There was a young woman in the unit, divorced for two years, and I wondered if I could catch her and went directly to her house one night. She was having dinner alone, and when she saw me, she smiled and asked, "You."

There was a young woman in the unit, divorced for two years, and I wondered if I could catch her and went directly to her house one night. She was eating dinner alone, and when she saw me, she smiled and asked, can you have some wine? I said that I can drink a little, but it is the amount of three or two. She smiled and said, that's much better than me, and I'll have a drink. I smiled and said, then the two of us who can't drink well are drinking together, and it won't be long before we get drunk. She didn't care, she said, get drunk! As a result, before the bottle of liquor was finished, we couldn't do it. Two red clouds rose from her cheeks, and her eyes were confused, as if there were two pools of wine hidden inside. I also don't have the old reservedness and Sven, I looked at her directly and said, I like you for a long time, would you like to be my girlfriend? You give me a word. She shook her head and said, I don't want to be your girlfriend. I was extremely disappointed to hear that. Shaky ready to leave. But she grabbed me and said, I'm going to be your wife.

2, the man did the bus home, just got on the bus the conductor said that the seat was full, he silently withdrew. At this time, a handsome man and a big sister also got on the car one after the other, the conductor said as usual, the handsome man quickly turned around and got off, and the big sister still walked towards the car. The handsome man grabbed the eldest sister and said: Full, don't get on! The eldest sister paused and ignored it, watching the handsome man let go, and the eldest sister almost roared: I am a master who drives a car! Who would dare not let me get in the car?

3, the sister was admitted to the medical university, when she was a junior, she liked a senior, and then she became pregnant before marriage, took a year off school to give birth to her niece. Yesterday I went to my sister's house to rub rice, my sister took my little niece to buy vegetables, I sat in the house with my brother-in-law and chatted, and suddenly my sister called: "My daughter is lost in the market, you come quickly!" "We went out in a hurry, and as soon as we went downstairs, we saw the little guy running to this side, and the brother-in-law immediately rushed forward to wrap her in his arms. The niece cried out, "Daddy! Mom let me lose it, you go and find it! ”

4, my wife is pregnant, this day I specially asked her to go to the hospital to do B ultrasound. When the results came out, the doctor looked at me with sympathetic eyes and made me feel strange. Doctor: "Not yours. The wife's face turned green at once, and she trembled and said, "Can you see this?" I gave my wife a mouthful and sobbed so angrily that the corners of her mouth twitched. The wife covered her face and said, "Husband, I'm sorry, I know I'm wrong." At this time, the doctor said, this list is yours.

5. The brother-in-law of the young and crazy second generation of the rich failed the college entrance examination with only 200 points, and completely broke off the idea of college. The neighbor's children went to a prestigious university, while the brother-in-law had to go to work. More than a decade later, the neighbor's mother showed off to her mother-in-law, and his son applied for a project manager with a monthly salary of more than 10,000 yuan. The brother-in-law, on the other hand, was wondering: Should I hire him?

6, male: daughter-in-law, give me a hundred yuan! Woman: What do you want money for? Male: The old Chinese medicine doctor said that I was weak in qi, and I had to buy some astragalus to replenish my qi! Female: Do you have to make up? Male: Must make up! Female: So be it, tonight I will go to the wang sister's house next door! Man: What do you mean? Woman: Didn't you say that when you saw me and Sister Wang, who loves to consume, you would get angry? If you are angry, you will not be angry, what do you do with that unjust money to replenish your anger?

7. When I was in high school, I studied in the private high school in my hometown, and the school was very strictly managed by boarding. In particular, it is strictly forbidden to fall in love. The same table liked a girl in the next class, but because she was too intimidated to confess. About to graduate, a few of us encouraged him to confess, but he was still too intimidated to confess in person. So he made a phone call to her. Then stuttered and said that he liked her so much that he wanted to sing a song for her. Then, he sang the song very emotionally, and cried after singing it. Asked why, I learned that the girl had already hung up the phone, and he had finished singing this song to the air...

8, eat breakfast, see a couple eating on the side. The woman's few bites were finished: "Husband, I'm going to be late, I'll go first!" The woman just left, and the man suddenly stood up and shouted: "Wife, you haven't given the breakfast money yet!" The woman said, "Don't you still have 11 pieces in your right trouser pocket?" "The man was very reluctant to sit down and wipe the money out of his pocket, I looked at it, it was really only 11 yuan!

#Funny# #搞笑段子 #