1, today my mother-in-law called me to say that she made stewed abalone, so that I and my husband could go home for dinner at night. But my mother-in-law's salt seemed to be too much, and the abalone was very salty, so I asked my husband to pour me a cup of water to drink. Husband

1, today my mother-in-law called me to say that she made stewed abalone, so that I and my husband could go home for dinner at night. But my mother-in-law's salt seemed to be too much, and the abalone was very salty, so I asked my husband to pour me a cup of water to drink. As soon as my husband was about to get up, my mother-in-law shouted: What water to eat and drink! The husband did not speak, and the mother-in-law said sternly: No water is allowed to eat! Then, my husband pointed at me and said to my mother-in-law: She wants to drink. The mother-in-law and the father-in-law both opened their mouths and said in one voice: Then quickly pour water! My husband wants to cry without tears: Am I biological?

2, the director went to Guangzhou business trip back, wanted to give his wife a surprise, while knocking on the door said: "Hello, takeaway arrived." As a result, there was a knock on the door for half a day, a young man gently opened the door, the director was just about to get angry, looked up, the house number was wrong!

3, bentley, which has been driven twice, was lent by his wife to his brother-in-law to pick up his sister the next day by bus to work, and a trembling old lady came up in the middle. I hurriedly carried him to my seat and was about to sit down when a beautiful woman quickly preemptively took his seat. I said restrainedly, "Beauty, this is the seat I gave to My Aunt!" Please get up. The beauty flew over to me with a wink and said vaguely, "You don't think so much of me as your daughter-in-law." "I immediately gave her an over-the-shoulder fall, and she screamed straight. Then I sneered and said, "That's how my daughter-in-law and I calculated!" ”

4, the third section hung up, we waited for the bus together in the examination room, next to a lewd man also hung up, said: hang up! What are you doing with your face, I don't like to take the driver's license, I have a driver, my family has to come, annoyed to death... Everyone looked at him with contempt, loading 13 who would not ~ a black Range Rover stopped over, the lewd man got on the car and left, the scene was silent

5, the number is not right beauty immediately apologized that just said the number is wrong, and then said the number to me again, and finally she also took me pitifully and said that she really knows that it is wrong, please don't be angry, be sure to contact her often!

6, the young wife began to complain to her husband a week after the new marriage: "You are really difficult to serve!" Eat the boiled beans I made on Monday and you eat them with relish, Tuesday you say I cooked them even better than yesterday, Wednesday you say that the boiled beans are not the same as the previous two days, Thursday I cooked the beans you said were so unpalatable, and on Friday you actually said that you would never eat the boiled beans I made again! "Haha!

7, queuing security check, the line is very long, a big mother cut in line. Her daughter chased after her: "Mom, you cut in line, hurry back!" "It's all right, it's fine here, you come too!" "No, people have to say, come back!" "Say it, there is no quality, what is it!" You think they don't want to cut in line? Die for face! ”

8, the beautiful sister-in-law installed an Audi, driving the A4 is a young man, get off the car and scold! Boy: "Do you know how much my car costs?" The sister-in-law said very calmly: "As long as the old lady is willing, Ferrari has someone willing to buy it for me, why not drive your car!" Don't think that a little money is a big uncle! Boy: "Aren't you unwilling!" Sister-in-law: "You don't pestering me, I already wanted to!" ”

9, a few days ago the little Lori upstairs almost fell, I quickly pulled her up, little Lori said to be my girlfriend, I laughed, what does this child think. This morning, I heard Little Lori arguing about not going to school, and her mother was very angry and said: You can't study well, you can't find a job or money in the future, and no one likes you... Little Lori said loudly: The brother downstairs is my boyfriend, I let him raise me, I don't want to go to school!

10, the day before yesterday accidentally saw my son's notebook, one of which is written like this: Dad is really hard, busy with work, when I get home from work, I have to cook, mop the floor, tutor my homework in more detail than the teacher said, thank you Dad! However, as a man, you should have the appearance of a man, cooking, washing dishes, laundry and mopping the floor, these chores should be done by the mother, the father is too out of the ordinary, afraid of the wife, I kind of despise you! I put my son's notebook where my wife could see. When I got home last night, I looked at my notebook again, and the page was torn by my wife

11, life is full of tears. On the bus, a little Lori didn't know why she was crying, and she couldn't help it. Finally she pointed at me and said: You are crying, Ma Ma will not want you, let you give this uncle over. Little Lori actually stopped crying immediately, and said: Ma Ma I don't want to live with this uncle, my uncle looks so good, looking scared of people. After saying that, he dug into her arms...

12, when I was in school, one day I was in the dormitory ready to change my pants, just took off the trouser belt, but unexpectedly came in a few female students, no way, I had to carry my pants to the next dormitory. I was about to unbutton when a few more female students came in, and there was no way, so I had to carry my pants to the door of the next dormitory. Because I was holding my pants in both hands and I was in a hurry, I had to kick open the dormitory door and shout, "Is there a woman inside?" Are there any women? "I saw a whole bunch of girls sitting in the room, looking at me in horror...

13. Gave the chairman a fishing rod of 20,000 yuan and was promoted to the head of the department. A few days after the promotion, there was a post-00s beauty intern in the factory. As a result, she had to quit after 10 days of work, so I talked to her. I said, "Why quit, a lot of boys in our office are ready to chase you!" Intern: "Much?" There are not 3 men in our office in total, remove the two married, don't you have a man? ”

14, in order to submit the paper, I took the topic to Baidu to know the above questions, hoping to get some answers and then put it together, when I was full of expectations. One person replied, "I'm going to hand it in tomorrow, so I'm not ready to write it yet!" ”

15, I am not in the same university as my girlfriend, long-distance relationship. It was so cold this winter that I was going to buy her a scarf, so I called and asked her what color she wanted. The girlfriend said: No scarves, I never brought them, save some money. When I listened to it, I was touched. Two days later, my girlfriend called me and asked, "Honey, where did my scarf go, and why hasn't it arrived yet?" I......