1. When I was in school, I experienced an embarrassing thing like a thief. It was my freshman year, and I was in class when my pants were torn and I was ready to change my pants. I was just taking off my trouser belt when I came in

1. When I was in school, I experienced an embarrassing thing like a thief. It was my freshman year, and I was in class when my pants were torn and I was ready to change my pants. Just as I was pulling off my pants, a few girls came in. I had no choice but to carry my pants to the dormitory next door. I was about to unbutton when a few more girls came in. There was no way but to carry my pants to the door of the next dormitory. Because I was holding my pants in both hands and I was in a hurry, I had to kick open the dormitory door and shout at the same time: Is there a woman inside? Are there any women? I saw a large number of girls sitting in the house, looking at me in horror...

2, sent two bottles of Moutai wine, brothers immediately gave his sister to me as a daughter-in-law. We were married for two years and gave birth to Erzi, in order to give Erzi a haircut, my wife spent more than 300 to buy a pusher. Now Erzi went to the kindergarten, and the wife said that Erzi was older, and he began to pay attention to it, and he couldn't take it casually, so every time he got a haircut, he took Erzi to the barbershop. But she was addicted to it, did not cut her hair for a while, and I have not been to the barbershop since then, and my wife has given me the hairstyle she is best at every time - bald head!!

3, netizens: when I was a child, I didn't study well, and the teacher said that I must have not been out when I grew up. I secretly swore at that time that I would go faster and farther than those who studied well. Yesterday I finally fulfilled this wish. On Chang'an Avenue, I met the head of the elementary school class, he was blocked like a grandson, I smiled, pedaled the bicycle and flew away.

4, I am selling insurance, I have a female colleague, once to a more remote company to issue insurance policies to the insured. While taking the elevator, I met three youths, and the elevator malfunctioned, trapping them for half an hour. The female colleague cried at this point: "Mother, those three beasts, just looked at me and fought together for half an hour fighting landlords." ”

5, I used to be obsessed with mobile phone people, I use the computer for more than ten hours a day, but the mobile phone is basically controlled within an hour, basically when I go downstairs to eat, brush a mobile phone. I really can't understand what fun there is in mobile phones. But since downloading the game, then I've been... Without further ado, I'm going to cool two...

6. I worked in Huadian Group for half a year, and I was promoted to supervisor. Not long ago, the chairman took me on a business trip. Staying in a 5 star hotel after arriving at my destination, I met a guy in the aisle. Out of the elevator, he just happened to take the ringing mobile phone, came out of the room, answered first in a very small voice said: "Mom, wait for me a little..." Then he stepped in place for ten seconds, suddenly kicked at the door, and then put the voice normally and said: "Just now in the study room, Mom, now out, what's the matter?" ”

7, Xiao Zhang came home from work last night and found that his wife was meeting with her lover. When Xiao Zhang rushed into the door, the man had already escaped from the window. Xiao Zhang slapped his wife and then ran out of the house to catch the guy. At this time, the old king next door greeted him, pointed to the road ahead, and said, "He ran over there!" Xiao Zhang nodded, and shouted to Lao Wang while chasing: "You also wear some clothes!" If you are naked, you will catch a cold! ”

8, a small couple, the first twins two sons, the couple thought of a daughter, and pregnant with another child, twin sons, born, the couple did not die, continue to conceive, another child, two sons... Now a family of 8 wants food in the cold wind.

9) A student threw an apple core out of the classroom window and accidentally hit the physics teacher. The physics teacher was angry and questioned by the class, but no one admitted. Soon, the physics teacher found the student. He said: "You usually complain that it is useless to study physics, but won't it come in handy this time?" I found the real culprit through the law of parabolism and the law of physical shock. ”

10, a fat otaku said to us angrily: "Weight loss is my lifelong pursuit of the cause!" The person next to him whispered, "There's something wrong with that!" "What's the problem?" "One word missing." "What's the word?"?" "Soap."

11 There were two people rowing in the lake, and they fished a bottle from the water. After opening the cork, a devil appeared in front of the two men, and the devil thanked them for saving themselves and was willing to grant one of their wishes. One of them said, "Turn all the water in this lake into beer." "The water in the whole lake immediately turned into beer." Look at your dirty idea!" Another said, "Now that we're done drinking beer, we're just going to pee in the boat!" ”

12. The Chinese teacher asked the students to use "but" and "but" to construct sentences, and explained: "These two words are inflection conjunctions." 'But' is a small turn, like a small turn, 'but' is a big turn, like a big turn. The student immediately said: "My family only transfers a few small 'buts' to my uncle's house, and to my aunt's house to transfer several 'buts'." ”

13, walked to the mouth of an alley, a beautiful woman greeted me: handsome man, go in and play. After more than thirty years, someone finally admitted that I was a handsome man and a beautiful woman. If I hadn't brought any money, I would have gone in with you.

14, last night after overtime home, are very late, on the street to see a child walking on the road by himself, some concerns about his safety, silently always follow behind, I also picked up a stick. Mo was about to walk to the intersection of a mo person, but the child suddenly stopped and turned to me and cried, "Big Mother, I beg you, I have a thirty-year-old mother on me, and a puppy under the moon, spare me once!" "I turned awkwardly and left...

15, the cousin sold cars in the Bentley 4S shop, last month their group sold a total of 100 cars, all the group first. Then the company rewarded each person with a bottle of drink, and the manager asked a front desk girl to send it to everyone. The employees felt cold, and the sisters were listlessly pushing the trolley one by one. The manager saw the situation and said: No matter the size of the gift is the company's intention, and it is the spirit of the starting point to continue to work hard! Just after saying it, I heard the front desk girl shouting loudly: cigarettes and beer drinks, melon seeds and peanuts eight treasure porridge, come and go foot to let a let ...