1, last night my daughter-in-law played with my mobile phone, saw someone sent me a message, the company's female secretary sent a text message at this time: Zhao Zong I am pregnant... Oh, my God! The daughter-in-law was fried at once, and she had not yet come

1, last night my daughter-in-law played with my mobile phone, saw someone sent me a message, the company's female secretary sent a text message at this time: Zhao Zong I am pregnant... Oh, my God! The daughter-in-law was fried at once, and before she could speak, her wife came up with a slap and scolded her immediately after opening her mouth. After a while, the accountant sent another message: Tomorrow and my boyfriend will go to see my parents, sorry to ask for leave directly to hope for approval,...... Can you finish it all at once?

2, with a female colleague has a good relationship, often jokes, very good for her. Today she ran up to me and said: I like you! I blushed, is this my spring coming? Before I could answer in a hurry, she said again: Eat.

3. Subject 2 Has to change cars every day during the period of study at driving school. When I first got in the car, I asked the coach, "How is the steering wheel a little loose?" The coach said calmly: "You sister, in case of emergency, instead of stepping on the brakes first, you will pull the steering wheel hard." Just when I did not return to God, the coach added: "The mouth is still shouting "Woo, woo, woo..."

4. Soon after a small couple was newly married, the wife complained to her husband: "Mom and Dad are too anxious!" Your mother mentioned the birth of the child again yesterday, saying that she wanted to hold her grandson early. The husband said: "Mom is a little anxious about this matter, but Dad never says anything more." The wife pouted and said, "Dad didn't say anything in his mouth, but he held this "Sun Tzu Art of War" in front of me all day." ”

5, yesterday after work to take the bus, in front of a particularly beautiful girl, the figure is good, then a big brother in front of her shoelaces opened, just crouched down to tie the shoelaces, it happened that the driver a sharp brake, the sister did not stand still and ran directly before riding on the neck of the big brother, the big brother was also anxious "Hey, what's going on, who? "Speaking directly stood up, the beauty did not have time to react directly to the back, I quickly stepped forward to support the beauty's body, just such a strange posture frozen, the whole carriage was quiet, including the driver were looking at the three of us stupidly...

6, the chairman looked at me beautifully, often took me out to play. That time the chairman took me to climb Mount Tarzan and took a beautiful photo of the sunrise, which I posted to a certain sound. After a few minutes, I received several replies, so beautiful, so good, I wanted to use them as screensavers. Suddenly, a comment said unceremoniously: Sister, can you send some pure pictures, each of you is a little destructive in the mood. I was so angry that I couldn't resist scolding this one comment. After half an hour to look at it, the praise on that comment is higher than the pictures I sent!

7, the rich often give a small Internet celebrity a gift, the small Internet celebrity eventually married the rich. Then because the age difference is too large, the two often quarrel, and the basic rich buy a LV bag. A few years later, the rich people talked with the small Internet celebrities, and as a result, they bought a lot of packages of small Internet celebrities and ignored the rich. The little Internet celebrity said: "Don't you think I'm older?" Don't touch me! "Then push the rich man aside." The rich man's brain twitched and said, "Wife don't get angry, okay?" I don't mean that, even if you're old, it's still me! ”

8, the buddy wife wants to be promoted, and follows her chairman to a foreign business trip alone. When he returned, the buddies were very angry, had a big fight with his wife, and then prepared to run away from home. So I found hundreds of pieces of private collection, took my daughter, put my mobile phone at home, and left a note: Gone! Finding a place to live, his daughter asked: Will Dad and Mom come to us? Dude: Yes, because Dad left a note. Her: Is that right? I looked at it and nodded: Yes, that's it. Well? Something seems to be wrong...

9, shopping on the way to suddenly stomach discomfort, found the public toilet to throw the bag to the boyfriend ran in, finished a touch of the pocket actually no paper, mobile phone in the bag again. Along with the numb legs, I waited for ten minutes, only to hear movement outside, red face asked about it, it turned out to be the cleaning aunt, explained the situation Aunt handed me some tissues! As soon as I opened the door and walked out, my numb legs made me kneel on the ground, and my aunt quickly picked me up and said, "Girl, just a few pieces of paper, you don't have to do such a big gift." "I...

10, the beginning is always beautiful, and then there is boredom, habits, betrayal, loneliness, despair and sneering. Once eager to get along with everyone. Later, how glad I left. Once upon a time, for a brief time, we thought we believed in such people, only to learn later that it wasn't anything else, it was just lying to ourselves.

11, my mother called me and asked: Child, is Valentine's Day this year alone? I said, "Mom, can you please stop making trouble?" Do you know how many people chase me? Have I ever lived on my own? I have been in several batches a day, and I have to take time to eat with my family at night, my mother said: Child, mother is rare in your point, no one chases, you can still blow.

12. Netizen: The reporter interviewed at the exit of the railway station: This passenger, did you buy a train ticket? Passenger A: Got it! What about the one next to it? Passenger B: Bought. The reporter interviewed more than a dozen people at random and was happy to find that everyone had bought train tickets to go home

13, my sister is going on a blind date, because she is afraid of embarrassment, so she took me. After meeting, we found that the other boy also brought a man, which should also be afraid of embarrassment, so we sat down to chat. After a few minutes, my sister made an excuse to leave first, and the other party also made an excuse to leave. The man and I were okay, so we talked for a while, and then we felt good and left contact information for each other. When I got home and said this, my mother was very happy, saying that she had planned to let me go on a blind date, and my sister was a cover!

14, my lovely daughter finally went to school, became a primary school student, strict with herself, really serious. One day, my colleague went to school and saw my daughter in the hallway, and after talking to my daughter several times, my daughter walked away without a word. My colleague came back and said to me strangely, "When I went to your house, your daughter liked to talk to me, so why did you go to school and ignore me?" When I got home, I asked my daughter about it, and she said to me with a small face: "The teacher said, don't talk in the hallway"!