After work at night, when crossing the road, I walked to a BMW, put on high heels and accidentally twisted my feet, fell down, fell in front of the BMW, sat on the ground and rubbed it twice, BMW

At night, after work, when crossing the road, I walked to the front of a BMW, put on high heels and accidentally twisted my feet, fell down, fell in front of the BMW, sat on the ground and rubbed it twice, and the owner of the BMW came down to look at me, his face was blue, and he lost five hundred yuan for me to prepare to run. With a whimper, I immediately climbed up in pain and returned the money to the owner: "Big brother, I just twisted my own foot and fell a little, don't blackmail people, don't misunderstand me!" ”

2, when I was a child, I quarreled with the female table and scolded me SB, and I was furious: there is a kind of you say it 20 times. She really began to repeat the reading continuously, scolding half of the class teacher came in, and I had a clever move: you are not allowed to scold the class teacher. As a result, she was punished for three classes, which was cool! I have 38 likes for my resourcefulness, but now that I think about it, I regret it, and every time I sleep on the couch for this reason.

3, look at the mobile phone suddenly found that today is Father's Day, men's holiday, ah, a year is still this time, so I said to my daughter-in-law: "Daughter-in-law, today is my holiday!" Daughter-in-law: "Then let you be the master today!" So he gave me a red ticket and said: "You choose your own dish, you can see your mood, make whatever you want, use a gas stove or an induction cooker at will..."

4, go to the downstairs supermarket to buy things, pay ten dollars to the cashier as a hundred to find money, only to find out at home, want to return to the cashier. Find the cashier and say, I just bought something you found wrong money. The female shopkeeper said very simply, "Why didn't you just say it?" It's useless to say it now. So I had to go home again. I'm not to blame for that.

5. The host interviews the young rich. Host: There must be a woman behind a successful man who supports him. Mr. Li: Yes, I am only 20 years old and so rich, this is because I have a good wife. Host: "Why don't you take her to our show". Mr. Li: "She is more than 80 years old, and her legs and feet are not convenient." compere...

6, after graduating from high school, I dropped out of school, and I was hurt on the road to job hunting! Later, dad said that he knew the supervisor of a certain unit and was ready to introduce me in, and he was finally relieved. That day, Dad wanted to invite the supervisor to dinner at home, and I dressed up very much like a cultural person, after all, Dad said in front of the supervisor that I was a college student. When I first met, the supervisor glanced at me a few times, patted my thigh and said: You are the one who went to my unit yesterday to apply, and you can't have 26 letters, right?

7, when I was young, I went to steal chicken with two friends, they went to steal, and I was responsible for staring at the owner of the chicken, I did not expect that the owner was stewing chicken. So, I told the master that someone was stealing your chicken, and then the master hurried out, and sure enough, he saw that my two little friends were sneaky, and then chased them away. And I, take his stewed chicken away. For years, my friends have praised me for my wit...

8. After breaking up with the female boss of the trading company, she got a break-up fee of 30 million yuan and a concert ticket. Entering the concert site, I found that it was a metal team, a huge noise. Toward the end of the show, the lead singer calmly said into the microphone, "Tonight's last song, for my former girlfriend." I thought to myself, "I really didn't expect it, iron man tenderness, rare and precious." Then the lead singer continued, "The name of this song is, Roll! ”

9. A player must be transferred, and a cultural examination must be conducted before the transfer. The coach greeted the examiner in advance and said, "Our player culture is almost the same, and the questions are not too difficult." The examiner agreed. During the exam, the examiner looked at the player for a while and asked, "How much do you say seven times seven?" The player thought for a moment and said, "I think it's forty-nine." Before the examiner could speak, the coach stood up and said earnestly: ... live! ”

10, office colleagues talk about the problem of private money, a brother said that before hiding money is afraid of being found, it is saved, found that the card is also afraid of being found, just observe at home, suddenly found that the living room chandelier is a good idea, generally no one will want to go there to find! So hide, the wife came back at night, as soon as the light was turned on, a small shadow of a card appeared gorgeously, brother, can I say that every time I roll up the money and hide the frying pan in my hand.

1 Went to the supermarket after work, and found a new iPhone12 mobile phone. I was just about to cut out my SIM card and throw it away when I got a text message. The text message was sent by the owner: "The phone can be given to you, please return the card to me!" I sent him back a message: "The card can be returned to you, please take the charger and exchange it." The owner readily agreed, and the two of us met at the entrance of the supermarket, and as a result, I was beaten badly and my mobile phone was gone. Now the minimum trust between people is gone!

12. Wife: Who is the head of our family? Husband: Of course, it is the wife, do you still need to ask? Wife: What about you? Husband: I'm a little worse than you.... The wife said angrily: What do you mean? Remove the main word, isn't that the king? Why, you still want to be the king of the family?

13, the sister-in-law's mobile phone was stolen, we comforted her: "A broken mobile phone, count it!" She said: "What hurts is the photos on the phone, and those youths are probably the most beautiful memories." "We gave her ideas, texted her phone, and told the thief that just the photos in the phone were fine. Unexpectedly, the text message came back after a while: "I'm sorry, it's so ugly, it's all deleted!" ”

14, just borrowed my car brother-in-law scraped my car, I can only take the bus when I go to work. At a certain station, an old lady came up behind an old man. Just one seat, the old lady took the initiative to sit down. The old man came up to her and asked: How old are you this year? The old lady replied: 66! The old man listened to her and said to her: Oh, I am 70! Bigger than you, get up and give me a seat! Unexpectedly, the old lady smiled and said to him: I'm sorry, I'm pregnant, the second child!