Today a Bentley went backwards and hit a motorcycle. The owner of the Bentley got out of the car with a cigarette and said impatiently: "Dude, you can't ride a broken motorcycle!" "Then throw your hands away

Today a Bentley went backwards and hit a motorcycle. The owner of the Bentley got out of the car with a cigarette and said impatiently: "Dude, you can't ride a broken motorcycle!" Then he threw up his hands and gave the other party 2,000 yuan. Just as the Owner of the Bentley was about to get into the car, the owner of the motorcycle stopped him. The owner of the Bentley car looked different: "Well, give you 2,000 is not much, don't hurry to leave, want to blackmail me!" The motorcycle owner shook his head and said coldly, "Boy, hurry up and call your dad and say you hit an Ecosse?" ES1? Spirit motorcycle!

2, today I came home from work and saw my father explaining something to my mother. When I came back, my father looked at me like he had found a savior and said, "Girl, you said that the 500 yuan in the closet is yours, right?" "I still had to make my eyes glaze over, and I instantly understood what was going on. Me: "Yeah, Mom, I put it, don't I come back to get money to buy clothes!" After saying that he took the money out of the door, my father still rarely told me: "Girl, it is not easy to make money, you come back early!" ”

3. When I went to school, I often bullied my female tablemates. Once I cut off a few of her hairs, and the lesbian shouted at me: Don't leave after school, wait for me at the back door! I was also a grumpy temper, so I immediately called my brother and asked him to bring a few people over after school. Later, when she came over, she saw a few faint people holding steel pipes next to me, and the love letters in her hands were frightened. My brother looked embarrassed and danced the pole dance directly, saying that he had come to help.

4. When I went to the village to attend a wedding ceremony of my own family, the celebrant announced: "Next, there is a speech for the groom." At this time, the groom politely owed everyone a debt and stood up to speak. The groom stood up and took the microphone and said, "I sincerely thank you all for attending our wedding in your busy schedule, which is a great encouragement, a great encouragement, and a great care for us." Since we are married for the first time and lack experience, we still need more help and support from you in the future. If there is something missing today, we welcome your valuable comments for improvement next time. ”

5. This morning, I was eating buns in the company restaurant, and a female colleague sat next to me and said, "Last night I dreamed that you drove the colorful clouds to see me." I blushed, "Huh? Female colleague: "You still stick your tongue out at me." Me: "Haha, am I so naughty?" Female colleague: "Well, at that time, you were crouching at the feet of Erlang Shen." "I...

6, fat is very thin, in order to train muscles he practiced taekwondo, now it is a black belt. Tonight, Fa Xiao asked me to go to Quanjude for dinner. Seeing a fat girl on the road, Fa Xiao suddenly stopped. Just feeling strange, I saw Fa Xiao suddenly blushing and said: "Finally saw this mother-in-law, when I was in school, this guy often beat Lao Tzu to squat in the corner of the wall and cry, today I can finally repay my sorrows!" "After saying that, despite my persuasion, he went up and dragged the fat girl's hair to a small alley... After a burst of crying wolf howl, a small gust of wind ran over and shouted: "Run, Lao Tzu still can't kill her, and her front teeth have been knocked out by her!" ”

7. The father-in-law suffered from severe depression and could not open his mind to drink the enemy and kill himself. The mother-in-law became a widow, and because she could not stand the lonely life, she remarried to an old bachelor in the village and gave birth to a little boy. The little uncle is particularly naughty and often makes his hands and feet very dirty. Every time the mother-in-law had to wash him, it was particularly difficult. One day, the mother-in-law thought of a good way to cover the little uncle's hands and feet with glue, and then blow dry them immediately with his mouth. Finally, slowly peel off, the hands and feet will become particularly clean. So my mother-in-law bought a big box of glue...

8, the father-in-law bought a body to guess eleven out of five in 5.4 million, and divorced his mother-in-law, crazy pursuit of a female student who just graduated from college. He directly took out 2 million and put it in front of the female students, but the female students were not moved and directly refused. There was a young guy who called and texted schoolgirls every day, often took her out to play, and finally ended up with her. The schoolgirl smiled and said, "Sometimes, money is not complete!" As soon as the words stopped, the female student got into the young man's private plane and said lightly: "A lot of money is perfect." ”

#Funny# #搞笑段子 #