1, on the bus, there is a sister, and a foreigner in English conversation, the conversation is huge, the sister's expression is exaggerated, from time to time also laugh, so it lasted, for a long time. The girl suddenly used it

1, on the bus, there is a sister, and a foreigner in English conversation, the conversation is huge, the sister's expression is exaggerated, from time to time also laugh, so it lasted, for a long time. The girl suddenly asked the driver with Chinese: Has xxx station arrived? Driver A: It's over. The girl was furious: Why don't you report the station? The driver calmly replied: Speaking Chinese, I am afraid that you will not understand.

2. Taking advantage of my father's absence, I secretly played with my father's mobile phone and changed my note to a little lover. In the evening, I talked to my father and asked him to invite me to a big dinner. While I was eating, my mother came with my two uncles. As soon as they saw that it was me sitting on the side, my mother immediately laughed haha: You don't call me when you eat, so I rushed to come, and I brought your uncle to protect me when it was not safe at night!

3. When I went to work in other places, I rented a one-bedroom house. The landlord's aunt likes to take advantage of the small, her water heater is broken, let me help him repair it. After fixing the water heater, I asked her to fix the gas stove. When she asked me again to help fix other appliances, I pointed to her dog and said, "Auntie, I can still cook!" Why don't I get you a dry pot of dog meat to taste?" ”

4. Yesterday, my father-in-law was addicted to smoking, and while my mother-in-law was sleeping, I used my mother-in-law's Alipay to transfer 100 yuan to my card. The mother-in-law did not notice, from then on out of control, every three to five on the turn point, a 30-40! Suddenly today the mother-in-law took the ledger and said to her father-in-law: "You used my Alipay to transfer 20 times in total, and the price varies from each time, of which 40 turned 30 times, 30 turned 15 times, a total of 1650, rounded up You should give me 1700 whole!" "Oh I went, my mother-in-law deserves to be an accounting professional!"

5. The brother-in-law was walking on the main road on the evening shift and was suddenly startled by the robbers who rushed out. He swung his dagger at his brother-in-law and said, "Do you want money or death?" "The brother-in-law thinks, I can't even feed my own life now, do I want another life?" It is better to ask for money. So he said to the robber, "Give me some money!" ”

6, cousin has a new girlfriend, on the day off to borrow my Maybach said to take a girlfriend for a ride, cousin gave me the tram keys, asked me to go to his company carport to ride the tram. When I arrived at his factory, I was dumbfounded, there was a whole row of trams parked, my cousin gave me a key without a remote control, and I can't remember his license plate. I had to take the car keys one by one to try, and with good luck, I tried to open the fourth one. After a few days, the cousin came to return the car, and by the way, he rode his own car back, and the cousin stared at the tram for half a day and said: Who owns this car? I was really innocent: I just knew that the key could drive the tram away, and I thought it was yours.

7. When a person is sick, he looks for a doctor, and when the doctor prescribes medicine for him, he says: "The big one eats two tablets a day, and the small one eats one piece a day." He returned home and said to the two children, "Boss, you take two tablets a day for this big pill; old man: you take one tablet a day for this small tablet." ”?

8. When I was in college, I talked about a girlfriend and often looked forward to the future of a family of three. Because once she stayed in a hotel she went into the wrong room, and our love ended like this. Three years later, at a school reunion, I attended with my wife and son, and she also brought her daughter to attend. When she saw me, she froze for a moment and didn't speak, perhaps not wanting to disturb my life. She called out her daughter's name, which was the same name as my son, and when my wife heard it, she said to me, "Wow, that little girl has the same name as our son." If I told my wife that this name was taken when we were in college, would she beat me to death?

9, recently after a period of pregnancy is very fond of eating hot pot, the husband does not search every time, hear directly take me to go. He said to me: Daughter-in-law, you don't eat lamb, it is not conducive to the healing of leg injuries. Don't eat seafood, it's easy to get allergic. Hearing the waiter praise my husband for being careful and considerate, I was very beautiful in my heart, but I joked on my mouth: My husband is to save money. Husband is anxious: Do I care about this money! You eat too much, I can't move you. Our house is on the 5th floor, renting a crane is too expensive!

10, colleague finally married the goddess in his heart, but yesterday he found me. He said, "How can I make my wife happy?" I thought for a moment and said, "There are two ways, the first is to buy her a bag and the second is to tell her jokes." "When he came to the company today, I found scratches all over his face. Then he said to me, "What a bad idea! I was beaten up by my wife! I hurriedly said, "Impossible, how do you do it?" Colleague: "I said: Wife, I gave you a bag, she just smiled, and I said, I'm joking with you!" Me: "I don't know how you got married to a goddess so stupidly!" ”

11. The owner of the construction site took 8 workers to the restaurant to eat a seafood buffet, 38 pieces of one. A total of 80 pounds of crabs, 120 pounds of lobsters, 90 large abalone, and 30 pounds of oranges were eaten. When I was ready to leave after checkout, I also brought 16 bottles of red wine. The waiter gave them a blank look and said, "You can't take it outside here." The owner of the construction site shouted: "Then give me another 200 pounds of pippi shrimp." The store manager hurriedly walked over: "Let them take it and go, hurry up and let me go!"

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #