1. An upstart driver drove Chery to the Maybach 4S store, pointed to a Maybach and asked: How much does this car cost? The manager ran over and said: 2 million! Upstart: Well, I bought it, money

1. An upstart driver drove Chery to the Maybach 4S store, pointed to a Maybach and asked: How much does this car cost? The manager ran over and said: 2 million! Upstart: Okay, I bought it, the money is in the car, and you tell people to count themselves.

The nouveau riche removed 9 sacks of steel from the car, and all the staff counted for 15 hours. The manager said to the rich family: Sorry sir, the money is not enough, there are only 1.2 million 3604 yuan here.

The upstart was surprised and said: Ah, not enough, then I will not buy! After leaving, the upstart called his daughter-in-law and said: Your method of counting money is really good!

2. One night I was drunk and took a taxi back to the public security department, the fare was 18 yuan, 50 yuan for the driver, the driver saw that I was drunk, he looked for me for 2 yuan, I was drunk and looked at the driver, the driver asked me: How much did you give me? I said 100 yuan, and the driver immediately said: Obviously it is 50 yuan. I looked at him again, and he looked for 30 bucks. I was still drunk and misty looking at him, an hour later the driver cried, I thought I have time anyway, just in time to wake up in the car, the province's home wife did not open the door and was scolded!

3. My brother, who was at work, wanted to surprise my mother on Mother's Day, but didn't tell her when he got home. When I got home, I saw my dad standing in the doorway, saw me and said, "I forgot my keys again, and I can't get in." While we were talking, my mother just came back from work! My mother asked me with a straight face: How did you come back as a child? It's windy outside, why don't you get in? My dad scratched his head in embarrassment: Because I forgot my key, so... My mother gave him a blank look and took over the stubble: So you called your son, who is thousands of miles away, back to open the door for you?

4. Just moved into the new community life, I found that the daughter of the owner of the Lanzhou ramen restaurant downstairs was particularly beautiful, so I often went. Later, he slowly became acquainted with his boss and often drank together. That time the boss asked me for a picture, and I gave it. The next day, when I went to dinner again, I found a picture of me on the door, and it said: No entry.

5. Go for a walk in the square after eating in the evening, and accidentally step on a chewing gum while watching the square dance. I had no choice but to use my other foot to 'rescue', but it was getting harder and harder to get down, but I still pulled up a long silk. My distraught feet kept stomping repeatedly. At this time, a big mother came over and smiled at Mimi and said to me: Yatou, I really can't learn to forget it, you are dancing like a god, which will affect the overall level of our dance troupe.

6. In recent days, I have worked very hard and I am tired every day. He asked with concern: Daughter-in-law, what do you want to eat, I will make it for you! I thought about it and said: I want to drink soup stewed with big bones! My husband was a little embarrassed, and I asked: What's wrong? What's the problem? The husband scratched his head and said: "So, I can't beat Diga Ultraman, let's change the dish!"

7. When I was a teacher at Sanben Normal University, I had a child with a female student. I was a responsible man and immediately got a marriage license from her. After marriage, she often thought I was childish, and today she was in the car again. I was not happy at the time, and scolded: "Is it not over?" I'm driving right now, don't mess with me, something's wrong! She should have realized her mistake and bowed her head in silence. I couldn't bear it, and immediately changed the subject: "Give me a little more coins, this Pleasant Goat is not as good as the gray wolf." ”

8. Sent the buddy two soft Chinese and asked him to introduce me to a girlfriend. I didn't expect the buddy to be really interesting, and directly introduced his beautiful ex-girlfriend to me. The two of us had a good conversation and it didn't take long to establish a relationship. On Valentine's Day, I took her to a fancy restaurant for dinner. After sitting down, the girlfriend picked up the menu and looked at it. She saw that her favorite dishes were all in the high-end column, so she asked me: How much do you love me? I also looked at the menu and replied: I looked more than corned beef, but not to grilled lobster.

9. The folding umbrella bought by a friend has not been used for a year. This afternoon finally came in handy. The friend stood in the doorway and pressed the button on the umbrella. Only a whimper was heard, and the umbrella flew out two meters away. Only the handle of the umbrella was still in her hand, and the friend was already messy!

10. My cousin introduced me to a girlfriend, and before leaving, he repeatedly told me: "Brother, she doesn't eat meat, don't order meat when you order!" "I said I knew, and after we met, I wondered, in front of me was a 200-pound girl. I said, "Girl, you've gone wrong!" She said, "If you're here for a blind date, I'm not going wrong!" I nodded, then asked her, "You don't eat meat?" She said yes. Then my mouth opened, and she preemptively asked, "Do you want to ask, I don't eat meat, why am I still so fat?" Actually, I also want to know this question? She said, "Brother, if you could tell me, I'd let you go..."

11. One night when I came home after eating outside, I walked to a remote place, the light was very dim, the afterglow of my eyes suddenly swept to a white shadow, and there was nothing when I turned around, but I could always see a white shadow following me, and when I rushed home, I found that the white shadow was still there, so I was very afraid. When I washed my face, I found out... There is a grain of rice in the corner of the eye!

12. When Zhang Ming was in college, he worked part-time as a network administrator next to the school. One night, the boss was not in a few who came to the Internet café to find trouble. Zhang Ming's clever move cut off the net, and everyone in the Internet café stood up instantly, and the momentum of the scene instantly scared the away. Later, every time Zhang Ming said this, he excitedly wanted to get up from his wheelchair, but unfortunately he could no longer stand up!

13. The decline in retail sales in the catering industry due to 1 sentiment is obvious. The restaurant owner hired an operator, who came up with a clever way to tip. The operator asked him to bring in a very beautiful girl to sit at the counter and collect money, so that the men could be fascinated and generous. Who knew that a few days after the girl went to work, she said to the boss, "I think I'm not as pretty as before." The boss asked busily, "How do you say that?" Girl: "Now the male guests are counting the change I have found for them at the counter repeatedly." ”