1. The third aunt was hit by a Bentley on the road and became a vegetative person, and the owner lost more than 6 million yuan. After the third uncle got the money, he immediately got along with a 25-year-old flight attendant. Two people now

1. The third aunt was hit by a Bentley on the road and became a vegetative person, and the owner lost more than 6 million yuan. After the third uncle got the money, he immediately got along with a 25-year-old flight attendant. Now the two have been dating for more than half a year and plan to have a wedding. The flight attendant's parents said: Then the bride price is set at 600,000! The third uncle also agreed, and on the day of the engagement, the third uncle looked at both families with a dowry of 600,000 yuan: Isn't this dowry money from our family? Why do your parents also have 600,000? The flight attendant said with special grievance: My mother said that I married you to accumulate eight lifetimes of virtue, and you married me to pour eight lifetimes of mold, and the bride price can not let you out.

2. There is a young woman in the unit who is divorced, when she leaves work this night, she secretly stuffed a card for me, I walked to the place where no one was, it was a hotel room card. My heart skipped a beat, and I thought to myself, is this the legendary peach blossom luck? At this moment, the boss stopped me and told me to make a plan, which I would have tomorrow morning. I was resentful, but there was no way, who made her my boss? The boss Shi Shiran left the company, I thought for a moment, and found another female colleague, Ame, who has strong business ability, and if she is asked to help me do this plan, it will definitely be no problem. Ame smiled and said, is there a date at night? I smiled and said nothing, Ame nodded and said, if you want me to work overtime to help you, you give me two thousand yuan. I didn't say a word, and directly transferred two thousand yuan to her. She patted me on the shoulder and said, you go, the plan is handed over to me.

3. When I was in high school, my father took me from my grandmother's house in the countryside to the city and sent me to study in key middle schools. Our chemistry teacher is a little old man, and some time ago we were hospitalized for appendicitis surgery, and the school gave us a new teacher. The new chemistry teacher has just graduated from college, and the class is particularly humorous, mingling with his classmates. In chemistry class today, the teacher walked into the classroom and shouted, "Hurry up and close all the windows!" The class was suddenly confused and did not understand what the teacher meant. As a result, the teacher took out the test paper from yesterday's exam and said: "This time the chemical score is particularly poor, and I am worried that some students will not be able to open it!" ”

4. This afternoon, a friend asked me: What should I do if I quarrel with someone else and can't argue with the other party? I said: Teach you a special way to cow, that is, to sniff melon seeds! Then, the friend is full of question marks. I explained: You don't say a word, smile while sniffing melon seeds, sniffing at the other party's doubts about life, laughing until the other party's heart is hairy, like a great enemy pressing the situation, but unfathomable!

5． After the end of last year, our company will carry out the opening ceremony and set off firecrackers. There is a firecracker too long, the lead is afraid of lighting after the time is too long, arrange a colleague to divide into two points. Before the ceremony could begin, firecrackers were heard firing in unison, plus the crying wolf howls, and the hands of the brothers were all blackened. He said: The middle lead of the firecracker is too strong, and it is constantly pulled. Suddenly I remembered that I usually broke the rope and broke it as soon as the lighter burned, so I took out the lighter, and then the firecrackers fired in unison.

6． The girl jumped back home and shouted: Daddy, I'm back! Dad: How did you go? Girl: 40 points on the test! Dad: Then you have to keep up with the study, obedient Dad will buy you a dress. Then the son came home: Dad, I'm back. Dad: How many points did you get on the test? Son: 90! Dad yelled: Why not 100 points! Give me a penalty stop!

7. I've been with my boyfriend from college for five years now, take him home today and ask my mom what she wants if she gets married. The mother said happily: Marriage is good, marriage is good, the bride price is 200,000 on the line! I listened to a shock, the mother is really cruel, ready to help the boyfriend bargain Mom paused, and then said: In case not, 20 is OK, your happiness is the most important! I...... 20 bucks, too much drama! Looking at the boyfriend's flattered expression, ready to let the mother raise the price again...

8. The folding umbrella bought by a friend has not been used for a year. This afternoon finally came in handy. The friend stood in the doorway and pressed the button on the umbrella. Only a whimper was heard, and the umbrella flew out two meters away. Only the handle of the umbrella was still in her hand, and the friend was already messy!

9 On this day, Foxconn's door actually came a big handsome man driving a Maserati. I saw that he was still holding a large bouquet of roses in his hand, and several flower-obsessed women rushed to watch. A moment later came out a twisted and pinched humble female colleague. Only to see her blushing face take the flowers and then shyly said to the handsome man: This..... There are too many people here, so why don't we change places. Then the handsome man directly drew out a list and threw it in her face: no time, hurry up and sign it! Business is busy today!

10 After watching so many strategies to chase my girlfriend, I plucked up the courage to start my girlfriend chase today, and waited downstairs for half a day at her house to finally see her coming. According to the instructions on the strategy, a large bouquet of roses was plucked from the back like a trick: "Dangdangdang!" Flowers with beauties! The goddess frowned and took two steps back. Seeing that the opportunity was not good, I quickly took the flowers away and asked, "Are you allergic to flowers?" Goddess: "No, allergic to cow dung." ”

#Funny# #年度搞笑名场面 #