The cousin is not fat, and when she returns home for the New Year, she is strictly controlled by the family, and the amount of food is limited and meat is not allowed. Yesterday my uncle and aunt went outside to visit relatives, not at ease, leaving an eight-year-old little cousin at home to supervise,

The cousin is not fat, and when she returns home for the New Year, she is strictly controlled by the family, and the amount of food is limited and meat is not allowed. Yesterday my uncle went outside to walk relatives, not at ease, left an eight-year-old little cousin at home to supervise, at noon the cousin ran to my house, frightened to say that her sister is too scary, did not eat actually drank a large bucket of pure water, but also twisted his face said that smearing some oil is a big meatball ...

2, when I was a child, "Zhonghua" was a tube of white toothpaste. I'm here, smiling at that end; going to school, "Zhonghua" is a thin pencil. I'm here, the exam paper is over there; at work, "Zhonghua" is a red cigarette. I am at this end, the leader is at that end; I am at this end, and the road of struggle is still at that end... And it's particularly difficult.

3, one day driving, suddenly asked the coach: "Why is the steering wheel so loose?" The coach said calmly: "You first sister, when you encounter an emergency, instead of stepping on the brakes first, you pull the steering wheel hard, and you are still shouting in your mouth, calling ..."

4. In Chinese class, the teacher is explaining Biye's "Tianshan Mountain Scenery". After the lecture, I asked the students to use a metaphor to describe the prairie in their hearts. The students' metaphors are varied, among which the metaphor of Shu Daming is the most special. Daming said, "The enchanting prairie is like my grandmother's mouth. The crowd was puzzled, and Mingming added: "A toothless (ya)!" ”

5, the morning market selling early saw the car with "administrative law enforcement" driving over, everyone immediately greeted each other, scattered and ran away. The car stopped, two people came down from the car, helplessly looked at each other, one of them said: I said don't drive, you have to drive, look, and there is no breakfast to eat!

6, last night in KFC, there were six or seven primary school students around while nibbling on hamburgers while writing homework, suddenly deeply felt that children are also very pitiful, parents are busy at work, dinner can only eat junk food. Suddenly, one of the boys said to the other, "Let's take the class fee and eat KFC, why don't we go back and explain it to the teacher?" ”

7, my father called me home, let me accompany him to drink two drinks, when the wine was hot, my father said to me a lot of filial piety and the meaning of knowing the etiquette, and finally summed up in one sentence: "There is a golden house in the book, and there is a yan ruyu in the book." The next day, I went to buy a men's magazine and gave my dad a hundred-dollar bill on each page...

8, the city life fights are said to be inevitable, generally speaking, women will tear their hair when they fight, and men will come up to beat them violently, but in the Song Dynasty, men also pull their hair when they fight. On the way, a pair of small people in the city fight naked on their upper bodies, and they also pull each other's hair, which can't be pulled apart than anyone else

9, a junior high school student came to the commissary to buy a pen, just entered the store and suddenly remembered that I recently learned some English words, just so that I can use it. So he said: The boss bought Pen. The boss handed him a basin. Junior high school students: No! The boss quickly took it back and looked at it carefully: leak, just entered in the morning, how can it leak?

10, on the weekend, early in the morning, my mother came to my room with a meal: "Daughter, it is rare to take a break, don't get up today, eat in the bed!" "Don't be touched by your mother in an instant." When I got up at noon and went to the bathroom, many relatives and friends at home saw me and said in unison: "When did you come back, didn't your mother say that you and your boyfriend went on a trip?" "I was speechless.

1 Today on the street suddenly stomach pain, see a public toilet in front of me rushed in to solve, after the end of the incident a few people blocked me, with a scary look at me I do not go to the toilet? As for that? One of them said angrily, "Are you blind? You didn't see that it was being renovated, so why did you let us go in and work? "Don't say it, I washed my hands ten times...

12, these days, do not worry about the electricity bill, everyone has air conditioning to open the air conditioning, no air conditioning to blow the fan, do not go to work or work, at least can save your life, nothing to sit and nibble on watermelon to eat popsicles, do not hit! summer! finish! Because, the medical expenses for a day in the hospital can be turned on every day at home, and it is estimated that it will not be completed for a year. Hot weather, I would rather pay the money for electricity than let my ass cock up for injections, it hurts! It costs money!

13, I am a northeast Hanzi, hey, living in a place where female Men are rampant. The girls talk to the old lady. Under the introduction of my mother, I came to Chengdu, Sichuan. Imagine the legendary Chuan girl is excited. As a result, I really never heard the old lady's words again. But Chuan girls, what do you mean by Lao Tzu, is this the rhythm of you wanting to be with the Northeast girls? Do you want to kill it in a hurry?

14, a brother asked me: "Brother! Why do they call you Brother Dao! Your name doesn't have a Word! "When I was a child, my family gave me a nickname, Dog!" Friends call me Dog Brother! I called until junior high school, I thought the dog brother was too ugly, so I let them change their name, and then called me dog! ”