1. Go back to your hometown with your boyfriend, at the mouth of the village, the boyfriend is urinating urgently, it is convenient to go to the grove, I am waiting on the side of the road, there is a grandfather coming, the uncle asked me: "Girl, who are you looking for in our village?"

1. Go back to my hometown with my boyfriend, at the mouth of the village, my boyfriend is urinating urgently, it is convenient to go to the grove, I am waiting on the side of the road, there is a grandfather coming, the uncle asked me: "Girl, who are you looking for in our village?" Me: "Uncle, I'll go to Li Xiaodong's house!" Just then, my boyfriend came out and I said to him, "Did this uncle say anything about your village?" Boyfriend: "This grandson who doesn't know, I'm a neighbor" I tugged on my boyfriend's clothes to make him speak more politely, and the uncle next to him saw his boyfriend and greeted him happily: "Second grandfather, are you back?" I rely on, the rural generations are really chaotic...

2. My sister-in-law, who is two months pregnant, wants to eat mangosteen, and my brother will not say a word to take her to RT-Mart to buy it. After spending 5,000 yuan at checkout, the salesman gave them two buckets of canned food in Japanese. My brother was afraid of expiring, so he took a photo and posted it in the group to see if there were any people who understood. Finally, my brother's old classmate replied: I studied Japanese for a while in high school, this can is no problem, you can eat it with confidence. Later, I heard my brother scold in the toilet: Where did you learn Japanese, I pulled it 3 times...

3. There is a boy in a physical education department at a college who goes out to dry during the day with a quilt. After the night date, I didn't want my girlfriend, so I suddenly rolled my sister in the quilt and clipped her back to the bedroom. Aunt Su Guan did not find out at all, slept, and the next day used the same method to clip the girl out, and later became famous throughout the school, everyone followed suit, and the campus was full of quilts.

4. This year, my sister is in her twenties and still likes to sleep with her mother. Sister: "Mom, tell me a story, can't sleep." "Mother: "Once upon a time, there was a little white rabbit, who didn't fold the quilt, didn't cook, didn't wash clothes, didn't find a boyfriend, and spent my mother's money so big..." Sister: "Okay Mom, I'm a little sleepy, I slept first!" ”

5. The crush goddess computer is broken, most of the night let me go to repair, after repairing there is no car, she left me at home to eat supper. I made my favorite stewed pork trotters and hairy crabs. As I ate, I boasted, "It's exactly the flavor I like, it's delicious." After eating, the goddess asked me, "Is my boyfriend's cooking good?" I was surprised: "Don't you have no boyfriend?" Don't scare me! The goddess smiled and said, "You just said it was delicious, how come you forgot?" "I was suddenly messy!

6. After a tiring day, I went to the foot massage shop to relieve my fatigue, and ordered a young and beautiful technician who was washing my feet. The uncle, who was in his sixties, came into the room and said to her, "Baby, will you come home for dinner at night?" I'm really sleepy if you don't come back!" The female technician ignored him. The uncle pounded his chest and said, "Baby, don't you love me anymore!" The female technician was helpless: "Dad, don't make trouble, I'll come back from work!" ”?

7. Our family of three all work in the same steel mill in the northeast. Recently, the factory equipment was overhauled and we were given 10 days off. Today I was studying with my dad where to go on vacation, and my mom came over and asked, "Do you like to play with water?" "I thought to myself, are you going to take us on a trip to the beach?" So I immediately replied, "Like like!" My mom said, "Then go wash the dishes." ”

8. In high school, the homeroom teacher came every night to check the bed, very strict! Suddenly, no one checked the bed for a day, and I was very puzzled, so I asked my aunt: Why has no one checked the bed recently? Auntie said: They all went to the girls' dormitory! Me: Girls are strictly checked, what does it have to do with whether we boys check or not? The aunt took a puff of her cigarette and said meaningfully: Haha, as long as the sheep are managed well, the wolf will not be able to toss anywhere.

9. My brother-in-law said to me, "I used to work as a waiter in a restaurant, and the boss said that I was not good at service and was not polite enough to the guests, and he wanted to deduct my bonus!" Later I said to the owner, I invite you to dinner in the evening! I asked, "Did you really invite him to dinner?" Brother-in-law: "Of course please!" After eating, the boss will never say anything about me again, nor will he deduct my bonus! I asked in surprise, "Did you bribe your boss like this?" The brother-in-law shook his head and said, "Of course not, it is because I took him to a restaurant with worse service to eat, and I let him know that the service attitude is not as good as mine!" ”

10. The eldest brother and sister-in-law met at a bar, and when they woke up the next day, they slept in the same bed and established a relationship. The eldest brother took his sister-in-law home for the first time, his father went on a business trip, I accompanied my mother, and everyone chatted very well. After eating and chatting together, my mother tentatively asked my brother the eternal scripture: "I fell into the water with your wife, who will you save first?" When the sister-in-law heard this, she immediately smiled and replied, "I will definitely save you first!" The eldest brother listened, nodded vigorously, and then said, "Yes, I must save you first!" The old mother smiled, the smile was a little meaningful, and said: "Sure enough, I listened to my daughter-in-law!" ”?

11. In ancient times, a poor scholar in the middle of the family road picked up a painting in a ruined temple on the outskirts of the city, and the woman with a peach blossom face and a silk embroidery was draped in embroidery. He took the painting back and hung it on the wall, looking at it for more than half an hour every day. On this day, Shusheng saw a beautiful woman walking towards him in the middle of a dream and half awake. "Master said that as long as someone can really look at me, I can become a human being." "You, you're the XIAN on the painting!" "No, I'm the wall."

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