1, winter with classmates to go to the restaurant, sauerkraut blood sausage pork belly saw a bug, friends want to call the waiter, I said wait, and then took out a coin to hide in the basin, yes

1, winter with classmates to go to the restaurant, sauerkraut blood sausage pork belly saw a bug, friends want to call the waiter, I said wait, and then took out a coin to hide in the basin, and then called the waiter. The waiter apologized and said to change us, and after a while he brought another pot. Then we started flipping in front of the waiter, and when we flipped out a coin, the waiter was stupid.

2, go to dinner with your girlfriend, the speed of serving food is too slow. Ask the waiter to return a few dishes that were not on the table. The waiter kept saying that the dish had been cooked and could not be returned. After waiting for a few more moments, I stopped the waiter again: "Am I ready to order the boiled meat slices?" The waiter nodded, "Okay, I'll get it for you right away." My girlfriend asked me, "Did we order boiled slices of meat?" I smiled badly and didn't speak, and the waiter came over: "Hello, this is the boiled meat slice you added." ”

3, at night is working overtime but suddenly blackout, I am afraid to take the opportunity to pull the hand of a female colleague, and then call me to see that I am pulling the boss's hand. The boss glared at me, then called me into the office and said, "Aren't you disappointed?" I smiled and said, "Unexpectedly, reasonably, after all, I know you have a crush on me." "The next day I was fired and I heard that the female colleague I liked was the boss's favorite.

4, my cousin forced me to go on a blind date with her good girlfriend, on the same day, I changed into shorts and said... Sister, people are girls now, why let me and your girlfriend kiss it, hate! My sister didn't say a word and gave me a five-fingered mountain. This made me unable to find the north.

5, after eating lunch, a handsome man came to the door of the company, holding a large bouquet of roses on the phone, and everyone rushed to watch. After a while, a twisted female colleague came out, took the flower with a red face and said shyly to the handsome man: "This... There are too many people here, do we want to... Let's change places. Only to see the handsome man skillfully draw out a list and throw it in her face: "No time, hurry up and sign!" Business is busy today!

6, the unit of Xiao Wang is often late for work, this day is late, just bumped into by the leader, the leader angrily said: "Late for work every day, Xiao Wang, you are too much!" This boy was also fierce enough, and directly said: "Leader, although I came to work late, I left work early!" ”

7, the son is in the first year of high school this year, junior high school and primary school are relatively close to home, are their own school. Now it's far from home, and I pick him up every time I leave school. This time, I didn't go home after finishing things, and when I arrived, I found that I needed to wait for an hour. After school, the boy came out. I deliberately hid, the boy walked to the front of the car to see, there was no one in the car, turned his head and left. After walking a hundred or two hundred meters, I told him to stop. What kind of person is this, Lao Tzu waited for you for more than an hour, you didn't wait for Lao Tzu for a minute!

8, remember the cousin when he got married, remember the wedding day custom is to grab relatives early in the morning, other people's grooms are in accordance with the custom of stuffing red envelopes, answering questions, banging on the door. That day, my cousin directly took a locksmith to the door with light hands and feet, without any noise, and suddenly opened the door! A group of women were still discussing countermeasures, and when they saw the groom coming in, they had a confused expression, and now that I think about the scene, I still remember it vividly! It's too lively to be unwanted!

9, this morning to go downstairs to buy breakfast, the boss directly with his hand to put the breakfast into the bag, I was confused for a while, blurted out, don't use your hand to touch me directly. After saying that, I found that something was wrong, I ran straight away, and I didn't want it earlier. I think I'm moving.

10, it was an English class in the second year of junior high school, just after class, the teacher wrote down the five letters of AHKJQ on the blackboard. After that, the English teacher began to grab some questions that did not listen to the lesson. Coincidentally, because I received a paper ball from a friend, I was picked up by the teacher. The teacher pointed to the blackboard and asked me: Which of the five letters above is different? I replied: H! The teacher was amazed: Why? I know: AKJQ has seen it on poker, H hasn't seen it.

11, before going to sleep forgot to light the mosquito coil, just fell asleep by a mosquito in the ear to wake up. I exhaled a slap in the middle of my half-dream, and I didn't think that I actually hit my daughter-in-law's face. When she sat up directly, I realized my mistake, decisively pretended to sleep, and pretended to dream: spare my life!!! At breakfast today she was still laughing at my timidity and spinelessness, you are happy!!!

12, the sister-in-law is a salesman in an automobile 4S shop, this month the sister-in-law sold more than 500 Units of Magotan. The store manager was particularly happy and gave the sister-in-law a bonus of 560,000 yuan. Just after work, I received a call from my husband's father and asked my sister-in-law to go home and accompany him. After three rounds of drinking, the husband's father said a lot of words such as filial piety and zhihu Dali to the sister-in-law, and finally he summed it up in one sentence: "There is a golden house in the book, and there is a Yan Ruyu in the book!" "The next day, the sister-in-law immediately bought an ancient book, and then clipped a hundred-dollar bill to her husband and father on each page...

13, lunch at dinner, ordered a dry sautéed four seasons beans, after eating half I found a bean next to a large meat worm, I subconsciously clipped up to see, the girlfriend thought I fed her, and quickly caught it with my mouth, which was very delicious. "Honey, you're so nice!" She said.

14, today I got married with my girlfriend, at the wedding, table after table of toasts, it was my turn to toast my brothers from childhood to adulthood. The brothers raised their glasses and stood up and said: "Brother, get married and live a good life, the sister-in-law is very beautiful, if you have anything around you in the future, the sister-in-law will definitely be able to solve it for you at once, the sister-in-law's mouth is particularly flexible, can speak the Tao, then we do it first, you are free!" "Looking at such a straight brother in front of me, I was very touched, and I drank the happy wine in my hand!"