1, I put Moutai wine in a mineral water bottle, went to the restaurant to eat, just happened to meet a few years have not seen the hair small. I gave Fa Xiao a full glass, Fa Xiao took a look, thinking it was loose wine, a little

1, I put Moutai wine in a mineral water bottle, went to the restaurant to eat, just happened to meet a few years have not seen the hair small. I gave Fa Xiao a full cup, Fa Xiao looked at it, thought it was loose wine, a bit of a look of contempt, but still drank. After a while, he couldn't help it and said: Waiter, come to the bottle of Maotai. Then he unscrewed the lid and filled each other with a cup, took a sip and said, "This is much more comfortable to drink." ”?

2. Xiaoming wants to sleep late, and is afraid of the teacher's roll call. So he hid in the bed and sent a message to the dormitory group: "Boss, the teacher will call you to help me agree to it." Boss: "I'm sorry, the dormitory is in the nest." Xiaoming: "Second brother, help me answer." Second brother: "Like the boss, I am also in the bed." At this time, the third brother of the dormitory spoke: "Don't ask the old sixth, no one in the dormitory is out today!" Bob: ...?

3, we have a thirty-five-year-old sister in our office who is not yet married, the eldest leftover woman, this day at work she suddenly told us that she found a boyfriend, and said that she will get married every spring. Everyone advised her not to be too hasty, but she couldn't listen to a word. At this time, a male colleague who had not spoken said: I heard that next year is the year of widowhood, which is not suitable for marriage. The eldest sister was stunned for a moment and said indifferently: What is there to be afraid of, and it is not yourself who is dead!?

4. When I was in college, there was a classmate with a special female man in the class, who usually treated us like a brother-in-law. After work today, we both went to drink bubble tea together, and the girl dressed as a lady and listened to me very gently while drinking milk tea. During this time, I forgot what I said, and she wanted to "hum" like a little girl. Did you know that a hum hummed out of the nose with a small black pearl mixed with snot? At that time, I was embarrassed, and I could only hold back if I wanted to laugh.

5, friends go to the barbecue restaurant to eat barbecue, after eating the checkout when the waiter comes to prepare a number of signs to calculate the account. He looked at the table, then at his friend, and asked in surprise, "You've been in for so long and you've eaten a bunch?" The friend glanced at the waiter, then pointed to the sign on the table and said, "Settle the account." The waiter said helplessly: "Well, it's eight cents in total." "Don't look for it!" The friend handed him a dollar and walked out with a freshly woven bamboo basket. Friends shout in their hearts: God starve to death our craftsmen!

6, Da Zhuang used to like a girl, now she is a female star, when she graduated, she gave Da Zhuang a greeting card that said: You. Now da zhuang is thirty years old, and da zhuang has established a family and has children. One day at home, the girlfriend turned out this greeting card and said: Isn't this just a word for you? Da Zhuang smiled and asked: Then do you know what this means? Girlfriend: Isn't there a you in your heart? Suddenly enlightened, dark tears, at night Da Zhuang handed this greeting card to his wife and said: Honey, this word you wrote back then is really beautiful!

7. Recently, I have always found a suitable job, considered it at home for several days, and said to my mother: "Mom, I want to open a live broadcast and be an Internet celebrity." The old mother was stunned and said, "But the investment is too big, we can't afford it." I quickly corrected: "Not much investment!" The old mother said slowly: "Mom means that the money lets you go for a facelift!" "I...

8, some time ago with the sisters to the Oscar bar to drink when met a handsome DJ, we added V letter chat ambiguous, and then met together. By chance, I saw that this DJ's mobile phone had a lot of ambiguous objects, and I ran home in a hurry to cry with my sister. I wrapped my sister around me and cried and said: I like him, I know he is a scumbag, but I just can't forget him, what should I do, sister... The elder sister patted me and said calmly: At night, you help me ask him out, and I talk to him... Just like that, the elder sister chatted with him for one night. The next day, the elder sister brought him to me and said: The problems are solved, call the brother-in-law!

9, to Starbucks has no place, had to share the table with a couple. The girl was very beautiful, so I looked at it twice, and the man was not happy. He put a car key on the table to scare me, and I took a closer look, and I went, Maybach! So I put the car keys of the Red Flag L5 on the table, Ferrari, Lamborghini, several car keys I dropped on the table. Then the man led the woman to the gray slip away... Oh, what are you with me with a key!?

10. My husband has been working at the grassroots level of the company for 10 years, and some time ago, he introduced his sister-in-law who just graduated to the chairman, and then he was promoted to manager. Later, we lived a carefree life and changed to a big house in the city center. I didn't go to work that day, and after dinner in the evening, my husband accompanied me for a walk outside. When I was waiting for the red light, I suddenly remembered a small video and told a joke to my husband. I said that a man ran a red light and was hit by a car, and then the irony was that there was a puppy next to him waiting for the red light. The husband was stunned after listening to it, and then said: Is this a joke? Why do I feel so embarrassed?

11. In the morning, I chatted with my daughter-in-law over breakfast. Me: I had a dream last night. Daughter-in-law: What did you dream about? Me: Dreaming that you are wearing high heels. Daughter-in-law: Ha, I am thinking of buying a pair of high heels today, and I am a little worried about not being able to wear them, it seems to be a hint from God, ah, I must buy them. Me: After you listen to me, I dreamed that the pair of high heels knelt down and begged me to save her life, otherwise it would fall at your feet, and I would definitely not be able to hold on to her waist for a day!

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #