My sister-in-law recently lived in my house because of her divorce, and it just so happened that my wife was not at home when she went abroad to play. On this day, I was left with my sister-in-law and my sister-in-law at home. One night the two of us watched TV together, and we did

My sister-in-law recently lived in my house because of her divorce, and it just so happened that my wife was not at home when she went abroad to play. On this day, I was left with my sister-in-law and my sister-in-law at home. One night the two of us were watching TV together, and we talked about how much money she had spent on her divorce. The sister-in-law said: Over the years, her husband has made a lot of money, the family car and house are bought by her husband, even if he follows other women, I will not covet his money. After the divorce, I only got 70 million, which is a small amount of money for him. I was shocked when I heard it and didn't know what to say.

2 When I went out on a vacation, my brother put a hundred dollars and a note on the living room table before leaving. Words to the thieves: Don't bother! I can't find any money in our house, and you can't find it, and this hundred dollars gives you pocket money. The house next door is a local tycoon, you know! After returning from the tour, the brother was surprised to find that the money on the table had become two thousand, and the note was still on it. The message above the thief reads: In view of your honesty, this is the information fee for you, please laugh at it!

3 I asked my girlfriend, "Baby, your grades are improving so fast, it's so great!" Girlfriend: "My mother accompanies me to the male teacher's house every day to tutor, and the teacher is my mother's classmate, of course, it has an effect!" Curiously, I asked, "What did your mother tell the teacher?" Girlfriend: "Mother said to the teacher that this is your own child, you can't teach well, don't look for me in the future!" ”

4 After my daughter-in-law and I got married, the family status has been declining, and I don't know what happened, I actually ranked first in the family. Outside today, my wife called: Hurry up and come back, my parents are coming!! As soon as I heard that the old man was coming, I rushed home in a hurry, thinking that I could take the opportunity to drink two drinks, and I couldn't help but speed up the pace of going home!! As soon as I arrived home, my wife handed me a spatula, an apron, and smiled and said: My parents like to eat your fried dishes the most, look at yours, dear!! I...

5 A friend asked me to borrow 10,000 yuan, and I transferred it to him on WeChat. At the end of the year, I received his 9999, thinking that one less piece would be one less piece, don't worry! Unexpectedly, his call came: Margot, received it! Originally, according to the bank interest, I had to pay you more than eight yuan, but I deducted ten yuan for WeChat withdrawal, so it was less than 9999. Thinking about the long and long New Year' day, the number is auspicious, I just posted a few more hairs... Listening to the tone of his speech, if I don't send a red envelope to thank you, I am not interesting enough!

6 My wife and I were walking on the road when we suddenly saw a group of people watching a man beating a woman. I quickly ran into the crowd of onlookers, thinking how can a man hit a woman, and I took the man's hand and said: Let go! Stop it! People who were all passing by threw their admiring glances at me. The man turned to look at me, his eyes widened, and said: What? You want to be beaten too, don't you? Seeing him like this, I quickly said: Don't worry! After a while of fighting again, my wife also wanted to see how men beat women.

7 Check the college entrance examination score online today, I scored 698 points!! Instantly feeling relieved, I decided to go to Tsinghua University to study. Before the start of the school, my parents were generous and gave me 80,000 yuan for living expenses. This makes me feel grateful in my heart, thinking that it is not easy for my parents to pull me so big, and now that the money is so difficult to earn, should we think for my parents?? So, I grabbed 80,000 yuan and said, "Dad! mother!! I will definitely spend this money on time every month!! ”

8 I didn't expect that the four-year relationship in college was less than a dime of money, and after graduation, my girlfriend ran away with the second generation of the rich. After three years, I took the bus out today, and I saw an empty seat next to a beautiful woman on the bus. I sat down calmly, and before I could sit still, the beautiful woman said quietly, "Want to talk to me?" I asked, "Why did the beautiful woman say that?" She replied, "There are two of us in this car, and you're blind to me!" ”

9 After many years of marriage with my husband, we gave birth to a cute and beautiful baby daughter. The daughter is a little clever ghost, and every time she is close to his father, she is really worthy of being a little lover. Last night, my young daughter put a piece of braised meat to my mouth, looked at her cute eyes, and instantly felt that it was better to raise my daughter! Seeing that I swallowed it, my daughter cried with a wow: "Mom, I let you blow for me, how do you eat!" ”

10 I saw a girl at the station today, the water spirit! My heart was pounding, and I could no longer look away from her. Watching her drag her bulky luggage alone and look into the distance, dazed and confused, I finally couldn't bear it any longer and strode to her... She said softly, "Beauty, do you want a ticket?" ” 

11 My sister-in-law came to my house to take a bath, and my daughter-in-law, afraid that I would peek, threw me out of the house. I was smoking on a park bench when I suddenly saw a dirty boy. He stared closely at a bag of milk in the hand of a little girl, who threw it on the ground after drinking it. He hurried over to pick up the bag on the ground and put it in his mouth. I thought he was pitiful, when the little boy blew the bag to the ground and slammed it into the ground!!! There was a loud bang, and then the little boy walked away happily!!! I thought to myself: Silly boy, there is so much milk in it that I don't know how to drink, and now it's cheaper for me!!!