1. A woman was caught by her husband on the spot, and her husband brandished a kitchen knife and asked her: "What did you say before you died?" She said, "This is the end of the matter, if you want to kill, you will be cut down, and you will not say anything."

1. A woman was caught by her husband on the spot, and her husband brandished a kitchen knife and asked her: "What did you say before you died?" She said, "It's over, if you want to kill, you have to be slashed, and you, the untrustworthy person, have nothing to say." Husband: "When did I stop talking?" Wife: "Didn't you say you wouldn't come back today?" ”

2. The little uncle returned from playing all night and fell asleep on the table during class. When the teacher saw the little uncle lying on his stomach, he called out his name to let him get up and answer the question, and the classmate next to him woke him up. The god-like buddy stood up in confusion, wiped the inside of the desk, and then roared angrily: Who stole my keyboard! The teacher was so angry that he asked the parents to tell them that they could not teach such students.

3. After graduating from the senior high school, the sister is on the front stage of the supermarket. Tonight it was eleven o'clock after work, when her husband called: "Wife, I am going to pick you up from work now, there are bad people on the road." The sister was secretly happy in her heart: "I have been married for more than ten years, and I can't imagine that you are still very sweet." Her husband hurriedly explained: "You misunderstood, didn't you pay your salary tonight?" The sister was suddenly disappointed: it turned out that she had an idea about money.

4. That year, when I was engaged in objects, I played with my daughter-in-law for the first time until I went back very late. When I sent her back to the dormitory, I knocked on the door for half a day, and the housekeeper aunt just ignored it. The daughter-in-law said casually: This old lady is really unkind! Who knew that the daughter-in-law had just finished speaking, and the housekeeper opened a window under the roof, and the aunt stuck out her head and shouted at the daughter-in-law: Hey! Girl, we said okay, the hundred dollars you gave me just won't open the door! But I didn't say that I had to scold you! You have to say that you have to be scolded, I don't want to do this price...

5. Brother Liu of our village won the lottery not long ago when he bought a lottery drift, and became an upstart in the village overnight. He went to eat at a fancy restaurant, and the waiter asked him: We have another bottle of 82-year-old Lafite. Upstart: How much is it? Waiter: At that time, the price of 990,000 yuan was auctioned, do you want to open it? The upstart said without hesitation: Open!! You open!! You open... He didn't finish his words, and the waiter was very happy, holding the bottle "Snap!! "The lid was opened. The upstart went on to say: What are you kidding!! I only won 1 million in total!!

6, quietly changed the landline ringtone at home to "Bad Woman", and the mother-in-law frowned when she heard the bell. On this day, I heard my mother-in-law secretly calling, and the other party said: "Hello! Mother-in-law: "Hello, Miss, I want to handle a CRBT business." The other person: "Okay, what song do you want?" Mother-in-law: "One world." The other party: "Bao Apologize, ma'am, we don't have one world, there's only "Two Worlds" here." Mother-in-law: "Are you bundling?" Can I just have one? The other person: "No, ma'am, 'Two Worlds' is the name of the song." Mother-in-law: "Oh, can it be cheaper to take it apart and sell it?" ”

7. On the night of the dark wind, Fang Zhan and Shi Tai had a big fight over some trivial matters. Fang Zhan went to sit downstairs in the community, and it was still snowing outside. Shi Tai came out and looked at it and said: What's wrong, I don't eat anymore? Fang Zhan gambled and said: If you don't eat, you will be full when you drink the northwest wind! Then Shi Tai went back and spoke to the little monk in the house: It's cold outside, send a mask to your master, don't hold him up!

8, the bus I saw a beautiful woman next to the seat empty, I smiled and sat down. A very positive and beautiful girl, wanted to talk but did not know what to say, did not expect the girl to speak first. She said, "Handsome guy, do you have gum?" I said, "Yes, yes!" The girl said, "Then can you eat one?" You breathe a taste! "I...

9. Today, the abbot went down the mountain to huayuan, and found a bank card on the road, and it was written on the back: "Having money is willful, and the password is 594188!" The abbot was ecstatic, so he went to the nearest bank to withdraw the money! The counter lady asked, "Hello, how much do you want to take?" More than 50,000 require an ID card. So the abbot had the courage to say, "Take 49999!" Then the counter lady took out 49999 and handed it to the abbot: "Take your money, there are 950001 left in the card!" "Oh I went, it turns out that Kari really has money, or a whole 1 million!"

10. In high school, the same table was a very cute little girl, who often wrote something in a notebook. Once when she went out, the notebook didn't come, and I opened it curiously and looked at it. I didn't expect the notebook to be full of my name. It turned out that the same table had a crush on me, which made me very happy, and it seemed that I was still very attractive. When I came back from the same table, I couldn't help but smile at her at the thought of her crushing me, and the same table looked at me in surprise. Later, I thought that the boy should take the initiative, and then confessed to her, but I did not expect that the same table directly refused. I asked her heart-wrenchingly: Don't you like me, why are you rejecting me? The table mate blushed and asked, "Who said I liked you?" I asked: Then why do you write my name in your notebook? The table stuttered and said: That's because... Because you're so annoying, I can't beat you, just... Just write your name and scold you out of anger. "

11, tomorrow to go to a friend's wedding, I am in the room to try on clothes, my husband is sitting on the sofa watching TV series. I asked my husband: Husband, do the clothes I wear look good? The husband didn't look at it and said: Generally. Seeing that my husband didn't pay any attention to it, I gambled and said: Forget it, I'll go buy a good-looking one now! When my husband listened, he immediately came to the spirit: Alas, I didn't look carefully just now, and I think it looks very good when I look closely... It's pretty good-looking...

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #