Many parents say that adolescence is like opening a blind box, and the children that lucky parents meet can pass smoothly, and the troublesome parents open the children who fly and jump every day.
In fact, whether puberty is a smooth transition or a constant moth is closely related to education before the age of 12.
The children of friends and colleagues ran away from home after a quarrel with their parents some time ago, and their parents searched for four days to find them, and their parents' anxious hair was half gray.
This child has been studying very tightly since elementary school, even on weekends, he is an after-school class interest class one after another, and he rarely comes out to play. The child's grades are not really wrong, but after reaching junior high school, the grades have fallen all the way, and they can't catch up.
Parents feel that the child is too lazy and has not used enough strength, and the child feels that he has used all his strength, and then he simply does not learn, and the family argues about learning every day. After finally breaking out, the child ran away from home in a fit of rage.
The parents called the police and searched for four days before finding them. Parents sighed in the group, fortunately the child just ran away from home, if that's what, the consequences are really unimaginable.
Although adolescent children will undergo huge changes from brain development to heart, some children can spend very steadily, while some children can blow up at any time, and their parents are like water and fire, all of which are actually traces to follow.
The growth of children is to build tall buildings layer by layer, and all children who have moths in adolescence actually have early signs, especially children with these two problems in primary school, none of them can escape.
The first type - children who study too hard
Children who are too ruthless chickens in elementary school are prone to lying flat and rotten in junior high school.
Learning is a gradual, gradual outbreak process, and some children are squeezed too hard in primary school, and by junior high school, the subject increases, the amount of learning skyrockets, and some children collapse.
Especially the kind of children who do their best in elementary school, but their grades cannot be outstanding, it is difficult to find self-confidence in junior high school, it is easy to be discouraged, and they simply lie down and do not learn.
A junior high school teacher I know told me that in recent years, there have been more and more children who are tired of school in junior high school, and there are children who have suspended school almost every year. Most of them are babies who were crazy chickens in elementary school, and their stamina has been squeezed dry, and they simply give up not learning, give up on themselves, and even get tired of school.
The second type - children with problems with parent-child relationships
Any child with a problem with parent-child relationship will definitely not be able to control it when they reach adolescence.
Children who are spoiled and indulged in primary schools are in a state of blowing up their hair in one tube, and even some babies will seize the right to speak, and most parents can only obey everything and have nothing to do.
Children who lack the company of their parents in primary school are very resistant to their parents' control, and they are in a state of not being able to fight or listen, and their relationship with their parents is cold to freezing.
Children whose parents discipline too harshly as children are prone to rebound in adolescence. Everything is against you, and extreme actions occur at every turn, which is very scary.
Unhealthy parent-child relationships can lead to abnormal adolescent growth.
Adolescent children have a huge change in their hearts, they have an increased sense of self, they long for separation from their parents, they look forward to growth, and they hope that everything can be said.
If before the age of 12, the child has a bad relationship with his parents and grows up depressed and hard, he will explode at this stage, become sensitive and selfish, willful and rebellious, and like to work against his parents in everything.
However, children who seek to grow up independently are prone to feel confused and lost, pessimistic, and many children have problems such as depression and boredom with school.
Adolescence is the most important special period in the growth of children, if the child is less than 12 years old, parents should do a good job of paving and guidance, to avoid the future chicken flying dog jump, if the child has entered the age of 12, parents must learn to communicate with the child, to avoid the child all kinds of demon.
1. Pay more attention to things other than learning
If your child is left with only learning in your eyes, be prepared to turn your face at any time during adolescence.
We need to recognize the fact that geniuses are only a minority, and most of our children are just Puwa, so don't get too caught up in grades, but pay more attention to growth outside of learning.
Do children enjoy reading books?
Do you like sports?
Do you have a hobby that you are good at?
Do you get along harmoniously with your classmates?
Is the child optimistic and positive, has a good character and stable mood?
A person's growth is three-dimensional and multifaceted, do not use achievements to beat the child to death, but pay attention to and guide the child from many aspects, so that the child becomes a living person, not a learning machine.
2. Do a good job of accompaniment and logistics
Bottom-line love and plenty of companionship are the most important things for children.
The bottom line of parents will let children know that they can do something and do nothing, have a basic moral bottom line, and have their own principles and boundaries in the world.
Sufficient companionship makes the child's heart full and warm, and sufficient love and companionship makes the adolescent restless child feel at ease, he knows that he has loving parents by his side at all times, and he feels safe.
For children at this stage, parents should talk less and do a good job of logistics, which is the greatest support for the growth of children.
3. Learn to read children
Although each of us has experienced adolescence, when we become parents, we still do not understand children.
When children have signs of early love, how to communicate that children do not resist?
When there is a conflict between the child and the friend, how to comfort the child and teach the child to deal with it correctly?
In the face of future growth, how to guide children to plan?
In the face of immediate learning, how to persuade the child so that he is not disgusted?
The times are developing, and the thinking of children in each era is completely different. Only by continuous learning can we understand children, live in harmony with children, and learn to communicate and dialogue with children.
Adolescence is not a blind box, the foundation of primary school is laid, coupled with the intelligent processing of adolescent parents, the child's rebellion will not be too much.
Therefore, as parents, instead of complaining that God has given us a disobedient child, we should first reflect on education and whether it has laid a foundation for "obedience" for children.