1, the credit card owes 3500 yuan can not be repaid, the school spent generously to help me pay it back. I was particularly touched at the time, and since then, I have loved the school flowers. She gave it to me as I was about to graduate

1, the credit card owes 3500 yuan can not be repaid, the school spent generously to help me pay it back. I was particularly touched at the time, and since then, I have loved the school flowers. On the occasion of graduation, she gave me a greeting card that said: You. Now ten years later, I have a family and children. One day at home, my son found this card and said: Isn't this just your word? I smiled and asked: Then do you know what this means? Son pursed his lips: Isn't there a you in your heart? I suddenly realized, I burst into tears, and at night I handed the greeting card to my wife and said: Honey, the words you wrote back then were so beautiful!

2, get up in the morning, I said to my husband: I want to eat breakfast... Husband: Wait. Half an hour later, my hungry stomach grumbled, and I crawled out of bed and looked around for my husband. Hey? There was a note on the table, open it and look at it: Pig's head, don't wait, the labor has gone out to work early!

3. Near the college entrance examination, the class teacher sat at the last desk of the classroom every day to supervise our class. One day he fell asleep listening to a lecture in the back, and a classmate was afraid that he would put on a school uniform for him. Who knew that the principal passed by, pushed open the window and gave a blow to the head teacher: it was almost the college entrance examination, and I was sleeping with Lao Tzu in class!

4, the brother-in-law bought an accident insurance for his cousin, took her to climb the mountain, and then pushed her down the mountain. The insurance lost more than 2 million yuan, and the brother-in-law immediately found a beautiful nurse to marry. Not long after the marriage, his wife complained that he did not understand the woman's heart at all, and would not say what she loved to hear. The brother-in-law asked her what she liked to hear and asked her to remind her. She said: "At the very least, change the title, don't call it 'wife', call it three words, which is more intimate." The brother-in-law scratched his head and said, "So what am I going to say?" I couldn't take it anymore and said, "Stupid, it's an old woman!" ”

5, the canteen new to a handsome guy who eats vegetables, every time to give me a lot of calls, my 6th feeling told me, he likes me! So after getting acquainted, I secretly asked him if he had a crush on me? The handsome man said: The head chef said, especially to the fat man of the company, that is, you play more dishes, because you can eat, no matter how much you play, it is a CD, so as to reflect our good food, the people raised white and fat!

6, affected by the epidemic, stayed at home for a long time, the daughter-in-law looked at me everywhere, my eyes hurt, she said that she must be playing with mobile phones. I don't feel well in my cervical spine, and she says she plays with her phone. Even if I have bubbles in my mouth, she thinks she plays with her mobile phone! I retorted: I play mobile phone is not a little benefit, these days a little diarrhea, just anxious to go to the toilet, found that did not take the mobile phone is hard to hold back, mobile phone cured my diarrhea! Daughter-in-law: Then you must thank me, I threw your mobile phone in the trash!

7, the math test I was the first in the class, the same table asked: "How did you do it?" I said calmly, "Nothing! I just said on the roll of paper: One night after school, when I passed the principal's office, I heard a movement, so I took my mobile phone to record for more than 30 minutes... ”

8, after work, about to go to the walking street to buy clothes, facing us a three-year-old boy. Girlfriend: I like it. Me: He's still young, would you rather wait for him to grow up? Girlfriend: When he grows up, is young, has no money, and has to support me, I will be distressed! I want to find a rich man to marry first, so that when he grows up, he can struggle for decades less. Me: Oh...

9, the sister-in-law has become particularly good at dressing up after returning from studying abroad, which is completely different from her in high school! Before the Spring Festival, the sister-in-law went home for the winter vacation, only to see her dressed in beautiful clothes, wearing a pair of boots, and flesh-colored leggings. As soon as the sister-in-law entered the door, her father-in-law was stunned, because she didn't recognize it at all! But the sister-in-law didn't care about this, and excitedly rushed over to wrap up her father-in-law and shouted, "I want to kill you!" The mother-in-law came out to see it, and immediately took the rolling pin to knock the little sister-in-law out of the house, while beating and scolding: "Where is the little fox spirit, stay away from my husband!" ”

10, a senior said to me, you are a freshman new student sister, hearing such a conversation I was happy in my heart, thinking that he was praising my youth, and then I asked, how do you see it, the senior said, look at your skin, I shyly said, Oh, my skin is well maintained, in fact, people are in their third year. The senior replied, then you misunderstood, looking at your skin, I thought you had just finished your military training.

11, has been delivering couriers, today the work has just been completed, on the way home passed a primary school. It was just in time for school to leave, and a group of elementary school students came out in a group. I was dumbfounded, some wore long sleeves, some wore short sleeves, and some wore down jackets! I stepped forward and asked: Children, on such a hot day, how do you wear a down jacket? He said quietly, "There is a kind of cold, so that your mother thinks you are cold!" ”

12. Two days ago, my girlfriend's husband took a leave of absence to take her girlfriend to play. The girlfriend's heels were worn out, and she lay on the couch and cried out to her husband in pain. Her husband: Well deserved! Girlfriend: I doubt that you are really my husband, so to your daughter-in-law. Her husband: Even I doubt myself how I got married such a stupid daughter-in-law and wore high heels when I traveled!

13. The local tycoon donated 5,000,000 to the temple, so the abbot directly left 2,000,000 and gave 1,000,000 points to the disciples for the rest to decorate the temple. On this day, the abbot supervised the work, watching the new house take shape little by little, and his heart was beautiful, and he couldn't help but hum a song. Humming vigorously, the carpenter did not cut anything but kept pressing the cutter, making it idle and making a loud noise. The abbot was very strange and asked the local tycoon: "Why do you press the cutting machine?" The local tycoon groaned for a moment: "I think it sings better than you." The abbot said, "Don't bring such a scary thing." ”

14, go home at night, just enter the door to smell my favorite braised meat, see the daughter-in-law in the kitchen that busy work, I quietly went over and slapped her ass, she "ah" screamed, the result is looking back at the mother-in-law, at this time the daughter-in-law rushed out of the bedroom and said, "Mom, what's wrong is it hot?"