1, this afternoon, I went to Starbucks with a girl, the woman is a shop, very beautiful. Since it was a blind date, I didn't have to chat with her for a while, and finally she asked me if I was right

1, this afternoon, I went to Starbucks with a girl, the woman is a shop, very beautiful. Since it was a blind date, I didn't have to chat with her for a while, and finally she asked me if I was satisfied with her? I was stunned for a moment and said: You are the girl with the highest IQ I have ever seen, but I like girls who are stupid, girls are too smart, I am afraid that children will not have food to eat in the future, I am willing to be a brother with you. She was stunned for a while, raised her arm and gave me a big mouth, said a blind stream and ran... Sure enough, she was a very smart girl, and she really couldn't afford it.

2, I told the nurse: pretending to be a girlfriend once thirty thousand, she agreed, the result was less than three months she ran to me angrily and asked me, how long are you thirty thousand times, it will not be a lifetime. I asked her how long you thought it would be appropriate, and she smiled and said, "As long as you don't want the jewelry your parents gave me back, it will take as long as possible." It feels like it's a long-term plan!...

3, I am a beauty-loving beauty expert, just said to my husband: "I want to buy eye cream, eyeliner, mascara..." My husband said: "Baby, I don't think it's necessary." I was angry: "You're upset about money?" You don't love me anymore! Husband: "Money is something outside of the body, I just think that when I pay my salary, I don't feel like hiding it, so you don't have to make your eyes so bright." ”

4. The psychologist asked: "If there are 1 billion properties, a mansion, a Maserati, a 500 billion company, which one do you choose?" Patient A: "I choose 1 billion yuan of property, and money can solve the problem." Patient B: "I chose Maserati so I would have a girlfriend." Patient C: "I chose a 500 billion company and ran it even better than Wanda." Me: "I just need if." ”

5. When I came home from work, I saw a small couple taking a taxi on the side of the road. I stopped the car and asked: Where to go? The girl said: Master, is it okay for you to go? Me: Sorry, not along the way. I was about to drive when I heard the girl say to the boy: "Blame you, tell you to watch an earlier movie, and now you won't be unable to go back to school." The boy said without hesitation: Or I will not return tonight. Hearing this reminds me of my student days, alas! I decisively rolled down the window and said to them: I remember that I am going to your university to do something, get in the car, let's go!

6, some time ago the company has a very important contract to talk about, the boss can not go away to let the company's most clever me go. Because I didn't have a driver's license, the helpless boss had to let his young daughter drive me with me. Seeing that he was almost there, he suddenly rushed out a dog after a turn. Seeing that it was about to crash, the boss's daughter stopped a sharp brake, and what was even more unexpected was that the dog actually braked. I was looked at with a smile and said: Haha, you see, the dog will brake! Then, the next day, I started looking for a job again!

7. When I first interacted with my husband, one of his female friends came to play at home, and we invited her to dinner. They laughed and played together during the meal, and she even tapped my husband's head with chopsticks, sneering and hating. This is completely fooling me! So I smiled and said, "Sister, you are so gentle, I am like this when he makes me angry." After saying that, he grabbed the spoon and knocked it his husband's head, almost knocking him unconscious.?

8, the old sister of the year, in school how to say is also a flower, fascinated by thousands of beautiful boys. But now the elder sister has entered the grave of love, and the weight is growing day by day. That day, my brother-in-law came to our house for dinner, and my father pulled my brother-in-law to drink a few drinks, and as a result, my brother-in-law's alcohol intake was not enough. He put his arm around his father and said, "Dude, I'm going to return the goods, your daughter has only been fat for a few years." After saying that, I suddenly swept to the side of the shock and said: It is okay to change the goods! The next day, looking at the expressionless old sister, there was only one sentence left: I drank too much, and I didn't know anything.

9, the brother's mother urged the brothers to start a family early all day, and let her wrap up her grandchildren early. The buddies couldn't bear to go on 20 blind dates a day and finally found a girlfriend. Six months later the buddy and his girlfriend got married. After marriage, the daughter-in-law asked the buddies: I married you, do you have a reward? Dude: One is to buy you a diamond ring, the other is to go out on a trip, you choose one. Daughter-in-law: I want diamond rings, not only to buy good goods, I plan to go abroad to buy them.

10, and my husband met in Sanya tourism, he just divorced to relax, my husband has a daughter of an ex-wife, but we are still married. The morning after we were newly married, I laid back in bed and told my husband to carry me to the bathroom. My husband listened to the second word, got up and carried me to the bathroom. When I came back, I found that my girlfriend had woken up, and my husband smiled and asked: Are you awake, do you want to go to the bathroom? Daddy packs you up. The girl saw a look of anger and climbed down the window and said: I will go myself! "

11. Watching my wife sleep at night, I quietly came to the baby room. In the baby room, I looked intently at my daughter, and her face was full of emotions: unbelievable, incomprehensible, difficult to guess. My wife had tears in her eyes, and she came over and hugged me and said, "I know what you're thinking!" "I replied: I really didn't expect someone to make such a great crib, but it only sold for 300 yuan." Wife.....

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