1. After living with a divorced landlady for half a year, she gave me a house as compensation after breaking up with me. I lived alone in a big house and was particularly lonely, so I found a beautiful woman to share. she

1. After living with a divorced landlady for half a year, she gave me a house as compensation after breaking up with me. I lived alone in a big house and was particularly lonely, so I found a beautiful woman to share. She's a female anchor, and I often watch her live. On this day, the beauty said in the live broadcast: I am going to move tomorrow, and I can't broadcast it live. When I heard this news, I panicked, can't I see beautiful women in the future? So I immediately ran to knock on the door to confess, but I didn't expect the beauty to agree! I asked her where she was going, and I wanted to go too, and the beauty said, "Isn't it upstairs?" The floor is high and the light is a little better.

2. When I got married, the 5-hand Bentley that my husband gave me was borrowed by my brother-in-law and ran away with female netizens, and the next day I could only squeeze the bus to work. In the car, next to me stood a fashionably dressed girl and a foreigner talking in English. The conversation was particularly loud, the girl's expression was exaggerated, and she laughed from time to time, and this lasted for a long time. The girl suddenly asked the driver with Chinese: Master, has so-and-so stood there? The driver replied: Girl, that station has long passed. The girl was immediately angry: Why don't you report to the station?? The driver said very calmly: I'm sorry, I'm afraid you can't understand.

3. My girlfriend is now five years old, I am more strict at home, she is very afraid of me. This night, I came back late from drinking outside, and my wife was a little upset, so she threw up her daughter: "Let's beat your father together, okay?" The girl could not hide her joy, and the surname Fen said, "Good, good! The wife took a rolling pin, the girlfriend took a broom and walked in front of me, the little guy and I looked at each other for 3 seconds and then quietly said to her mother: "Mom, do you want to go first?" ”

4. I went to my sister's house after work and passed by RT-Mart to buy two durians and give one to my sister. When I arrived at my sister's house and found my sister playing my nephew in the 4th grade, I asked why. My sister said breathlessly: He wrote that my mother's hair and beard are white, and her body is still growing white hair, what does it mean? Am I a white-haired rat spirit? After scolding and continuing to fight, the brother-in-law added fuel to the fire and said: Well, it is indeed time to fight, I feel mad when I see it, I am afraid of waking up in the middle of the night and finding an old monster lying next to me! After saying this, the little nephew was saved, but the brother-in-law suffered.

5. Accompany the wife back to the country's mother's house, it happens that the sister-in-law also brought her boyfriend back, at night the young man and I were arranged to sleep upstairs one by one, and the wife and the sister-in-law slept downstairs. Early in the morning, my mother-in-law was downstairs calling for breakfast, and I was standing on the balcony stretching my waist when I got dressed, but I caught a glimpse of my sister-in-law sneaking out of her boyfriend's room with sleepy eyes. At breakfast, I quietly talked to my wife about this, and my wife gave me a blank look: "Don't you know that my sister has sleepwalking?" I still couldn't understand the style and said, "Then why didn't you see her swimming in the wrong room?" ”

6. When I was in college, I chased after my goddess. One day we had a dance party at school, and I took my girlfriend with me. She is the focus of everyone as soon as she enters the scene, but because she will not, she can only sit at the bar and bump melon seeds. At this time, a man very gracefully walked over to her and extended a hand to invite her to dance, and the girlfriend was stunned, and actually gave someone a handful of melon seeds, haha.

7. Came back from a business trip a few days ago and couldn't find the train station. So he stopped a guy and asked, "Hello, how long is it going to go to the train station here?" The guy shook his head. I said to myself, "Hey, this isn't a local either!" No way!! Suddenly, the guy behind him said, "Hey, hey, it takes about 9 minutes and 18 seconds to get to the station." I asked doubtfully, "Why didn't you just tell me?" Boy: "I didn't see your actual pace just now!" ”

8. Hour Wu. The hero sees more, practicing the ladder cloud vertical, that is, the left foot steps on the right foot, and it will fly higher and higher. At that time, every day I had sandbags tied to my legs and ran and jumped every day. I looked for the essence again: Gongshu practices every day. One day meditate and feel God. The work has been accomplished. Bounce off the second floor, and then, and then eat noodles without opening your mouth......... Because a few teeth fell out

 #Funny##Funny paragraph# #今日笑料 #