1. Two friends received their salaries and decided to go drinking. One of them was a little worried: My wife was so strong that she probably wouldn't let me in. I went home drunk and stripped naked outside the door first.

1. Two friends received their salaries and decided to go drinking. One of them was a little worried: My wife was so strong that she probably wouldn't let me in. I went home drunk, stripped naked outside the door, and then rang the doorbell. When my wife opened the door, I hurriedly threw my clothes into the house. She saw that I was naked and immediately let me in the house. The next day, the two meet: Hey, how did your wife treat you yesterday? Cough, don't mention it. I walked to the door and stripped naked. The door opened and I threw my clothes out of my hand... Then I heard a voice coming from the door: Please pay attention, now close the door. The next stop is People's Square.

2, I just got my driver's license for three days, and today my BMW mini was blocked on the elevated road. After a while I could move a little, and the car behind me was very tight with me, and I slipped away as soon as I started, and then kept honking the horn. The man quickly stepped back when he saw it. After a while I started again, honked the horn again, and he stepped back again. Then as soon as I honked the horn he knew to back off, which embarrassed me.

3, one day a friend asked me to go to his house for tea. At this time, the friend said: "Now I am really tired of earning money, and I am tired and numb every day." The friend's wife heard it and said with concern: "When I am finished, I will give you a massage." When I got home, I also wanted my wife to massage me, so I sat on the sofa and said loudly to my wife, "Wife, I am tired and numb today." My wife hurried out of the bedroom and stuck it in my thigh, and I let out a scream. At this time, the wife said unhurriedly, "Isn't there still consciousness?" ”

4, yesterday afternoon the mother brought back a cake to the nephew, the nephew went to the toilet, and when he came back, he saw Erha eating. Suddenly, the nephew couldn't help it, directly punched and kicked, and screamed at Erha. Seeing Erha have such a tragic appearance, I couldn't help but feel heartache and advised the little nephew not to fight again! The little nephew looked back at me: You usually steal food, I can't beat you, now it's hard to catch one who won't fight back, I must come out of this evil breath!

5. When I was a child, my family bought a black-and-white TV set, which was the first TV set in our village. After buying it back, people in the village crowded into my house every day to watch it, but the most favorite thing to watch was "Tianlong Babu". Once my parents worked in the fields, and a few friends and I watched the rise. Then my grandmother came out of the back room trembling and pulled the TV plug off. Then he left a sentence that made the people present at the time unforgettable: "Don't finish reading, leave some for my son to come back to see!" ”

6. After a brother won the lottery for 10 million, he called us out to eat eggs. The brother smoked a cigarette and said sadly: The wife takes care of everything, what kind of cigarette is the wife's decision, and the most expensive one only lets you smoke eight yuan. In the middle, everyone is all kinds of complaints, usually a brother who hurts his wife the most said: Smoking this kind of thing my wife does not care about me. Everyone didn't believe it. Then the brother said, "I don't have a fixed brand for smoking, and I pick up whatever cigarette butts people throw." So the brother who won the lottery gave 5 million to the brother who picked up cigarettes!

7, because of being late and playing with mobile phones at work, I was deducted from my salary, the year-end bonus was also lost, I went home depressed, my erha helped me to grab the slippers, I did not kick it away angrily, and erha ran away with his tail between his legs. The daughter-in-law knew about the deduction, she scolded me for not seeking progress, while scolding while looking for a guy to try to clean me up, suddenly, Erha sneaked over, holding a clothes rail in her mouth... Is this the legendary God Assist? Usually, bai fed it canned meat, it is really "a vendetta not to repay the non-dog also"!

8, Dad: You failed again, and then a big mouth pumped into Xiaoming's face! Xiaoming covered his face: Dad, don't be angry, I give you a show of determination, I swear, the next time I fail the exam to die the whole family! Father... It's been a month, and Bob hasn't been discharged from the hospital!!!

9, the neighbor child, just like 7 or 8 years old, when his grandfather died, his father cried a lot, his brother ran over to his father and said: Daddy, you don't have a father, I can be your father... His dad grabbed him and it was a fat punch...

10, my husband said to me that day: Before I met you, I always thought about making money and marrying my wife, so there were a few girls who took the initiative to chase me, and I didn't want it. Later, I found it too difficult to make money, so let's marry my wife first!。。。 Speaking of my TM, how lucky I am!

11, dorm a school bully in order to concentrate on learning so far only use a button mobile phone, so I and a few other buddies want to teach him to play LOL. As a result, he was out of control when he played this game, and he went to the Internet café all night every day. Later, when he learned that he was hanging up, he angrily shouted: "I swear to the lamp tube, I will never go to the Internet café for a week!" "Someone met him in the Internet café that night, and surprisingly, the next day the lamp was broken!" So there was a new rule in the dormitory: there was no right to swear against the public property of the dormitory.

12, yesterday my birthday, the company sent 6666 birthday red envelopes to me. I was so happy that I came home ready to tell my wife the good news. When I got home, I saw several bowls of boiled water on the table. Me: Why are you doing with so many bowls? Wife: Don't ask, in a moment, you'll know. I tasted the dish: Oh, that's salty too, isn't it? Wife: When you stir-fry vegetables, you put too much salt, when you eat. Wash in the first bowl and soak in the second bowl. The third bowl is over clean water, and then it is not salty!

13. The girl goes shopping with the favorite senior. In the store! Girls have a crush on a skirt! She deliberately said she forgot to bring money! Borrow money from seniors to pay the bill. Girls put on new dresses! Turned around! The skirt is flappy. She asked the senior, "Is it good?" The senior said, "Looks good." The girl said shyly, "My boyfriend bought it." The senior was stunned! Angrily, he said, "Obviously I bought it!" Don't you want to pay it back? ”

14, after I became a manager, the burden on my shoulders became a lot heavier, and I often went out to socialize. But my alcohol intake is not good, so I asked a friend who has been in the winery for a long time how to stand in an invincible position in the winery. He told me to get myself drunk first, and then when you wake up, they're almost drunk, and then you can drink them all over. Last night I just went to socialize, decided to get myself drunk first, and when I woke up, I found that they had all run.