Preface
In traditional Chinese culture, honoring one's parents has always been a very important value, and the expectations of parents and the demands of their children have often become a major issue in family relationships. With the continuous development and change of society, people's perception of filial piety and family relationship is also undergoing some subtle changes, especially in modern society, the diversity of family structure and concepts makes these issues more complex and diverse. Recently, the story of a mother from the countryside has attracted a lot of attention, she has paid a lot for her son and daughter-in-law to take care of the child for three years, but after receiving the 188 yuan red envelope from her daughter-in-law, she has a lot of mood swings, and even began to think about going home to stop helping. Such stories may not be uncommon in today's society, but they touch the emotional pain points in many people's hearts, and trigger in-depth thinking and discussion on family relationships, the concept of filial piety, and the relationship between parents-in-law. So, how should we understand the various emotions and issues contained in such a story?
1. Zhao Sumei's story
Recently, a story about Zhao Sumei, a mother from the countryside, has sparked heated discussions on the Internet. Zhao Sumei is a woman from an ordinary rural family who has always lived a simple and ordinary life. However, three years ago, after her son got married, her life changed drastically. Because the daughter-in-law is from the city, the two settled in the provincial capital after they got married, and in order to facilitate the work of the two, Zhao Sumei took the initiative to help take care of the child's suggestion, and then came to the provincial city to live with the two of them.
In the next three years, Zhao Sumei almost filled the entire family with her own companionship and dedication, whether it was taking care of the children's daily life and diet, or the big and small chores at home, she was able to handle it skillfully, and her daughter-in-law's work and life were also greatly guaranteed. Even in terms of living expenses, Zhao Sumei has been silently supporting, and almost every penny earned by her daughter-in-law is used on herself.
Perhaps in Zhao Sumei's heart, this kind of dedication does not need to be reciprocated too much, because after all, this is her son and daughter-in-law, and being able to bring them a little help and warmth is the greatest satisfaction. However, when the recent Mother's Day came, a "special" gift from her daughter-in-law caused a great fluctuation in Zhao Sumei's heart. On Mother's Day, Zhao Sumei received a red envelope of 188 yuan from her daughter-in-law, and at the same time, her mother-in-law received a gift of a gold bracelet.
Perhaps in the daughter-in-law's heart, such a gift is enough to express her heart, and what Zhao Sumei needs may only be a practical help, but in Zhao Sumei's view, such a difference seems to be an invisible "comparison". Perhaps because of the long-term dedication and care, Zhao Sumei has developed some emotional dependence and needs in her heart, but this so-called "special" gift made her feel a trace of chill and dissatisfaction.
Second, behind the gift
For such a story, some people may choose to think from the perspective of their daughter-in-law, it is not easy for her to be able to experience and care for her in addition to her busy work, and the gift she chooses must be well thought out. However, if we put ourselves in Zhao Sumei's position, we may have a completely different feeling.
In today's society, the giving of gifts is no longer just a formal expression, more often than not, the meaning behind it is the most important. Perhaps in Zhao Sumei's heart, what she needs is not a monetary compensation, but to be able to feel a sincere care and understanding from her daughter-in-law, and this kind of care and understanding is the one that can move her heart the most.
Perhaps in the eyes of many people, everything her daughter-in-law has done is good enough, and the red envelope of 188 yuan can already reflect her heart, and Zhao Sumei's mentality should be more tolerant and understanding. However, when we talk about family and emotions, many times, people's hearts are difficult to measure and define with reason, each person has their own unique feelings and emotional needs, and the choice of gifts should indeed need to be "exquisite".
3. Reflections on family relationships
From Zhao Sumei's story, perhaps what we can see is not just a "gift dispute" between the "mother-in-law" and the "mother-in-law", but more often, it touches on a kind of thinking about family relationships and emotional communication. In today's society, the construction and maintenance of family relationships have become more and more complex, whether it is in the growth and education of children, or in the mutual understanding and tolerance between husband and wife, it is inseparable from the active participation and support of various family members.
Especially in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and parents-in-law, many times, people's cognition and understanding often stay in the "superficial" stage, and ignore the more delicacy and emotion contained in it. Perhaps in the eyes of many people, everything Zhao Sumei does is what it should be, she is the embodiment of selfless dedication and tolerance that "mother" should do, and everything her daughter-in-law does should also be understood and accepted, because it is not easy for her to be able to experience it outside of work.
However, when we talk about family relationships, there may not be anyone who "deserves", everyone's efforts and needs in the family should be recognized and respected, and the communication and understanding in it also require the joint efforts of both parties. Perhaps in Zhao Sumei's story, we can see a kind of "passive communication", when she begins to think about going home and no longer helping, perhaps it is in this way to express her true feelings and needs, and the Yue family should also reflect on and understand the reasons for this, not just stay at the level of "how Zhao Sumei should be" and "how should her daughter-in-law be".
epilogue
Whether in the current society or in the long history of the past and present, family relationships have always been a topic that people pay great attention to and think about, and the values and emotional cognition contained in them are also ever-changing. Perhaps in different times and environments, people's understanding and cognition of family relationships will be different, but only true communication and understanding are the cornerstones of building a harmonious family relationship, and everyone's inner needs and emotional expressions should be truly concerned and understood by others. 希望在以后的生活中，无论是在家庭中，还是在和他人的相处中，我们都能够用更多的包容和理解去看待他人，从中感受到真挚的情感关怀，也能够用更加积极的方式去表达自己的内心需求和情感感受，共同营造和谐美满的家庭氛围。