The term "adolescence" is difficult to explain, but parents with adolescent children at home have a deep understanding:
The "fart" who has been attached to you since childhood and revolves around you will suddenly refuse you one day and take his hand again;
The child who was always happy, satisfied, cooperative is gone, and the child in front of him is rebellious, angry, depressed...
All this leaves parents at a loss.
In the eyes of adolescent children, parents are no longer parents, parents are ordinary people, ordinary people like others.
And the excessive control of parents is intolerable for children, who will no longer bow down to "subject to others".
Therefore, parents must remember that for adolescent children, the more you want to control, the more unyielding they are, the more they want to stay away from you.
First, parents adjust their mentality in time,
Always remember the "Three Hearts"
When a child enters adolescence, even in a family with a harmonious parent-child relationship and very wise parents, the turmoil caused by adolescence is enough to reduce the quality of life of the whole family.
Some children's puberty is relatively smooth, and some children are particularly rebellious, which can make the family restless and turn the world upside down.
Such a child is definitely a huge challenge for parents, and once it is not handled properly, the family will enter a "crisis period" and face a "lose-lose" situation...
In the face of the great changes in their children, parents must have full psychological preparation, adjust their mentality, and cannot let their children first sink their breath as soon as they disobey themselves.
When the child enters puberty, even if the parents care about the child, they should cool down moderately, and accompany the child to always remember the "three hearts" - do not care too much, do not be too curious, do not be too enthusiastic.
Be sure to leave a certain amount of space for your child and don't interfere too much.
Because, children want to have their own space, growing up is even more, parents are too intrusive, children will escape!
Children are growing vigorously in adolescence according to the laws of growth, and the way we adults use discipline must also be adjusted.
Just like sitting in the shade of a tree, the shadows will move with the sun, and we have to constantly move our chairs so that we will not be exposed to the sun.
Instead of sitting there and not moving, but having the tree move, it is not in accordance with the laws of nature.
If parents understand the characteristics of some adolescent children and are psychologically prepared, they will not be particularly passive in the face of changes in their children, and they will not be too "more real" when educating their children.
Second, try to stand in the same camp as your children,
Make children more cooperative
In the face of children who "declare war" on themselves from time to time, how should parents discipline them? What kind of wisdom can "lower" the child?
Here, share a real case and see what the father's practices are worth learning from.
Boys are very rebellious during adolescence, and no matter what his parents say to him, he always has reason to refute it. He loves to listen to Western pop songs with fast rhythms, which disgusts his father.
Once, when it was about to take an exam, he listened to deafening music while reclining on the couch reading a book. When his father saw this, he scolded him loudly and told him to turn off the music.
Unexpectedly, the boy not only did not listen, but also slammed the door shut. The father was suddenly very angry, and began to beat his son, which was very heavy, but the son did not ask for forgiveness at all, and his face was stubborn.
At this time, the father was even more angry, he beat his son as if he had no life, the wife was scared and crying, and quickly interceded for the son, but the husband ignored it and did not stop until he was tired.
At dinner that day, neither father nor son ate.
A sleepless night as a father, reflecting on what went wrong with his education, and not understanding why his son has become like this?
Unexpectedly, the next morning, the boy took the initiative to apologize to his father, looking at the wounds on his son's body, the father couldn't help but cry, and even said "I'm sorry" to his son.
When he saw that he had surpassed his son, he felt both regret and shame in his heart, and was determined not to use the authority of the adult to suppress his son in the future.
Later, the boy still did not give up his music hobby, but the father learned to tolerate and accept, he and his son listened to the noisy music together, and tried to integrate into his son's life.
Even once his son asked him to accompany him to a singer's signing party, he agreed.
But at the signing party, the father and son saw a lot of fans who were not very active in their mental temperament and were about the same age as him, and the father asked his son: "Do you want to be like them?"
The son shook his head.
Since then, the son no longer blindly worships those singers, and begins to study hard, and his grades have continued to rise.
In his spare time, the boy began to compose songs and won awards. And the relationship between father and son did not have too big problems, and the father was secretly glad: fortunately, he changed his mind in time, changed the way he got along with his son, and resolved the parent-child conflict...
It turns out that patience, understanding and tolerance are the magic weapons for educating adolescent children.
Therefore, parents should strive to stand in the same camp as their children and keep the communication between parents and children smooth, which is the panacea for disciplining rebellious children!
The best way to win the cooperation of teenagers is to solve problems equally and respectfully.
When adults treat children with kindness, firmness and respect, they tend to cooperate more, and gradually move closer to the values of their parents in the future, returning with a truly mature and independent attitude!
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