1, Xiao Qiang slept until the middle of the night, found his daughter-in-law holding his hand and pressed it around, at first he thought what to do, but later found that he was unlocking the phone, he opened a gap in the corner of his eye, and smiled darkly

1, Xiao Qiang slept until midnight, found the daughter-in-law holding his hand and pressed it around, at first I thought what to do, but later found that it was unlocking the mobile phone, he opened a gap in the corner of his eye, secretly sneered, not afraid of the daughter-in-law to unlock, afraid that she would not understand it. After the daughter-in-law opened Xiao Qiang's mobile phone, it popped up to do tomorrow's things, tomorrow, I want to love my wife well. I want to make good money, give my wife flowers... Xiao Qiang's daughter-in-law looked at it and cried, silently put down her mobile phone, covered the quilt for Xiao Qiang, and made him food in the middle of the night. Xiao Qiang felt a little guilty, so he got up to help, and as a result, her daughter-in-law was immediately angry: "You said that a big man went around the stove, went back to sleep, and let the woman do the cooking!" Roll..." Xiao Qiang heard the words, and went back to sleep. In the morning, the kitchen was clean, Xiao Qiang asked his daughter-in-law about the meal, and his daughter-in-law said that after cooking to see your sleeping incense, she couldn't bear to eat it all.

2. Ask your girlfriend to go shopping today. At five or six o'clock in the morning, I started cleaning up in the bathroom. The old mother passed by and said: Don't dress up, you can't become a prince in dressing. I said unconvincedly: I am still not your own child? The old mother gave a blank look and said: That is caused by your father, if I had not turned the tide alone, you would not know what ugly it would be! I saw my father sitting on the dining table and continuing to eat breakfast silently with his head down, without saying a word.

3. When I was in college, an ugly girl chased me in the class, and I rejected her fiercely. As a result, not long after I suddenly learned the news of the demolition of her hometown, I regretted it and began to chase back, and the result became that she ignored me. I did not give up, and I have always kept her news after graduation, silently paying attention to her recent situation. Today suddenly found that she has not updated the circle of friends for a long time, a little worried, sent a few messages she did not reply. Some time ago, I heard that she was not in good health, and I thought of asking another classmate in a hurry. After the meeting, the students replied: I just sent her a message, she returned in seconds, this morning also sent a circle of friends selfie, what? You didn't see that? I grew up so old that I knew that there was a group in the circle of friends...

4. In the 3rd grade of elementary school, once I only scored 83 points in mathematics. But Dad wasn't angry and took me shopping. Dad said, "Son, don't you like the golden hoop stick?" I'll buy you one, right? "I was dancing happily, and when I got home I found out it was a big conspiracy. Because now I see it and my whole body hurts!

5, go to the girlfriend's house to pick her up and go shopping with her, and her mother will also go with her. The girlfriend took a little longer to wear makeup, and her mother waited next to her for a while, and suddenly smoked her face while saying: "It's really useless, it's really useless!" The girlfriend looked at her mother doubtfully and said, "Mom, what's wrong with you?" Her mother continued to call and said, "Mother is really useless, if she had the ability to make you beautiful, why would you have to work so hard to put on makeup!" Girlfriend: "Mom! When you are in a hurry, do you know that you can't do it? ”

6. The boss of the group company admired me very much and arranged for me to go to the headquarters for training, but at my own expense. To save money, I bought a green-skinned train with a pretty girl sitting next to me. I said: Beauty, how old are you? The girl replied: I am 93 years old. I said, "Do you have a boyfriend?" The girl shook her head: No. I said, "That's great, I'll give you a kiss." The girl was a little shy and asked: To whom? I said, "Give it to my son!" The girl was happy when she heard it and said: You all have sons? How old is your son, give me a blind date? I smiled slightly: Not yet, so I'm going to give him a kiss first.

7. I plan to buy a Range Rover, but the full amount is still 300,000 yuan. Last night at the dinner table I asked who lent me 300,000 and paid me back 400,000 when I paid me. Dad, mom, brother and sister-in-law just cared about pulling forked rice into their mouths, and no one was stingy! Little niece: "Lend you 300,000 and when you have money, can you repay 500,000?" Me: "Yes! The little niece turned to the couch and took out her small bag and took out the money and handed it to me: "Yes, this is 300,000, remember to return 500,000 to me when the time comes!" ”

8. In the Grand Theater, a grand band drill is being held. The conductor was dissatisfied with the performance of one drummer, hinting several times that the drummer still had no improvement. In the end, the conductor really couldn't help it, and in front of all the team members, he said: "If a musician can't play an instrument well, give him two sticks and let him be a drummer, if he can't even play the drum..." At this time, the drummer took the stubble and said: "Then take away a stick and let him be the conductor." ”

9. This weekend is my twenty-fifth birthday, and I come home for dinner after work in the afternoon. While eating, my mother looked at me affectionately and said, "If you were only five years old now, how nice it would be!" My mother said something inexplicable, so she opened her mouth and asked, "Mom, is it the cutest thing when I was five years old?" My mother: "No, with your current IQ, if you are only five years old, you feel like a child prodigy-level little genius." "As soon as I heard this, I cried... Kiss Mom!

10, working at Foxconn, get up late in the morning, if you are late, you will be fined 200 yuan! Hurriedly kitted T-shirt put on pants and went out. On the bus, a girl next to me prompted me: "Your pants are wearing backwards." I looked out the window, and after a minute, my sister reminded me again: "Your pants are wearing backwards!" "I'm still calm, but I can't be calm, did I take off my re-wear in the car?"

11. The little uncle is an ordinary worker in an electronics factory, but he married the school flower of Southeast University. Less than a month after the two were married, his wife said, "I want to divorce you!" The little uncle asked in surprise: "What wife, we just got married, why do we suddenly plan to divorce?" His wife: "When we weren't married, you told me that you wanted me to live in a hilltop villa, every day for candlelight dinner, and eat Western food, did you do it?" Little uncle: "Of course, the mountaintop villa, our village is on the top of the mountain, our single-door single-family is not the same as the villa?" Candlelight dinner, which power outage we are not eating with candles, and Western food, you can check it, mashed potatoes is the staple food of Westerners. His wife: "You roll me!" ”

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #