1. When I was a child, I lost a fight with my brother, so I learned to take a kitchen knife from the sample on TV and sat in the yard to grind viciously. When Mom and Dad came back in the evening, it was already dark, so they listened to the yard

1. When I was a child, I lost a fight with my brother, so I learned to take a kitchen knife from the sample on TV and sat in the yard to grind viciously. In the evening, when my parents came back, it was already dark, and I listened to the movement of sharpening knives in the yard, and occasionally there was a cold light flashing, and my mother was scared "wow" and threw herself into my father's arms. Put it this way, I thought I could get into Guinness for that time when my parents gave me a mixed trick.

2, one day, the neighbor's aunt came to make a small report with grandma, saying that Grandpa was in the grocery store again, picking up the new little sister. Grandma smiled and said: You look at the big yellow dog at the door, every time you see the electric car passing, it chases after it. Did he catch up? Even if he catches up, can he ride?

3. Today, almost every panda in the world belongs to China. In the wild, giant pandas only live in China, but captive giant pandas have been sent as gifts to zoos around the world since the 1950s. But since 1984, almost all pandas have been leased to zoos only for a period of 10 years. As a result, they remain The property of China, as do any captive panda cubs.

4, crush on a bully goddess in the class, gentle and beautiful learning is good. One day, the goddess shyly said to me: You know what? Privately, my classmates said we were a couple. After listening to it, I was very excited, and even a little lack of oxygen, who made the rumor! Let me know, I killed him! You think I really said that, I would be stupid to say that, and then I confessed, we now have three years old sons.

5, after eating enough to loosen the pants belt is a very comfortable thing, so many friends have the habit of loosening the pants belt after meals, but after the meal loose pants belt will cause the intra-abdominal pressure to decrease, the activity of the digestive organs and the ligament load increase, resulting in increased intestinal peristalsis, easy to occur intestinal torsion, bloating, abdominal pain, vomiting, but also prone to stomach sagging and other diseases.

6, go to the river to run, see a big fish trapped by the net, next to the two small fish with their mouths to pull the net to try to save the mother, but how to try is in vain. Their actions deeply touched me, I did the first good thing in my life, jumped into the water to save the mother fish, and felt very happy in my heart, it turned out that this is the feeling of doing good. But the uncle fishing next to me seems to look at me badly...

7, like the roommate, often tired of being together, but I don't know if he is, do not dare to ask, buried in the heart. The senior intern accidentally pulled out a gay novel from his bag, and he couldn't hold back his inner excitement and asked him: "You... Is it? He blushed and nodded in acknowledgement. I jumped up happily and patted him: you said it earlier! Harm Lao Tzu waited so long! Finally I can be with you! He scratched his head: "I'm sorry, you're so ugly." ”

8, the new students enter the military training, stand in the military posture, the instructor said, the eyes should stare at a certain tree on the opposite mountain, the body will not move. Then he was walking back and forth in front of us, and suddenly a female classmate's head moved, and the instructor asked her why she was moving, and the female classmate replied, "You are blocking the tree I am looking at." ”

9, the girlfriend patted less than a month, one night and I walked on the road, she suddenly said to me, do not allow you to say that you are a single dog again, you know, I looked at the girlfriend distressed my eyes a little moved, but still asked her why, then the girlfriend pointed to the two puppies on the side of the road and said, because they are not as single as you, you are not allowed to insult the word dog in the future! Me: What's going on here, it's so infuriating!

10, June 1st, the baby kindergarten performance program. The opening scene is where the children are lying on the ground, indicating that they are sleeping. The other children all got up to perform, and only one child remained on the ground, motionless. It wasn't until the end of the performance that the teacher took the child who was really asleep to the end

11, the magic son's bag always contains a pile of bank cards that I don't know where to pick up. He said that these cards have magic, and since he has these bank cards, the female classmates who originally ignored him are now actively playing with him! There is such a thing! Does this card really have magic??? ..................

12. Yesterday my sister went back to her hometown to get the demolition money and came with her niece for winter vacation. My niece ran to my room with a proud look and said, "Uncle, will you be paid?" Your phone has received balance change information! My uncle is going to invite me to dinner tomorrow, to KFC or Pizza Hut? I looked at the model of the phone my niece was holding, and suddenly felt that this girl had the potential to be a fraudster.

13, the cousin is about to get married, when discussing the bride price, the mother-in-law's family actually asked for 500,000. The cousin was confused and said: I don't have that much money. The mother-in-law smiled and said: "Otherwise, you send a dynamic saying that you are getting married, and we will decide by the number of likes." The cousin agreed, and as a result, he later gave 500,000 and owed 200,000 to his mother-in-law's family...

14. When the community walked around, I met a big brother who took a small Zhengtai for a walk. Xiao Zhengtai: Dad, I did a good job in this exam, my mother will definitely reward me with 1,000 yuan again, I decided to give you 800. The eldest brother excitedly kissed Xiao Zhengtai twice: Good son, you have worked hard. Xiao Zhengtai sighed and said: Everyone is Lao Tzu who works hard to earn money to raise children, and I am a hard worker who learns to earn money for the elderly!