1. There was a man who was dying, and in the hospital room, he said to his wife: I want to meet my lover. His daughter-in-law called her lover, and when she saw her, she cried, saying that she was most sorry for her in her life and had not been able to give it to her

1. There was a man who was dying, and in the hospital room, he said to his wife: I want to meet my lover. His daughter-in-law called her lover, and when she saw her, he cried, saying that she was most sorry in this life, and that she could not be given a name, and if she had to meet her in the next life, and then continue the frontier, the last and most reluctant thing in life was her, that is, the dead soul loved her. After saying goodbye to his lover, he called his daughter-in-law and gave him a passbook: This is my life's savings, there are 800,000 in it, you keep it. Ask the question: Does this man love his wife or a lover?

2. One night I drank outside and forgot the corridor password when I came home, so I called the security guard.

He asked solemnly, "How do you prove that you are the owner?" I said, "Open the door for Lao Tzu!" The security guard said, "Prove it to Lao Tzu." I shouted, "Beanie." A dog's head popped out of the balcony, and I said, "Bark." "So Bean Bean shouted, causing the next door to be called, causing the black back to cry on the other side... In the blink of an eye, the community was noisy, and the lights were lit. The security guard wore his suit and said, "This proof is too noisy and powerful." "Hurry up and open the door!!!!!

3. My husband is 175cm tall, I am less than 160cm tall, I just met that meeting, not confident. In order to match the height of my husband, I wear 10cm high heels every day, and after slowly getting acquainted, I became 8cm, 5cm, and now direct flat shoes. Today my husband wrapped me, suddenly said: Just met you that will wrap you, I have a feeling of a bird depending on people, why are you getting shorter and shorter now, who do I go to?

4. I was married to my flight attendant's wife for a year, and she gave birth to a pair of dragon and phoenix babies. When my wife gave birth, I was in the hospital to accompany the birth. A buddy in the next window took a bottle of cool and asked the doctor: "Does the baby need to drink this or not?" The doctor was stunned and asked, "How old is the baby?" The brother replied, "Just born, my wife has no milk." The air was suddenly quiet, and it was clear that the doctor was trying to hit someone. Subsequently, the doctor was heard at the door instructing the nurse: "Stare at window 5, don't let her husband get close to the child!" ”

5. After watching the finale of "Ruyi Zhuan", my husband watched the news. There was a girl who accidentally got stuck in the sewers because her legs were too thin. The husband immediately said: Daughter-in-law, I found that you are still safer. I glared at him and asked, "What do you mean by that?" Husband: It is still good that your legs are so thick, not to mention the sewers, it is estimated that even the iron railing is not called a thing!

6. Our factory is recruiting employees at the level of director and above, a post-90s who just graduated from a university submitted a resume, and did not expect to receive an interview invitation soon. Interviewer: Which one do you choose with a score of 600 points in the college entrance examination and a bank card of 6 million yuan? The post-90s generation didn't even think about TUO mouth out: I chose 6 million bank cards! Interviewer: Why? Post-90s: Because I have graduated from college, and I have scored 710 on the college entrance examination. The interviewer smiled and said: Congratulations, you have been admitted!

7. The girlfriend is married to a landlord, and she sits every day to collect rent and does not have to do any work, which is very easy. As a result, her husband felt that it was too boring at home, so he found a part-time takeaway job. Just did less than a month, the girlfriend will not let him go, I praised her so good, I know that I hurt my husband. But she put her mouth on her lips and said to me: You know what? He's about to get out of an occupational disease! Just after the end of the evening, he threw a sentence at me, remember the five-star praise!

8. After dinner, I was washing dishes in the kitchen when I suddenly heard the two of them arguing in the living room. Out to see, one wants to watch cartoons, one wants to watch TV series, and the two earn red-faced. The son angrily slapped the table and shouted: You are so beautiful, can't you let me order? Just after shouting, the wife suddenly put down the remote control, and her eyebrows flew to get the fruit!

9. A college student, after graduation, spent 500,000 yuan and made 1 million counterfeit money. Then happily went to KFC for dinner and ate a big meal. At checkout, the front desk said: Sir, a total of 500 yuan. Then the college student pulled out a banknote worth ten thousand. The cashier looked at it and said: "We are not the people of the world, you better go down and try it!"

10. When it's cold and I don't have to wear socks, I went to the market to buy socks. I asked the boss: How many pairs? Owner: Two and one pair. I said: How to sell? Boss: Sell by double. I clenched my fists: I mean the price! Boss: Give you the lowest price! I trembled and said: I am talking about the renminbi. Boss: It must be a yuan! I was devastated and asked again: What is the price? Boss: I already told you, it is the market price! You can't buy it or not! I can see clearly, you are deliberately looking for stubble!

11. On my first date with my boyfriend, he rode me home in a two-wheeled electric car. Usually minutes away, my boyfriend rode for half an hour. I asked why it was so slow, boyfriend: because I wanted to stay with you a little longer. I was very touched and decided not to marry him in this life. Once he was drunk and told the truth: he felt that the back was too heavy, and he could not hold the direction, and for safety, he could only ride slowly!

12. A person who does not learn any techniques, but pretends to be a scholar of both Chinese and Western cultures and brags everywhere. One day, his neighbor came and asked the man to read a tablet. The man pretended to look at it for half a day, but in fact no one knew: Where did the letter come from? His neighbor: It was sent from the south. The man sighed: "No wonder I don't know, the letter was written in the Southern language."

13. The farmer bought a box of consumable medicine, ate it, and walked away with a big wave. The farmer was very angry and theorized with the merchant: "Your rat medicine is useless!" The merchant said: "This medicine needs to be taken with warm water to be useful." The next day the farmer found the merchant again: "I listen to you, I caught the rats and served them with warm water, but it is still useless!" The merchant asked, "How many times have you fed it?" The farmer replied, "Once." The merchant said: "Look at the instruction manual, 6 boxes a course of treatment." ”