1, online love a girlfriend, she looks very beautiful, family conditions are also very good. Within a few days of our relationship, her dad asked me to meet at Starbucks! After I went, her dad pointed to the table

1, online love a girlfriend, she looks very beautiful, family conditions are also very good. Within a few days of our relationship, her dad asked me to meet at Starbucks! After I went, her dad pointed to the cash on the table and said, "That's ten million, please leave my daughter." "Although I love my girlfriend very much, I also know that this cannot be changed, so I have to reach for the money." Unexpectedly, her father opened my hand: "What are you doing?" This money is not for you, I just want to tell you that we are rich and you don't deserve it! ”

2. Divorce cases. The two couples quarreled in court, accusing each other of lying. Judges and lawyers were bored listening. Suddenly, the woman's brush took out a large picture frame from her bag, pointed to the photo of the woman in the frame, and said, "You are brave enough to say it again in front of your mother!" "Everyone present was stunned, saying that it was too late and fast, and the man's brush took out three sticks of incense from his bag and put it on the photo... He also turned his head and smiled at the lawyer: "I knew she would come to this trick!" ”

3, today's salary, I went to the barber shop to change a new hair color. When I got home, I excitedly asked my boyfriend: How about seeing my new hairstyle? After the boyfriend took a look, shook his head, I thought about it, and said: The boss said that if he was not satisfied, he could change it for me for free, but what if it was more ugly? The boyfriend withdrew from the king of the game and looked closely. Seriously: I think it's worth a bet.

4, my mother took me to a rather grand wedding, came back and asked me what I thought. I want to say that that elbow is so delicious. Old Mother Bai I glanced at me and said what I felt besides the elbow, and I thought about it seriously: "The button meat is also delicious." "You don't have any other feelings than eating?" "Also, the bride is ugly, the groom is handsome." "People are so ugly that they can find a husband, what will you do except eat!" ”

5, the mother dragged to the blind date, found that the woman is the first love of college, pretend not to know... The woman's father has been praising me, saying that I have strong working ability, talking and reacting, at this moment my inner thoughts are: Uncle, you forgot that 3 years ago in your yard you chased and beat me, said that I affected your daughter to study for graduate school, and now it is good, take the initiative to send your daughter over;

6, I like the company secretary for a long time, today I confessed to her, so he asked a question. You eat 6/10 and I eat 4/10, so how much do I have to pay? I thought about it and replied: 40 yuan, this is too simple, good luck I am also a graduate of Tsinghua University, how can such a simple difficult me. The little secretary shook his head and said, "Hey, you should have been single and couldn't find a girlfriend." Guys say, where did I miscalculate, why did she say I couldn't find a girlfriend?

7, there is a pit next to the netizen's home, every time it rains, these two crisp faces will come to this puddle to play, and then every time the po lord goes to see them, this simple face jun has posed in such a posture, as if to say: Please ask, can we two play in your puddle? Haha, crisp noodles, can you please stop selling cute

8, the rich woman brought a little girl to the temple to incense, and I don't know what the reason is, the abbot's eight-year-old disciple actually clashed with the little girl. The little girl was angry, so she scolded the little disciple with her heart: "You are so bad, you know that bullying girls, when you grow up, you must be a single dog." Then, the little disciple brushed his lips and said, "A single dog is a single dog, and my master is a single dog, who eats and sleeps and eats every day, not to mention how happy he is." ”

9. When we went to work this afternoon, our boss rushed into our office. Only to see him criticize a girl who was interning at that time! He said, "Look what to do!" The girl said in a very small voice, "As long as you don't look for parents!" "The whole office was instantly quiet, and after a while, many people couldn't help but laugh, even the usual most serious boss laughed, and the girl still looked at us with a confused face...

10, classic things funny jokes, the mother buys vegetables like to go to a fixed stall. Yesterday, she went to buy rapeseed again, and found that although the rapeseed was sprayed with water, it still didn't look very fresh, so she asked the young man who sold vegetables: "Why is this dish not as good as yesterday?" The young man said, "Rest assured, Big Mother, these and yesterday's batch came." ”

11. The actual nature of the parent-teacher conference. The school informed parents that they were going to the school for a parent-teacher conference. The little brother took his mother's hand and said: This year's parent-teacher conference, you don't go! Mom asked: Why? The younger brother said: The nature of the parent-teacher meeting is similar to that of primary three, and it is all destroying family harmony!

12. The teacher assigned the students to write an essay on the Chinese national football competition. The students all wrote very vigorously, and wrote a lot. Only Xiaoming did not write, and the teacher asked, "Why don't you write?" Xiaoming said, "I've finished writing." The teacher picked it up and looked at it, and Xiaoming wrote: "It's raining today, and the football game is postponed!" ”

13, the old man is a businessman, just made a lot of money but suddenly suffered from cancer. In the evening, after eating, the mother-in-law went to square dance, and the old man lay on the bed to rest. The brother-in-law sneaked in, leaned over and whispered in his ear, "Daddy, I'm going to tell you a secret, and you must not tell your mother!" The old man asked curiously, "What secret?" The brother-in-law said mysteriously: "Just from me, I heard my mother and Grandpa Wang next door whispering that you have a terminal illness, and everything will be fine in a few days!" "When the old man listened, his eyes were black and his throat was breathing!

14, Wanda near the opened a Haidilao, every night is particularly full! I went to eat a few times, it was very good, just eat a few times and pull a few times. Yesterday I couldn't help but go again, a clerk walked up to me and whispered: "Is it always diarrhea to eat my family's things?" I was shocked, this clerk seems to be going to expose the inside story of the industry with me, I asked: "How do you know?" He said, "You are in a hurry to eat something before it is cooked, can you not pull it?" ”

15. After work, I saw a little girl at the gate of the primary school and asked the little boy: Will you do the questions for today's exam? Little boy: Yes. Little Girl: So do you play basketball? Little Boy: Yes, yes. Little girl: So what's not to like? Little boy: I wouldn't dislike you. Then the little girl kissed the little boy. I'm Nyima! This B-child is going against the heavens! Love St. A! Go back and think about yourself... Alas, deserve to be single