You're sure to hear the phrase a lot, "Be friends with your bad emotions." But when you're in a vortex of anger, sadness, anxiety, do you really know what to do? Today, eight diagrams show you how to truly be friends with your difficult emotions in the way of contemplative self-care.
Think of your body as a house, and think of difficult emotions as guests visiting your home. If shame, fear, and anger are knocking on your door, how do you usually react? "Get out!" "You've found the wrong door!" "Please don't look for me" "I'm not home.
These are states of confrontation: I don't want you to come in, or I don't even want to see you. How do you really welcome these guests you don't like? You can practice in the following stages.
Stage 1: Curiosity, Exploration
In addition to pretending not to be there and not letting the other person in, you can try to see who is coming through the cat's eye or the access control intercom. People on the outside might answer: I'm "sad." So you know his name.
The second stage: feeling, confrontation
You know his name, and maybe you can try to open the door and let him in, but only let him stay in the hallway, just like you did when receiving a courier. Although your body and emotions are not very comfortable, there will still be resistance in your heart, fearing that this guest will not leave after breaking in, but you have begun to feel this unwelcome guest.
Stage Three: Allow
Then you can try to think like this: Come here, since you are coming, you can stay in this room for a while, and you can go wherever you want. This stage is called – allow. Allow the sad guest to wander around the room, allow his body and emotions to feel this way at the moment. Really understand what is called sadness. This is actually not easy.
Because of the sadness that this guest is wandering around your house, you yourself have to continue to be there. This guest may not be so flattering. But we can put our hands on our chests and care for ourselves. At the same time, I believe that this guest will not bring any more harm, he just makes you a little uncomfortable.
Stage Four: Becoming Friends
When grief comes again and again, when you become more familiar with the above few steps of experience, and when your inner security is increasing, there will be less and less confrontation. Maybe next you'll want to hear about this guest why he's here and what he wants to tell you.
So, you may be willing to invite him to sit down, drink a cup of Pu'er tea, eat some chestnut cake, and talk to you. Maybe he has something very important to say to you, maybe he brings a very important message. For example, maybe grief will talk to you – you really need to take a break, you really need to put down something.
Later you may have become friends with this guest. Maybe after he finishes what he wants to say to you, the mission is achieved, and he will not come later.
Maybe he'll come back next time, but you're so familiar with him, and you know the purpose of his trip, you can say to him—Ah, sadness, you're here again, and I know you're here to remind me that I'll do it, that I'll take care of myself. Come in, sit down, have a cup of tea.
This metaphor between the landlord and the guest seems very simple and smooth, but it is actually very idealistic and cannot be completed in a day in real life. Sometimes, it may not be a sadness, but a group, and even other emotions are dragging the family and mouth together.
If your house is not big enough, you can choose to have one guest come in at a time. You can also ask yourself, is now a good time to open the door? Throughout the process of change, you can make your own choices, and at the same time, you need to give yourself a lot of care and support you through the whole process.
Practicing self-care is like boosting your emotional immune system, while suffering is like vaccines that activate and help you train and build your own emotional management system. #你情绪低落时是怎么处理的 #
