I've been talking to my boyfriend for almost two years, he's a classmate of my cousin's and is getting married, but recently I wanted to quit because of the bride price and a series of events. First of all, our two families are about the same, his family has a house in a small county town in Zhejiang, and he is repaying the loan. My family has a house on the outskirts of Mordor, and my parents are paying off their loans. We are all from Anhui. He's 92 I'm 95, he's 30+, I'm 12+. He himself was very picky about the kind of clothes he couldn't buy, and he was okay with me, knowing that I wouldn't do housework and basically didn't let me touch it. I was a little stubborn and he was also very tolerant, but I wouldn't spend a lot of money on me, and at most I was sent 500 red envelopes. Because I have my own salary, I didn't care much about these before. This year is ready to get married now in the talk of bride price, first of all, our hometown bride price is indeed more, the routine is 16.8 18.8 this, my mother considered that we will develop in the magic capital in the future, but now the magic has no room, at the beginning to 20, his family said that they could not take so much. After my mother said 16.8, his family continued to cry poor and said that it could only be 8.8 at most, and finally my father said that he could give 16.8, and the follow-up 6.8 let me return it to his parents, which is equivalent to only giving 10. The purpose of this is because the marriage is done in the old hometown, afraid of the neighbors behind the back, because the grandparents are still there, but also need to take care of their face and my parents will also accompany the marriage 10, and the money given by the first meeting + engagement is also given to us to support the small family. Whatever money his parents gave me, my parents wouldn't take a dime. However, my boyfriend and I argued that we had to say that we had no money, but as far as I knew, he had 15w of his own savings, and I explained to him that my parents would marry me, and that this money was for both of us, and my parents would never embezzle it. He still didn't give up, and said that he had asked him to buy something during the Spring Festival. Because this Spring Festival is the first Spring Festival after our engagement, it is more important, I told him to spend more money, he said that he was ready to spend hundreds of dollars. I told him to let him buy it for 2,000 yuan, and he quarreled because he thought I wanted more things (he went to my house and my parents gave 1,000 red envelopes) I felt very unreasonable, because we talked for almost two years, and this was the only time he spent more than 1,000 on me and my family. Usually, I buy no more than 300 things at my house during the holidays, and the most expensive gifts Bought for me do not exceed 500, but he is still thinking about spending too much. In addition, when preparing for the wedding, considering that two bridesmaids came from afar, I wanted to give a souvenir that was prepared a little. Looked at a woven bracelet with a gold bead on it, worth about 250 pieces. He knew that I was poor and generous, saying that there were originally 200 red envelopes, and souvenirs could be bought casually, not more than 50. I was angry and said that I spent my own money to buy it, and he said that after getting married, my money was his money anyway, or I was spending his money. There is also that I grind my teeth seriously, in case my teeth are worn out, I am ready to go to the hospital to see a protective cover, he knows let me not spend money indiscriminately, saying that it is expensive to see teeth, and can not be medicated. I said I was swiping my medicare card and our company had commercial insurance to reimburse, and he gave up. Now I want to quit marriage, on the one hand, I feel that their family does not pay enough attention to my family, and we have repeatedly given in on the bride price, but his family is still thinking too much. Yesterday I asked my boyfriend to continue discussing this with his parents, and he didn't reply to me. On the other hand, I feel more and more that our consumption concept is too different, and I personally feel that saving is a virtue, but what should be spent is still a flower, but for him, if he can not spend, he will not spend. Now my parents tell me not to be impulsive, is this really my impulse?
Xiaosheng answered:
Obviously not you were impulsive, the whole incident looked down, I have only one question to ask: how did you talk to this kind of person for two years? First of all, the income and expenses problem, his income is obviously much higher than yours, but he is very critical of you in terms of expenses, or he is also very critical of himself, but he values money to a certain extent, basically he is completely unwilling to spend a penny. His overall consumption concept is very cheap, on the one hand, he himself positions himself very cheap, on the other hand, he also feels that you are not worthy. And he said that your money is also his money, so what about him? Is his money yours? This person as a whole does not reflect what is thrifty, but makes everything very cheap and worthless, and it is recommended that you do not hesitate to separate directly.
I am Xiaosheng, a marriage emotional repairist, there are emotional troubles, please click on my avatar, tell me about your grievances, unwillingness, and confusion, I will analyze and tell you how to deal with it.
