Do not disturb, the male guest came out and began to introduce himself: "I deal with the land all day!" In an instant the lights went out six. Male guest: "I don't have a stable high salary!" Then the lights went out again

Do not disturb, the male guest came out and began to introduce himself: "I deal with the land all day!" In an instant the lights went out six. Male guest: "I don't have a stable high salary!" Then the lights went out eight more. Male guest: "I'm not going to buy a house yet!" Finally, the lights were all out. The host hurried to round the field: "I think many people look down on our peasant brothers, thinking that they have no money and no house, which is an extremely wrong idea!" Male guest: "Interrupt, I'm not a farmer, I'm a real estate developer." ”

2. The cousin was pulling bricks at the construction site, but he found a flight attendant as his wife. Last night I took a bottle of Moutai wine to my cousin for a drink, and I asked his cousin curiously how she liked him. He said: In fact, I don't know how your cousin looked at me, that year's Valentine's Day, I pulled the bricks, passed by a gold jewelry store, went in to see the liveliness, your cousin bought something inside, I habitually asked, how much is this thing a ton? Then we got married. Well, I get it!

3. When delivering takeaways, I saved a girl who was swept away by the flood, and I didn't expect that her father was the richest man in the city. To thank me, he married his daughter to me and posted a dowry of 5 million yuan. Unexpectedly, after marriage, she had an arrogant personality and was violent to my family without a word. One day I couldn't stand it anymore and protested. Then, the wife said with a straight face: "I hit you?" How I didn't know! I said aggrievedly, "How could you not know?" The wife said unashamedly: "I am highly myopic, I wear myopic glasses every day, and all I see is a virtual image!" As soon as I heard it, I was anxious, took off her glasses, and beat her up fiercely. Finally, I said, "You don't have glasses, you can't see anything, you can't prove that I hit it." ”

4. Recently, a new female colleague from the unit showed off how good she was all day. She said: I am so beautiful, I am stalked by a group of men every day, and it is difficult for me to reject others, what should I do? Colleague Haojie silently splashed the water from the cup on her face. The female colleague suddenly realized: I understand, you want me to be clear-headed and calm as water! Is it? Hao Jie told her: Beauty is not a scoop of water, removing makeup is all jewels!

5. After graduating from university, he entered the Wanda Group as a finance officer. I was busy in the office today, and the chairman called me. Before I could say anything, he yelled at me and yelled at me to go to his office and say I had miscalculated. I took it back and counted it three times with the calculator, and it was not wrong at all! Chairman: Oh, I just miscalculated three times, and the three times I calculated were all the same number.

6. The son of the rich second generation did not have a good academic performance, and he was almost at the bottom of the class in every exam. Today, after his son returned home from school, he said to Fu Erdai: The exam questions are so difficult, several people in the class have handed in white papers, the teacher is angry, and the playground with zero points is punished for running ten laps. Fu Er Dai asked: Then you did a good job in this exam, right? His son said proudly: It's quite thrilling, there is a question I was right, I scored two points, just to avoid punishment.

7. The sister-in-law was unwell and her brother-in-law was busy at work, so she had to go to the hospital alone for examination. When he returned home from work, his brother-in-law asked with concern: What is the specific situation? What do the doctors tell me? The sister-in-law recalled what the doctor had told her: everything was normal, but she usually needed to breathe more fresh air, and she should dress warmly in winter. Then, she said lightly: The doctor said that I must go to the beach for vacation in the summer and wear a mink coat in the winter!

8. When I was in college, I fell in love with the clown girl in my class, and our head teacher fell in love with the school flower. Once the head of the room prepared a big gift to surprise her. However, suffering from the inability to enter and exit the girls' dormitory, he had to buy some daily necessities, snacks, fruits and other bribes to the housekeeper aunt every three to five minutes. The payment eventually had HuiBao, and the head of the room eventually married Aunt Su Guan as his wife.

  #Funny# #搞笑段子 #