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1. Once I went to the train station, my mobile phone was lost, and my witty daughter-in-law immediately sent me a text message with her own mobile phone, saying: "Husband, why have you been in the toilet for so long, how to call."

author:Funny girl

1. Once I went to the train station, my mobile phone was lost, and my resourceful daughter-in-law immediately sent me a text message with her own mobile phone, saying: "Husband, why have you been in the toilet for so long, why don't you answer the phone?" When I got to the point, I left first, I deposited the 20,000 yuan given to my mother to the station storage office, box 186, the password is 1685, see you at home Ha!" So, half an hour later, we caught the thief at the storage office!

2. In the morning, the girlfriend got up late, hurriedly called a Didi to go to work, and the driver's sister chatted with the girlfriend and learned that she was single. The driver's eldest sister: "My son has no object, a person in Beijing, graduated from a famous university, opened his own company, has a car and a house!" "Girlfriend wonder if this is not the uncle who looks at himself?" Make yourself her daughter-in-law? As a result, the driver's eldest sister said a shameful sentence: "Alas, the same are all single, this gap is really big!" ”

3. My sister-in-law took my wife to go shopping every day, and I told my brother-in-law that she didn't want children. Then my sister-in-law got pregnant, and her confused look made me laugh for many days. Today we met unexpectedly on the bus, and she suddenly came to me and shouted: Give me a seat. I slowly got up and pretended to be limping away. Looking behind her, I saw only a bunch of disdainful eyes and an innocent expression on her face. Ahem, little one, fight me!

4. Dad is on a business trip, and the door to the bathroom at home happens to be locked by the wind. I had no choice but to ask my boyfriend to come over. The boyfriend took the tools to repair the door and did not open them for half a day. At this time, he was also very impatient, and kicked the door with one kick, and the glass shattered into slag. I don't know what to do now, my mom said, if he comes again, she will beat him to death!

5. My sister and brother-in-law had just been married not long ago, and early in the morning my sister woke up to find that my brother-in-law was not in bed, opened the bedroom door and heard movement in the kitchen, so she shouted to the kitchen: "Hurry up, I haven't told my dear yet, say good morning!" Then the mother-in-law's voice came from the kitchen: "You dear, go out to buy breakfast!" ”?? The sister looked embarrassed: "Mom, when did you come?" ”

6. Although my cousin is a high-achieving student who graduated from Tsinghua University, she has been unable to find a boyfriend because of her ugly appearance. Once, she had a hard time meeting a netizen one day. After a while my cousin returned in tears, and I asked her how she was. She said: "He said, 'I don't deserve you,' and left. I immediately comforted her: "This is nothing, people are already very euphemistic, don't be too sad." The cousin immediately cried: "Euphemistic fart, he still has punctuation in the middle of that sentence!?"

7. My wife is a road killer who often bumps and bumps, but recently had a big car accident. My wife hit a Bugatti in a Porsche. Probably the throttle was used as a brake, until it hit the Rolls-Royce on the side of the road before stopping. At this time, the Rolls-Royce driver came down and asked: Big sister, do we have a vendetta? The eldest sister said in particular panic: No! I forgot to brake when I was nervous! The driver said leisurely: I thought you were going to kill me!

8. Walking to pick up the uncle from school, who knew that on the way back suddenly it rained heavily. I quickly dragged the little uncle to the house, but the little brother-in-law broke free of my hand and slowed down, and I was not allowed to run. I wondered, isn't it silly that it rains so much and doesn't run? Pulling the little uncle again, the little uncle threw away my hand again and said: In the sun, your shadow can shield me from the sun, but on this rainy night, your shadow can't shield me from the wind and rain, and sure enough, you are not the one who can protect me!

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