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How to repair the parent-child relationship after arguing with an adolescent child? There is a universal "pit filling" method, which works too well

Some people say that a good family education is to be a listener, a guide, and a leader for children; I said that a good family education is to be friends with children.

Especially if there are adolescent children at home, it is even more necessary to be friends with children and maintain the equality, respect, proportions and boundaries of friends.

How to repair the parent-child relationship after arguing with an adolescent child? There is a universal "pit filling" method, which works too well

But all parents who have experienced their children's adolescence have a deep understanding that getting along with their children is definitely the most illegal art. Some parents are even more miserable, and the children who have been obedient have always risen again and again at this stage, and the demons continue to be demonized, which makes people feel headaches.

If you let it go unchecked by the child's wishes, it is difficult for you to step over your own heart; if you forcibly suppress the child's thoughts and opinions, the day will not only make the chicken fly and the dog jump on the ground, but also it is very likely that the parent-child relationship will break down, and even make the child run away from home.

Anyway, no matter what parents do, it is difficult to make the parent-child relationship with adolescent children motherly and filial piety, a group of harmony. There are some parents who always have a big reason, basket by basket, which may work for young children, but for adolescent children, it is simply the opposite of you going east and I am biased to the west.

More parents often fall into some educational misunderstandings and do not know:

For example, empathy, for some of the child's "out of line" words and behaviors, it is difficult to achieve empathy and empathy in the hearts of parents, and it is even more difficult to appreciate the child's true feelings.

Sometimes, adolescent children have a hard time sharing some information with their parents, and finally pluck up the courage to say: "The new math teacher, the class is a tone, it sounds too boring." ”

Many parents immediately pricked: Aren't teachers in class like this? You are a student, and if you have any qualifications to be critical of the teacher, you listen carefully to the class and do a good job.

How to repair the parent-child relationship after arguing with an adolescent child? There is a universal "pit filling" method, which works too well

At this point, communicating with adolescent children is equivalent to having the sky chatted to death. The child's mood will be extremely boring, and the door of the heart will also be slammed shut, and it is not so easy to open the door of the heart again.

For example, the east wind overwhelms the west wind, parents always think that their children are too shallow in the world, always disagree with their strange ideas or practices, and even have a lofty posture to be reasonable: I have eaten more salt than you have eaten, I have walked more bridges than you have walked, anyway, listen to me!

However, adolescent children begin to have their own reasons and opinions, he does not like to be defeated by your reasoning, their emotional fluctuations are relatively large, too much truth is particularly easy to cause children's disgust.

Parents may wish to understand what are the characteristics of adolescent children first, and then they can prescribe the right medicine and truly play an effective role in guiding.

Focus on image

As long as parents find that their children look in the mirror for half a day, hiding in the bathroom for tens of minutes, it means that the children are already paying attention to their own dress and hairstyle, and care about the evaluation of their own image by their peers. Some children have fallen out with their parents because of cutting their hair, and parents who are unclear should now know why.

How to repair the parent-child relationship after arguing with an adolescent child? There is a universal "pit filling" method, which works too well

Privacy is important

Parents should not try to peek into their children's diaries, or inquire about privacy, even if the child's room door can be stepped in, even if it is good. They crave time and space to be alone and value their privacy more. This is a good explanation for why children lock themselves in their rooms as soon as they get home

Sensitive and fragile

Parents communicate with adolescent children, if they are not careful, they will continue to use the previous commanding tone, while teenagers have a strong sense of self and try to sit on an equal footing with their parents, so a little carelessness will cause them discomfort, sensitive and fragile hearts will immediately collapse, and quarrels with parents, tantrums or cold wars have almost become commonplace.

How to repair the parent-child relationship after arguing with an adolescent child? There is a universal "pit filling" method, which works too well

Righteousness

Teenagers are gradually estranged from their parents, the relationship with their peers gradually occupies an important position, what their friends around them are popular, what children will do, especially their dependence on electronic products such as mobile phones and computers has become stronger.

As a parent, have you ever regretted being impatient and too rude to your children? Ever been annoyed by the urge to hit a child? Do you feel that on the road of family education, you dig too many pits for your children?

Every new parent cannot be without mistakes and mistakes in family education. How to successfully turn fault into an educational opportunity?

Combining the above characteristics, there is a tried-and-true method of making up for it, the more parents use it, the easier it is to win the child's heart, that is, the four-step method of filling the pit.

How to repair the parent-child relationship after arguing with an adolescent child? There is a universal "pit filling" method, which works too well

Step 1: Create heart-to-heart moments

When the parent-child relationship with adolescent children is broken, don't expect them to be soft or admit their mistakes, let alone threaten and suppress, because they don't eat this set at all.

Only when parents adjust their mentality, understand that adolescent children are emotional due to physical, physiological, and psychological changes, and create moments that can open the door of their children's hearts, there will be opportunities for communication, otherwise they will not want to get close to the child with thorns.

Step 2: State the facts as they are

Parents take advantage of the child's opening of the door of the heart, truthfully restore the experience of what happened, without any judgment and accusation, let the child know: you are on his side, you can rely on.

Step 3: A sincere apology

As the saying goes: a slap does not make a sound, parent-child conflicts and conflicts occur, and parents also have unshirkable responsibilities and faults. No matter who is wrong first, as a mature and stable middle-aged person, parents first sincerely apologize and not only take the initiative to take responsibility, but also demonstrate to their children how to reflect on themselves.

How to repair the parent-child relationship after arguing with an adolescent child? There is a universal "pit filling" method, which works too well

Step 4: Explore solutions to the problem

High-quality child companionship requires strategic guidance and consistent adherence to a principle that focuses on solving problems rather than grasping who is right and who is wrong. Home is not a place of right and wrong, but a place of intercession.

When discussing solutions with your child, you can use heuristic questions to initiate your child's self-directed thinking, rather than directly forcing the answers into your child.

In short, we must communicate according to the child's meaning, do not easily refute, accuse, and draw conclusions, and then seize the teachable moment to guide the child to think about their own views and opinions. For adolescent children, it is important to make their own decisions!

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