful girl and she started snacking as soon as she got in the car. I watched as she ate three packs of spicy strips, and the whole car smelled of spicy strips. I don't think she's polite at all, and very uncultured. I kept looking at her, but along the way, she didn't ask me if I ate or not!

5, I rented the house to the end of the day, but the charter wife will not let me continue to rent, how to ask for it does not agree. The girl with whom I rented a house said that she could rent half a window for me, and the rent money was half for me and her. I felt that it cost less than before, so I agreed. After living for half a year, the charter wife told me that the girl liked me, but she was embarrassed to tell me, so she begged her not to renew my rent. I went, the girl was really painstaking, but if I agreed, I wouldn't have to pay the whole rent, it was really tangled............

6) The cousin is a very confused person, but his daughter is very intelligent. That time I took my daughter to the mall, but I was scattered, and my cousin was anxious to look around. Finally, the cousin heard the broadcast: Hu Mou's little friend, your father is waiting for you at the service desk on the 1st floor, please come quickly after hearing the broadcast! My cousin wondered at the time, why was the child's name the same as his own? Go to the first floor and see that his daughter is waiting there. The cousin asked her curiously: Why don't you say Mr. Chen, your daughter is waiting for you on the first floor? His daughter said: Father, I am afraid that some bad people will hear about it and pretend to be my parents to forcibly abduct me.

7, the company vacation, I took my son back to my mother's house for a few days, my son all day long down the river to wipe fish and play happily. In the evening, in the room, I taught him: to study hard, and to take the college entrance examination in the future! My son asked me: Mom, why didn't you take the college entrance examination that year? I was embarrassed to say: Because your grandfather's family was poor. Before he could finish speaking, the door slammed open! My dad yelled at me: Don't mess around, I don't carry this pot!

8. The university only has one exam per semester, which is the final exam. The test paper is the teacher's proposition at our own school, and we want the teacher to disclose the test question. The class leader asked pitifully, "Teacher, you revealed a few mandatory questions." Teacher: "No! I leaked the exam questions to be punished. The squad leader said wittily, "I'm not embarrassed about the teacher, but you have to reveal all the non-test questions." ”

9. When my wife and I were in love, my wife was gentle and lovely, and she looked like a sweet neighbor's well-behaved woman. After getting married, my wife rode a motorcycle to a hundred miles, and from time to time she played a small drift, and I was thrown out of my nose sitting behind me. That day, I accidentally let me turn out my wife's taekwondo black belt certificate, all pretended, big liar!

10, on the weekend, my mother went to the street to buy clothes, and another woman also looked at the piece, so she grabbed it with her mother, and her mother asked: Do you have a daughter? The woman was confused and said, "No." So my mother snatched it up, no daughter, no daughter, you still dare to rob me! After leaving the store, I asked my mother why, and my mother said: I don't dare to argue with others on the street now, I am afraid that it is your future mother-in-law.

#Funny##搞笑段子 #