1. Table Mate: What's wrong with your face? Boy: It was all the teacher who caused it. At the same table, you didn't say that you gave the teacher a hundred yuan, a dollar to buy 1 point, why was he still beaten? Boy: Yeah. Table mate: Teacher

1. Table Mate: What's wrong with your face? Boy: It was all the teacher who caused it. At the same table, you didn't say that you gave the teacher a hundred yuan, a dollar to buy 1 point, why was he still beaten? Boy: Yeah. Table Mate: The teacher didn't agree? Boy: No, the teacher agreed. Table Mate: How did the teacher do it? Boy: I scored fifty points, and the teacher gave me a 150, can I get one hundred and fifteen out of a hundred papers?

2, a careless girlfriend miscarriage, her mother: you buy a few live crucian carp stew soup with seeds in the belly to supplement your girlfriend's body. I went to the wet market to find a company selling live fish, and I: Boss, is there a seed in the belly of this fish? Boss: Then you pick a big belly to buy, generally speaking, you can have. Me: 100 percent. Boss: Brother! I can't always sell you a few fish, I take them all to make a B-ultrasound! Sleeper!! I can't pick up what you're saying.

3, at noon today, I was eating in a restaurant, it was the meal point, and there were many people eating. At this time, a boy came in, pointed to the empty seat next to me, smiled and said: Is this anyone? I said: This is my boyfriend's, he came right away, and then the boy turned around and left. After a while, another handsome man came who also wanted to sit in this seat, and I said: No one is sitting. As a result, this handsome man shouted to the boy who was just rich: There is an empty seat here, you come to sit here.

4, last night, Yubo worked overtime until midnight, so he ate in the downstairs restaurant, just half of the noodles, a strong man of five years and three thick also came to order food. The boss asked: Want a big bowl and a small bowl? Strong man: How big is the big bowl? The boss pointed in the direction of Yubo: the little beauty ate a large bowl. The strong man shook his head and said, "It's too big, I can't finish eating."

5, last night, I asked a mosquito to go to you, let it tell you that I miss you, and asked it to kiss you for me, because now I can't get close to you! It will tell you how much I miss you! You ask me how much I love you? The big bag represents my heart!

6, when choosing a love object, only look at the appearance and do not look at the inner person is not relatively inferior, only look at the inside and do not look at the appearance of the person is not more advanced, there is no inner superiority over the appearance of the truth, only look at the appearance of how? Both are sexual attraction preferences similar to sexual orientation, you can't use your own preferences to judge the preferences of others, can you buy clothes and focus on materials can look down on people who focus on design? Finally, I will summarize this push in four words: people are looking for objects, and they are concerned about your ass.

7, the rich man personally interviewed a man who was three times higher than his own education. Regal: "What is your specialty?" Man: "I'm an expert in machine learning. Regal: "How much does 6 plus 8 equal?" Man: "Equal to 1." Regal: "No, it's equal to 14." Man: "Equal to 6." Regal: "No, it's equal to 14." Man: "Equal to 11." Regal: "No, it's equal to 14." Man: "Equal to 14." Regal: "Come to work tomorrow." ”

8, this person, as soon as he is old, it is easy to hear the back. I remember when I was a child at my grandmother's house, my grandfather wanted to go out fishing, and when I went out to meet the old man next door, the old man and my grandfather said, "Go out fishing?" My grandfather said, "No, I'll go fishing." The old man replied, "Oh, I thought you were going fishing." ”

9. Me: Buddha, the competition between me and my love enemy has reached a white-hot stage, and it is likely that both sides will lose, what should I do? Buddha: Oh, I don't go to hell... Me: I don't go to hell, who goes to hell, right? Are you persuading me to quit on my own to fulfill them both? Buddha: You listened! I don't go to hell ~ Aite who goes who goes!

10, one day the brother-in-law asked a goddess of the company to borrow money: Beauty, can you lend me 100 yuan? Without saying a word, the goddess directly threw a hundred-dollar bill to the brother-in-law. The brother-in-law said: Don't you ask the reason? The goddess said: I am too lazy to ask, remember to pay me back when the time comes! The brother-in-law said with a bad smile: I want to use this hundred pieces to soak you!

11. Migrant workers saw Taishang Laojun in heaven after jumping off the building because they could not get the project funds. Taishang Laojun suddenly made a big gesture of kindness and planned to give the man a wish. Taishang Laojun asked: Boy, do you have any wishes? The migrant worker thought about it: I always heard that cats have 9 lives, so please give me 9 lives! Taishang Laojun said: Well, now your wish has come true! One day, the migrant workers were idle and bored, and wanted to say that they would die and die, anyway, there were 9 lives, just lying on the rails! As a result, a train drove past the migrant workers or died. Why? Because that train has 10 cars...

12, the landlady said that she saw me squeezing the bus to work on the gas, today is already intolerable, she called me to the office and said: "Are you interested?" I put 5 cars there eating dust, you don't want to drive? Have to squeeze the bus? Or did you tick, the old age card, didn't let the driver throw you out? I said: "Leader, it is good to squeeze the bus, and there are many beautiful women on the bus." The landlady became more and more angry, and threw me a car key: "From tomorrow onwards, drive to work, this is the company's regulations!" "I didn't accept it, she said it lightly, just give a car, who will refuel?" Do I have to sell insurance at the end of the year? And I suspect that she gave it to me because she was afraid that her car would not rust. With my IQ of 150, can I fool her?

13, a man riding a bicycle, accidentally bumped into a woman. The man lifted the woman up and said, "Beauty, your luck is so good!" Beauty was furious: "You knocked me down and said I was lucky?!" The man explained: "You know, today I only rode a bicycle on vacation, usually I drive a bulldozer!" ”

14. At a dating conference, I accidentally entered the group of high-achieving students. As soon as I entered, I saw a person asking a question: if a drop of water falls freely from a very high place, will it smash people to death??? Suddenly, the group was buzzing, all kinds of formulas, all kinds of resistance, gravity, acceleration discussion. Seeing that they had been arguing, I asked: Have you not been drenched in rain??? Suddenly there was a dead silence in the group, and then I showed that I had been kicked out of the group.

15, and cousin went to the hospital for spanking injections, and my cousin was afraid. The nurse said, "Don't be afraid, relax, it's okay, it doesn't hurt at all, relax." At this time, the cousin let out a fart. The nurse asked, "What's going on?" The cousin said, "It's so relaxing. The nurse said, "You scared me to death, I thought you were leaking!" ”